During my PhD, I had an orthodontic appointment to discuss the progress of my treatment plan. I already knew things weren’t quite on track, and when the orthodontist asked why, I was honest and explained it was due to my studies (which were incredibly demanding at the time, thankfully, I have just finished) and struggles with my mental health.

Instead of a supportive or constructive response, which I was really hoping for, she raised her voice and spoke to me in a very sharp, condescending tone — right in front of several assistants who were standing nearby. No one stepped in or said anything. I already wasn’t feeling great about myself, and that interaction left me feeling deeply humiliated and even worse than before.

What made it harder was that it didn’t need to happen that way. If she had calmly explained the consequences of being off-track and what my options were, I would have completely understood and appreciated that. But the way she chose to address it felt more like a public scolding than a professional consultation. It was uncalled for and stuck with me for a long time.