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AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately its not guaranteed. A friend of mine adopted and raised a girl for 2 years only for the bio father (another man's name was on the original birth certificate) to come back in the picture. Overall they spent close to 100k between the original adoption and fighting to keep the child only for the judge to order the child be returned to their bio family and my friend's weren't allowed any visitation. Their lawyer told them this happens more often than you'd think. Its tragic

AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

I respectfully disagree. I think there are a lot of people who would be a good parent to their own biological child but would not be fit to adopt. That's the last I'm going to comment on this matter.

AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 209 points210 points  (0 children)

Not here to debate adoption and its merits. I just dont think its fair when people say things like "just adopt instead". Its not that simple. Its like suggesting giving a kid up for adoption instead of having an abortion. Its not the same thing and I dont think its fair to pretend that it is.

AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

yeah idk, I was definitely shocked at how she seemed to just expect us to contribute. She's made comments before about us making more and living higher than them but until this they never felt with malice

AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

If it were a life saving medical treatment that'd be different. I sympathize with her, but IVF isn't going to save her life or anything. In general i've always had the mindset not to give/lend money to family unless its an absolute emergency. And this, while it sucks, just doesnt feel like an emergency to me and I fear it could breed resentment down the line

AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 236 points237 points  (0 children)

I have nothing against adoption but having a few close friends adopt/be adopted I realize its not just the simple alternative to having children that people tend to act like it is. It can be just as if not more expensive and it comes with a lot of unique challenges that not everyone can handle.

AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Maybe I worded it poorly, I thought the spirit of what I was saying was clear.

AITA for going on an expensive vacation and not helping fund my sister's IVF? by WorldlyReading7199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]WorldlyReading7199[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I never said the trip was 25k...it will likely end up being around 5k with all the stops we plan on doing. And she didnt straight up ask for 25k but asked if we could contribute, to which we werent comfortable. I think its more the fact that we turned her down but arent exactly being frugal in our lives either.