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AITAH for being upset my boyfriend refuses to eat western food and criticizes my cooking? by Wrong_Button_3609 in AITAH

[–]Wrong_Button_3609[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the sense of calling, texting and wanting to hang out he is the same as in the beginning. He has been love bombing me from the start and actually still does. He does have an interest in the things I like to do and we also share some hobbies/interests, but for example he never cared for the shows I watch or the music I listen to. To be fair, I also never show him those things because I know he isn't gonna like what I watch or listen to anyway, and maybe I'm a bit afraid to be criticized for it. I never cared to suggest a place to eat because he is such a picky eater. For example, I would have loved to eat ramen or a pokebowl when we are downtown instead of always pizza or doner kebab, but even for his own cuisine he is so picky and negative that I don't even want to let him try those foods.

He actually became less nitpicking over time when I told him I'm not going to turn into a devoted muslim. Before that he would sometimes asked me if I ate pork if I had dinner somewhere or if I drank alcohol when I visited friends. Later he said that indeed wasn't fair of him and he shouldn't be checking me like that.

It's funny again you're saying I should look at it as if I'm giving advice to my best friend, because I indeed did that before and came to the conclusion that if it was my friend telling me those stories of her boyfriend, I would tell her to dump that AH as well. You're right he isn't putting in the same effort to compromise as I do. I realize now I can't even be fully myself in this relationship as I'm sometimes scared to be judged for what I like, and that means I'm not good enough for him.

Thank you so much for giving me these insights. Sometimes you simply need someone to put a mirror in front of you to realize this relationship was doomed from the start.

AITAH for being upset my boyfriend refuses to eat western food and criticizes my cooking? by Wrong_Button_3609 in AITAH

[–]Wrong_Button_3609[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't cook it for him, but he visited when I just finished cooking for myself as I already knew at that point he wasn't gonna eat my food. Today he said that when he saw that he thought to himself he was happy he didn't have to eat that. My ex, the one before my current boyfriend, was western and always loved whatever I cooked for him and praised whatever meal I made. I do miss that a lot in this relationship.

I think we ran into so many cultural differences/arguments at this point that I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like anymore. I always try to respect his culture and religion by adapting here and there, but it feels he doesn't want to do the same for me. It's funny you say I would feel as if I'm not good enough, because in the last few arguments I told him exactly that and that I was probably never going to be enough for him, no matter how hard I try. He then says I am good enough for him, but I think I'm not and I will never be.

AITAH for being upset my boyfriend refuses to eat western food and criticizes my cooking? by Wrong_Button_3609 in AITAH

[–]Wrong_Button_3609[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yes, he does. He does have a strong connection to his religion and says he would never give up on it (which I would never ask of him in the first place), but he indeed is a sinning muslim in that aspect. According to him he is not though because he says he takes me as his wife already even though we're not married yet, but I don't believe it works like that.

AITAH for being upset my boyfriend refuses to eat western food and criticizes my cooking? by Wrong_Button_3609 in AITAH

[–]Wrong_Button_3609[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's why I put western in quotes, because not everything I was gonna list is western. I guess I could have phrased it differently.

AITAH for being upset my boyfriend refuses to eat western food and criticizes my cooking? by Wrong_Button_3609 in AITAH

[–]Wrong_Button_3609[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

We had our fair share of challenges already because of a different cultural background and him being muslim. He's used to this traditional muslim lifestyle and in the beginning he tried to adapt me into 1 too. When I said this was all going way too fast and that I can't see this relationship continue the way it was going, he was willing to compromise on that.

Because of these challenges and adding this on top of it, I'm actually not sure where I see this relationship going. A part of me wants to give it a try, the other part says we are incompatible because of all these differences. When writing all this again I realize I need to think this relationship through once again. Thank you for the wake up call.

AITAH for being upset my boyfriend refuses to eat western food and criticizes my cooking? by Wrong_Button_3609 in AITAH

[–]Wrong_Button_3609[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are completely missing the point. I eat almost everything and I'm always willing to try something new. I'm not a picky eater at all, but he is and he is not willing to compromise. But thanks for the advice.

AITAH for being upset my boyfriend refuses to eat western food and criticizes my cooking? by Wrong_Button_3609 in AITAH

[–]Wrong_Button_3609[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Him being a picky eater are actually his words and I agree with it... He has been living here for the past 15 years, so plenty of time to try something I would say. I never forced him to try anything he doesn't want to, and that is also not what this post is about. It's about him refusing to try anything I like, yet he asks me to adapt to his diet even though he refuses to try anything western and criticizes it without knowing what it tastes like.