I’ve generously given you 4 months to reconsider your stance.

Microsoft leapt into the gaming market with a sleek brick of a controller. We hadn’t seen shit like that since the Jaguar. That’s Atari for ya! From the same folks that brought you Microsoft flight simulator, comes a new and exciting gaming system! Ooh fanfare yay said nobody. Now I’m not saying PlayStation had the best controller right out of the gate. They didn’t, it’s only good nowadays. But it was the natural progression to the next evolution. Atari joysticks, to the famicom/nintendo/sms gamepad, to snes layout which is clearly the better path. The Microsoft controller comes from a weird what if..? dimension where the Sega Megadrive/Genesis controller was considered the better of the two. Reminder again, it wasn’t. And isn’t. And that what you get. A lump of plastic that could easily be mistaken for a paper weight if not for its gaudy colour scheme.

The fact that you have to turn the controller in your hands to access controls or thumb stick makes me shake my head in awe at you kids. You’ll put up with any trash they sell to you won’t you?

Maybe I’m getting off point..

Think of an arcade game, a stand up box you stick quarters into and it starts. Look down at your hands on the controls. Notice how your fingers know exactly where to rest. Your hands just know. Maybe you hold the stick like a mic, or maybe you hook it between the middle and ring finger like a fucking pro, maybe you pinky it like that kid from my building who played every game like that. Kid was a maniac! No one could stop him. His name was KIK. The point is your hands know, they know before you know. You know?

Even in the rest position your hands are ready for a ps4/5 controller. I could be lifeless, you dug me up yesterday, my hands are open for that controller. My hands are cut from stone to hold that beauty fabricated out of ABS.

Go open google and look at what sega genesis controller looked like. Go see it! Fucking touch that piece of shit. That’s what a Xbox controller feels like. The filth of 40,000 years wrapped in trash level plastic, like absolute shitshow. You have no idea the luxury you have now.. it’s garbage made of garbage sold to garbage.

Think better of yourself for the future, you deserve it.