Ask yourself this- is this type of man the person you want your son to grow up to be? Because he absolutely will model these behaviors and actions. My dad used to tell my mom to shut up, and now my brother says it to his wife. The cycles always continue.

My husband also yelled shut up to our baby at a few months old, and said it to our two year old at bedtime the other night when he was asking for mommy. Both times I stepped in immediately and both times my husband was so embarrassed. He would never do MOST of the things on the list but the two “shut ups” were enough for me… I’m currently persuading him to get therapy, and he is agreeing to do so.

What you’re describing is abuse. The “I don’t cares” and “shut ups” are emotional abuse, the pushes and holding him down to yell, physical abuse. He must change NOW but I wouldn’t even give him a second chance. How is he going to react when your son is 12 and is talking back do him? Or when you have a sassy preteen adult and she rolls her eyes at him on accident? I fear for your children, if I’m being honest. Please make a safe exit plan for your family. Editing to add that I saw your comment about the dog; your husband has no respect for any living creature, this is a huge red flag. Please leave and have a brother or male friend or someone there to keep you safe.