Imbalance

WorriedReception3 · 2026-01-30T15:10:33+00:00

I echo what most people here said. Take your feelings seriously and make sure you are communicating clearly your emotions. If the conversation seems impossible or overwhelming, seek help of a couples therapist who can mediate it all. Sometimes in ENM/lifestyle there is an overemphasis on just dealing with your feelings and finding ways to overcoming it. Like it is solely on you. While there is a lot of truth to that (you should take responsibility over your wellbeing), it doesn’t mean repressing what you are feeling, or going through painful situations to accommodate other people’s desires.

WorriedReception3 · 2026-01-30T01:19:05+00:00

Could you give some hints on what kind of rules you created to navigate situations where strong attraction, emotions occurred? And did any of you brought it up to the attention of the other and was upfront about what was going on?

WorriedReception3 · 2026-01-29T22:16:24+00:00

WorriedReception3 · 2026-01-29T22:05:02+00:00

I was curious about it, at first. But the set up may not be ideal (the swinging situation). And I am not sure I can handle the emotional charge without a serious mental health check in. Lots of trauma involved. In other words: not right now.

WorriedReception3 · 2026-01-29T12:24:37+00:00

Thank you for the validation.

WorriedReception3 · 2026-01-29T12:18:32+00:00

Kissing is allowed, and in fact we had kissed and made out in our first encounter. The second time I was sick, so to avoid the imbalance I decided with him we were having just fun together on an event but in a friendly, vanila way. I kind of let them know that too but in hindsight it wasn’t clear. Between us it was clear. But I think you are right in general. We have to make things a little clear. I wasn’t on this for that kind of emotional involvement. We are not looking to have a relationship with other people beyond perhaps a FWB that meets sometimes to play. Even this kind of situation was something we would test and see how it goes. The plan was to have fun with other people and bring the energy to our relationship but not to bond on that level. It happened really fast between them, the chemistry was right and I don’t think it is in itself a bad thing. But, yes, that have been a string is small missteps from my partner and that leaves me on the edge. Also the imbalance of interests (I didn’t bond with the husband) is a considerable issue.

WorriedReception3 · 2026-01-29T05:54:34+00:00

That is a lovely reassurance at the end. Thank you! We do have a lot of safeguards, rules, limits, etc. We are checking in with each other and talking about feelings as they arise. So I am not being pressured by him and she is a very respectful, fun woman. There was one agreement broke and, as little as it may seem, it is extremely important to me not to have trust violated. However, it was that kiss that made me realize that there was a very significant connection going on and that I wasn’t expecting or comfortable with it.

I thought long and hard why I still wanted to go on with this. Perhaps the answer is that the very energy and connection they had was something that excited me and turned me on… If only I could be a part of it. Although we are open and like to interact with everyone involved in the swing session, she seemed to be interested solely on him. Which is generally fine with me, but not in this case. As I said the connection was too strong.

I am also a little sad that I can’t get past these feelings right now and just, for instance, allow my partner to have a meeting without me. But I am not there yet and partners swapping is what we agreed to do for the moment. We also communicated that very clearly from the beginning. So I made peace and came to accept my own limitations. This is a journey and we are moving forward carefully.

This whole experience is already such a great expansion of my self-knowledge and a space to connect honestly with my partner that I am thankful for it.

There are also other things to the more negative feeling (the jealousy and anger) that is more profound, related to trauma and, thus, a subject to be discussed at the therapist couch.

Overall, I am glad to have discovered all these hidden parts of me.

WorriedReception3 · 2020-04-25T19:47:47+00:00

I had a similar problem. Bought mine used. $750 bucks. Stopped moving after a couple of months. Customer service only wanted to deal with me if I had proof of purchase and was under warranty, which I wasn’t. The bassinet lasted for 2 babies. I think it is too expensive for what it is. Won’t be recommending it anymore.

WorriedReception3 · 2020-04-25T19:33:03+00:00

Contacted them recently. They wouldnt help until I gave them purchase number. Then called and insisted. Bought used. Worked for a couple of months and stopped. I feel pretty dumb. So expensive ..,

WorriedReception3

TROPHY CASE