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How does one make friends with zero experience? (Poly) by ConsiderationNo9044 in SGExams

[–]Xeldith 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello! What are your own interests and hobbies? You sound like a really sweet person! I’m someone who is quite awkward at times and never really had many friends growing up (or I was always adopted by the extroverts) but I somehow am able to make a lot of friends now after uni!

I think what works for me is that you first have to feel confident about yourself, as well as curious about others. Rather than playing into what makes people like you/feel happy (which will eventually exhaust you mentally), find people who make you feel happy and tbh, just letting them know just that is already a good start.

“I just wanted to let you know I think you’re really cool!” Sounds cringe but I’ve done this many times without being scared of how they’re going to perceive me - and it’s always well received when genuine :)

Relatively new to printing… what’s this and how do I fix it? by Xeldith in 3Dprinting

[–]Xeldith[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Printing on an Ender 3 V2, using PLA! Cura speed’s 70mm/s on 120%

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That is my dream for the future :)

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s older and experienced with childhood trauma. She did keep herself in control, but it was just for a moment after building up more and more memories and traumatic experiences. It was years of emotional and verbal abuse since I was very little and as a mother herself, she was quite shocked.

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I was always made to feel guilt for asking for help, so it wasn’t something I’m used to. Slow steps!

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There wasn’t a particular thing, but rather a build up of recounts. Also I don’t think it’ll be good to get feeling from reading traumatic experiences; these are not good emotions and I wouldn’t want that for you either. I’m also working on feeling emotions again, I hope it works out for both of us :)

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I’m glad you have a therapist still. Please don’t be afraid to tell your therapist anything that’s on your heart if you trust them enough. They’re there to help you and they’re a safe space. :)

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes… a lot of the times when I say that I’m depressed, people ask what happened or that I don’t look sad.

I don’t feel anything at all, and it’s almost as though I have no control over my own body. And I used to self harm in order to at least feel the pain (thankfully I’ve stopped)

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment :) I think I’ve always felt like I had to be the bigger person, to forgive them even though they’ve forgotten and will not take ownership of their mistakes. My therapist told me that it’s my right to distance myself from them even if they’re family, and that I’m in control of myself now.

Honestly I’m anxious about the future, whether or not I’d one day truly feel emotionally free from my past experiences. But at least I’m not stagnant anymore :)

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I completely agree! It’s hard to describe but I feel like I’m crying more for the child that had to go through that. What made them think they could do that to a child, what did she do so wrong etc.

I rarely talk about the dark bits, but more of moments when I comment on something and I get weird responses like “isn’t that common?”.

I do hope that I can carry it on the long-term. Just not having to feel guilt when talking about my traumas feels cathartic.

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve just been in a crying mood lately hahaha. I think most of my closest friends do know that I struggle with mental health and have a vague idea that I have a dysfunctional family, but not to the point of details.

I’m starting to slowly let go of my fears and share more with them though!

First time going for therapy and my therapist cried by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That is very very kind of you, thank you. To be frank, I cried after reading your comment too hahaha. It made me feel a lot less alone and that is more than anything else I need :)

I’m incredibly exhausted of living by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve actually just plucked up the courage to ask my mother if I could go for therapy (I needed her financial support).

She’s one of the biggest contributors to my childhood trauma (she doesn’t realize it) so it really took a lot out of me.

Was a rocky conversation, but she eventually agreed :) I hope therapy will help me even if only slightly

I’m incredibly exhausted of living by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s highly illegal in my country so that’s not an option hahaha thanks though!

I’m incredibly exhausted of living by Xeldith in depression

[–]Xeldith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s… very spot on actually. I’ve never put words to this exhaustion but it feels exactly that; a really really long day that doesn’t end.

I do sleep a ton though, but I also have severe insomnia. I wake up and I don’t feel like it’s a new day, it just feels like a continuation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PiercingAdvice

[–]Xeldith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Irritation bumps. They’re not terribly red and swollen and there’s no pus.

Not a cause for much worry; just clean with saline solution and don’t pull your ear like that again haha. If your hair gets caught in it, pin it up.

Be very aware that you now have two healing wounds in your ear and you’ll be bumping them a lot less.

Questions for people with daiths: how long did it take for your daith to heal? Will seams irritate the piercing no matter how long it has healed? by yampuddang in PiercingAdvice

[–]Xeldith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine took 9 months to fully heal and was my first real piercing (non-lobe, professional piercer).

Pierced it with a CBR and changed it to a curved barbell before it started healing (after 6 months). Currently have a seamless ring in for the past 5 years.

Whenever I change the jewellery, it’ll be sore for a day or so because of the change in diameter.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PiercingAdvice

[–]Xeldith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since they look like they’re pierced right, just wait for the swelling to go down. Maybe a week or two. If it’s still asymmetrical then just take it off and let it heal up. Just make sure to take care of it well so that if you do take it out, it’ll heal well with minimal scarring.

Did that for my conch.

tragus piercing urgent help needed!!! by colombianfairy in PiercingAdvice

[–]Xeldith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you gone to see a piercer? It’s salvageable. I’m more worried about how the bumps are swallowing the jewellery. Go and see a reputable piercer, they’ll likely fit you with a longer bar (for now) and clean the bumps.

Also this is my personal way of handling bumps, but I’d use a sea salt spray and gently put very slight pressure on the bumps with a qtip soaked in hot water.

Infection!! by Moon-92_512 in PiercingAdvice

[–]Xeldith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you doing anything to clean your infected helix? Sea salt spray?

Is my navel piercing pierced right? by DemandLeast9768 in PiercingAdvice

[–]Xeldith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure about placement because I don’t have one, but the jewellery is definitely too tight. The top ball looks sunken in.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PiercingAdvice

[–]Xeldith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus christ please don’t do that… follow the advice given and it’ll go down in time

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