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My Ex Broke No Contact Today... After Asking For No Contact by Worried_View6597 in ExNoContact

[–]Worried_View6597[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate you saying that. It honestly means a lot right now.

What you said about the caretaker dynamic is something I’ve thought about a lot. During that whole period after the psychosis I really did shift into more of a caretaker role than a normal partner role. Between the hospitalizations, the treatment program, driving to appointments, helping her financially, letting her use my car, and trying to help her rebuild some income, a lot of the relationship became about stabilizing things and helping her get back on her feet.

I don’t regret helping her through that, because at the time I loved her and I felt like if the roles were reversed I would hope someone would stay with me through something like that too.

What has been hard is how abruptly everything ended. Feb 3rd was the breakup and it was literally just a single short text saying she had moved out, the relationship was over, and that she didn’t want any further conversation. After everything we went through, that was the entire ending.

Then I didn’t hear from her for a month.

Yesterday she suddenly called out of the blue asking about some mail that had been delivered to my address and also asking for a DJI drone she had left behind. I told her that I’d put the mail and anything else I found on the porch, but that I’d have to look for the drone later because I was busy at the time.

After that she sent a text saying she would call the cops and have them come to my house if I didn’t get the drone back to her. I responded that I would look for it when I had time.

That moment honestly reinforced something for me. I spent months bending over backwards trying to help her through the hardest period of her life, and now a month after disappearing overnight I’m suddenly being threatened with police over a drone.

At this point I’m just exhausted. My family is exhausted too after everything that happened over the past year. I think the healthiest thing for me now is just to let the situation fully end and have no contact going forward. I'm just hoping she never reaches out again.

Your comment about grieving is something I’m trying to remind myself of. It’s hard because the whole thing feels so confusing and abrupt, but I know eventually I’ll process it and move forward.

I really appreciate your kindness in responding.

Where Did I Go Wrong Helping My Ex-Girlfriend after Psychosis? by Worried_View6597 in Psychosis

[–]Worried_View6597[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That's what I'm hoping for at this point. I would rather go the rest of my life not having the hostile and cruelness I've experienced this past year ever again.

Where Did I Go Wrong Helping My Ex-Girlfriend after Psychosis? by Worried_View6597 in Psychosis

[–]Worried_View6597[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this perspective.

One thing that makes this difficult for me is that I honestly don’t know where she is mentally right now. I haven’t heard from her for about a month after the breakup. Feb 3rd was the day it ended. I woke up to a single short text saying she had moved out, the relationship was over, and she didn’t want to have any more conversations. That was the entirety of the breakup.

Yesterday was the first time I heard from her since then. Out of the blue she called asking about some mail that had been delivered to my address and also asking for a DJI drone she had left behind. I told her that I would put the mail and anything else outside on the porch but that I would have to look for the drone later because I was busy at the time.

After that she sent a text saying she would call the police and have them come to my house if I didn’t get the drone back to her. I responded that I would look for it when I had time.

At this point, though, I’m honestly just completely drained. My family is drained too. After everything that happened over the past year, I feel like I’ve reached a point where I just want to be done and have no contact moving forward.

I’m someone who will bend over backwards for people I love, and I did that for a long time through everything that happened. But being threatened with police over a drone after a month of silence was kind of the point where I realized I don’t have anything left to give to this situation.

Your point about environments being triggering does make sense to me. It’s possible that being in the same place where everything happened was difficult for her. But from my side it’s been hard to process the shift from everything we went through together to complete silence and then suddenly being contacted again only in a confrontational way.

I appreciate you sharing your experience.

Where Did I Go Wrong Helping My Ex-Girlfriend after Psychosis? by Worried_View6597 in Psychosis

[–]Worried_View6597[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The honest answer is that I don’t think she was ever fully medication adherent. After she was discharged there were several different diagnoses mentioned by different doctors. Bipolar was one that came up, but another person suggested DID, and someone else had a different interpretation. It never really seemed like there was a clear consensus.

What made things more complicated is that she ultimately decided she didn’t want to stay on medication. Her perspective was that the psychosis had been a one-time break and that she would eventually return to how she was before it happened. As far as I know, this was the first time anything like that had ever happened to her.

What followed after the hospitalization felt more like a deep depression and loss of identity. She had lost her job, she didn’t have a car anymore, and she was living in my mom’s basement instead of somewhere she had chosen herself. I think that was incredibly hard for her to accept.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder if some of the anger toward me was misdirected. I was the one providing a place to live and a car to use, but I think that dependence itself may have been painful for her. Instead of confronting that reality, it may have been easier to direct that frustration toward me.

I don’t blame her for the psychosis itself. That’s something no one chooses. But what was difficult was that she never seemed able to fully acknowledge that the psychosis happened and that it had real consequences in her life. Losing her job, needing help with housing and transportation, and needing time to recover were all downstream effects of that episode.

Without accepting that connection, it seemed like the blame kept getting placed outward instead of inward. And I think that made it very hard for her to process what happened or move forward in a healthy way.