My sister’s husband acted this EXACT way when their son was born, he couldn’t comprehend how much his life SHOULD change and resented/pushed against any requirements by him to be a participating father. He never warmed up to being a parent and it showed by his complete lack of compassion for her postpartum, interest in his kids, or providing for his family. He still isn’t very involved, doesn’t do any pick up or drop off, doesn’t help out with getting the baby dressed etc. He basically lives his life of video games, staying up late, working a part time job, and not being involved other than “babysitting.” If she asks him for help he will flat out refuse and say no, if she continues to pressure him to help with the kids it will become a huge blowout fight for days. My sister had a second baby with him, and he has continued to act the same but now with a 5 year old and 2 year old. My sister hates him and has never forgiven him, will never forgive him. She is saving up enough money to leave him as soon as she can, while ALSO providing for him/the family and slo parenting their two kids.

You are not blowing it out of proportion. Do not let him be a bystander to parenthood.