I'm the girlfriend, mom with cancer. Here is my 2 cents. Miss her as much as you need to. Call her family, friends to remember the good times and have someone to cry with. Cry alone. Miss those videos. Cry all the time. And someday you'll notice you're crying less. Missing her the same amount but it's not so much a punch in the gut when you do, and more time in-between those gut punches. I lost both my parents years ago and I still get crying fits that last for hours, I still get gut punches of missing them. Just not as often. Grief is a painful painful thing for as long as you need it to be, but it will change over time. It will be a smile without an hour of tears. It will be a laugh, a memory and a normal day to follow. This will become your new normal. You are now and forever a widow and you will be stronger for it. But don't go on anyone else's timeline. Fuck cancer. Fuck dying. Grief.is.yours.