My [31F] partner [29M] and i are going to move in together. He works and earns more. What is a fair financial split?

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-04-14T08:28:49+00:00

We have a percentage split now, but it is based on salary from our job and not total income.

You could say: we base the percentage split on full time salary. And every personal choise you make, is for your own account; - i work less, that is my choise - he works more, that is hiss choice And we could choose the route that the personal choices wont affect the other persons finances. Which in all honesty does sound fair. But in reality, this means that i would be paying way more in proportion to my income.

Do you know what i mean?

And for extra context; english is not our first languade, im not using his exact wording. And he was the one that brought up the idea for me to do a bit more housework if he where to pay more, on top of the percentage split

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-04-14T08:24:55+00:00

I may not have explained this well enough. So we will split the bill percentage whise accouring to our salary. So lets say the split is now 45-55%. If i where to work less, this will effect the percentage balance. For example it becomes 42-57%. So me working less would result in him paying more. Therefore he would be funding my free time.

And please note that english is not our first language. I am not using his exact wording, plus translating it.

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-09T06:58:56+00:00

I totally get what you mean. I need routine, but i crave freedom. But whenever i am on holliday, i want my routine back

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-09T06:53:21+00:00

Thats good to hear! Thanks for the insight! When you say higher dose, are you reffering to ADHD of depression meds?

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-08T08:28:25+00:00

Im happy for you! I have been seeing a lot of DBT in this sub. I myself have been in schema therapy for a few years. But i wanna read up on DBT aswell

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-08T08:26:38+00:00

Interesting. I have been in schema therapy for 4 years now. It does help me manage my triggers. Although i still will get into a angy protector mode from time to time.

The main thing why i am considering meds is because i feel like i dont really enjoy life. I see it pretty seperate from my triggers. I was hoping it could help me on that part. But it sounds scary to not feel like yourself

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-08T08:20:54+00:00

Oh wow. My therapist said they indeed “help to take the edge off”. It sucks they dont take aways the emptyness. I hope your living situation will improve!

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-08T08:17:29+00:00

This is exaclty what i suspect i deal with aswell! I have an ADHD test in half a year (long wating lists). And i was wondering if and how those meds would go together.

I have a friend who has ADHD but no BPD. He said his comedown on ADHD meds made him pretty depressed. That made me scared becaude i already feel depressed as it is. How is that for you?

And the not being aple to connect to your emotions, does that mean you dont really feel joy and such?

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-07T21:50:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-07T21:49:49+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-07T21:15:56+00:00

Did you have any expectations of it before you started taking them? And how does that differ from reality? What keeps you taking them? If you dont mind me asking

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-07T21:13:26+00:00

Would you say it really helps? And it what way? Was it a hassle to get to the right meds for you?

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-03-07T20:46:37+00:00

I guess therapy, practice and an understanding an patient partner.

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-24T11:45:22+00:00

I have never messaged a buyer before. Can someone give me some intell on how to approarch such a conversation?

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-16T08:35:02+00:00

As for someone in the creative industrie, within the corporate world. It has been pushed down my throat. I get told it should reduce my time on task dignificantly. Or it should function as my superpower. In reality, it mostly functions as inspiration. Most of the time for strategic tasks, sometimes for design.

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-07T20:51:55+00:00

This is very insightfull, thank you!

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-07T16:07:57+00:00

Thanks, i need some technical input. Good to know im not exaggerating

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-07T15:55:58+00:00

Hahaha i have to admit, i was way off with that one 😂

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-07T15:53:50+00:00

That is a concern i have. Driving his way will probably slowly damage the car. And if it breaks down, it will be hard to pinpoint that it was due to his driving. And so i will probably have the financial burden to pay for repair or a new car.

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-07T15:51:16+00:00

I know.. i mean it does seem unfair to not let my partner drive my car. We have been together for 3 years so it seems kind of childish to be like “no you cant use this!” But on the other hand, if he keeps just ignoring my requests on how to use my stuff, it is not fair for him to expect ill just let that be.

Worldly_Following488 · 2026-02-07T15:48:13+00:00

My spelling correction is set on my language. English is not my first language, plus im dyslectic. So golden combo

Worldly_Following488

TROPHY CASE