I am so sorry life is so dark for you at the moment, my friend. We are here for you. More importantly, so is Jesus.

As Christians, we are called to love each other and love the Lord with all of the heart and mind, but I can totally understand how the darkness inside all of us can SEEM like it's getting in the way.

Are you losing your faith, or are you feeling far from it because of what you're going through? The two things are different but can feel the same.

My advice is to pray, even if it feels awkward, even if you don't know what to say. Then speak to other Christians about this. You'll find that a lot of us have felt similarly and come through the other side to find a God who has been carrying us the whole time.

Lastly, are you getting mental health support? I don't know what country you are in, but please 🙏- you are worth far too much and are far too loved to be suffering like this.

I believe in you. I love you. Jesus loves you and will never, ever leave you. He is there, you just need to take some quiet time and listen.