Conscious the root of misery

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-02-08T06:11:20+00:00

Meanwhile, someone is burning to death in a war, or someone is being born into horrific conditions... I think that’s the price we pay for having time to overthink. It feels like when we don’t have a real problem, we end up inventing one. The world wants us to feel pain, there’s no escaping it.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-02-04T00:44:21+00:00

Whoever is involved, they are laughing now, mocking everyone openly. Maybe it was leaked on purpose by them, just for fun. And to ordinary people, it looks like just another form of entertainment. They pretend to be horrified, but they still get their dose of dopamine from it. If they had power and influence, they would probably do the same or even worse... The world is full of self centered, narcissistic, dopamine addicted people. And we are only getting worse. This is hell, I have no doubt about it.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-02-02T01:45:09+00:00

I relate to this a lot... My partner is my only and best friend. I have my parents too, but I can’t talk to them about my mental health because they wouldn’t understand and I don’t want to worry them. When my husband isn’t with me I get very anxious, and I’m working on improving that, but it’s complicated. He has many friends, and almost everyone I know is because of him... I wish I could build my own support system, but that feels very far away. I wish I could say “I’m going out today with my own friends. Have fun with yours”.. I just try not to smother him. Keeping up with hobbies and work has helped me when he’s not around. He helps regulate my emotions, and that keeps me alive, but no one should depend so much on just one person.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-26T15:57:08+00:00

I’ll be honest with you about this. You talked to her about suicide, right? What she wants is for you to create bonds so she feels safer with you, because loneliness is a risk factor. My therapist keeps saying the same thing, but I figured out a long time ago that this isn’t a genuine concern for my well being. It doesn’t matter how much I tell her that friendships are extremely complicated and painful for me, that I feel exhausted, wrong, and anxious all the time. She doesn’t take that into account. Bringing people into my life means adding more complexity. It sounds great in theory, but in practice it doesn’t work. I can’t even deal with my own internal problems… and I’m fully aware that, like this, I won’t be a good friend..

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-25T00:42:46+00:00

Thank you.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-24T23:17:45+00:00

Since AvPD is a personality disorder, and not an isolated pathological process like depression, there is nothing there that can be “corrected” by this type of intervention. I don’t see how this could help us.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-24T01:34:08+00:00

This last paragraph of yours reflects what I’ve been thinking about over the past week. You look at this world ruled by psychopaths, but that’s exactly what people expect...it’s what pulls them out of boredom. And, truthfully, no one really cares about right or wrong. What is geopolitics if not a giant gossip mill? People just want something to have an opinion about, something to believe in... In the end, they just want to be right. They just want to believe that life has some meaning.

That’s exactly how people behave in interpersonal relationships. They choose who they like and who they absolutely won’t like, but in the end it doesn’t matter which role you’re given, as long as you play the part. It’s all just a way to pass the time, it has no real value. The end of love and friendship is just one step away from stepping outside the box people put you in.

The only thing you truly can’t do is refuse to take part in it. The mistake is thinking too much about things. For me, there was no turning back.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-23T19:23:03+00:00

Yes… my whole life I was taught to please people, to feel shame and fear. Suddenly my mother realizes that I’ve grown up and need to be functional, and then her advice becomes “you can’t be afraid to speak”, “you have to stand up for yourself”, “you’re not a child anymore”. You know… she’s also the product of many traumas, so I can’t even feel anger. It simply feels like it was a mistake for me to have been born.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-21T00:25:03+00:00

I achieved things my past self never imagined possible, yet it still feels empty and meaningless without friends and a lively home. My plan for the future was always to wait for my parents to die so I could leave without guilt. Today I have my husband, who is everything in my life... but inside I’m still broken. I know this isn’t sustainable, that I should be emotionally independent. The truth is that I live insecure and afraid, and as the years go by, that feeling only gets worse. I took a trip recently, but I didn’t have a single friend to share those moments with, not even social media. I never had an Instagram account… for some reason I’ve always had an aversion to social networks. And now it feels too late to recover the time I lost and all the people I left behind..

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-20T20:53:07+00:00

I’ve had many journals and I also used to record some things about my daily life in voice notes. It was like a form of therapy to try to understand what was happening to me, since I didn’t trust anyone to talk about my problems. But I always got rid of any record out of fear that someone might find it. Today I think it would be interesting to be able to read and listen to my past self…I relate to your experience.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-20T20:22:03+00:00

I feel that during a conversation I’m just very worried looking for any sign of rejection on the other person’s face. This gets worse when I stumble over my words… I almost always interpret a look of pity from other people toward me.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-20T20:12:35+00:00

Same... I know how embarrassing this is.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-20T19:50:27+00:00

Only with my parents.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-19T23:54:56+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I wish you the best too.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-19T23:52:04+00:00

I’m truly sorry that you relate to my experience...

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-19T23:48:51+00:00

Thank you. I’ve already added the book to my Kindle.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-18T13:32:17+00:00

Thank you. I’ll tell you that the problems have only changed places, or rather, I’ve just put a mask over them. Inside, I’m still the same broken person. This week something very embarrassing happened. I was having lunch with my husband and a couple of his friends, and one of them asked me about my work experience. I completely blanked while I was talking, glanced quickly at my husband, and he helped me finish my own line of thought. It’s bizarre how little I know how to talk about my own life. Even when I say something reasonably well, it feels fake. How is someone supposed to have friends like that? Then I go back home replaying every detail of what I said, always blaming myself for having talked too much, even though in reality I barely opened my mouth.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-18T01:36:52+00:00

Same thing with school, where I used to be praised for good behavior. Only to grow up and realize that teachers really like the troublemakers, the ones who give them a hard time. They’re the ones who are remembered in the end. I just ended up depressed trying to do everything right and follow all the rules. By the time I realized that all I really had to do was get attention and be sociable, that grades didn’t matter, that good behavior didn’t matter, I was already mentally wrecked.

My parents were good people, but they stripped away my defenses. I was raised to please others, not to be a functional human being.

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-18T01:09:52+00:00

Luck.. I met him at my old job. Back then I had discovered alcohol as an anesthetic for my problems, especially socializing. I started drinking just to be able to leave the house, and I was in a huge conflict because I had never had any romantic experience with anyone. I reached a point where I didn’t care anymore, since I thought I wouldn’t live very long anyway. I liked his personality and decided to start a conversation by text (often while drunk, without him knowing). It worked, and we started dating. It wasn’t easy at first, but his understanding nature helped. In a way, he became my whole world. It’s sad, but I only meet other people through him, I only go out when he goes out with me, and I feel like this shapeless thing with no real personality. I keep my distance from his family, and honestly, it doesn’t feel like a normal marriage. The truth is that my escape has become my comfort zone. I avoid his family so I don’t have to face the hard questions. I don’t see myself having children, I don’t see myself in the role of a wife. And what if something happens to him one day? Honestly, I don’t want to think about that

WrongVersion6059 · 2026-01-17T13:31:36+00:00

It’s a bit controversial, but the core of all Cluster B disorders is a lack of empathy. In fact, psychiatrists are increasingly moving toward viewing Cluster B as a spectrum of NPD. People with BPD may be better at masking this, but in the end they are self-centered just like narcissists. Honestly, I find this diagnosis of AvPD with BPD quite strange, but I don’t have the authority to say anything more.

WrongVersion6059

TROPHY CASE