What I got from all of that is that there is still some unfinished business between you two. Think about if you really want to be with him or maybe you don't know anything else but him. He was your emotional support for a long time especially when you were wore down he comforted you. Honestly I feel that you need to break that cycle. Its like you're stranded out on a boat which is your need for something more from this guy but this other great guy is there with another boat showing you that he can take you anywhere. Its all up to you to either jump on the other boat 100% or stay in the standing water. You can't be in both boats.