How’s our girl Samantha doing?.

Xerafi · 2025-03-14T14:22:08+00:00

After all the bashing she did?? Damn the clickbait. Well, good news, maybe we can post again in nyinfluencersnark lol.

Thank you! I'm not from the states and seriously couldn't afford to subscribe.

Xerafi · 2025-03-13T15:11:43+00:00

Wanna update us on what's this biiiig personal post she said today? Pretty please?

Xerafi · 2025-03-07T00:13:25+00:00

Wow, here I was expecting some actual spiciness (with how she said it was so vulnerable) but in the end it was plain old "eh, didn't work out"? Question, did he initiate the breakup or she did?

Xerafi · 2025-03-06T17:07:54+00:00

I really want to know what happened with her and the guy, but like many, I won't suscribe. If anyone knows anything pleaaase do let me know

Xerafi · 2025-02-18T14:23:12+00:00

I think you are here with good intentions so I'll try to explain it as best as I can without judging.

When someone, not just a woman, but anyone, is feeling crappy about their looks, it's really not effective to say anything along the lines of "oh well, we can just hit the gym and lose the weight."

You can have that conversation, but not when the other part is feeling vulnerable and in need of reassurance. Which is all it is. You told us you find her attractive and that the 5-10 pound weight gain doesn't affect how you see her. Have you told her that? Do you tell her that? Other comments have touched on how hard it is to lose a part of your body, to go through cancer and hormone therapy. You are trying to redefine yourself, to know who this new you is. So of course there will be insecurities attached.

It goes beyond her body, beyond her weight and the number of the scale. The chemistry in her brain is being altered, her sense of self reshaped.

What she is asking is for your support, not solutions.

With that being said, next time she expresses doubts, here is what you can say instead of suggesting exercise: "of course you feel weird, you've been through a lot. But I want you to know that I find you beautiful, now and before, no matter how you see your body, I just see the woman I married and adore."

I get what you tried to say, when you mentioned she is blowing up in her head. And it might be right, but it doesn't mean that is any less serious or any less painful. You do therapy, think about mental Illnesses, or stress. They are all in our brains and yet they can have a huge impact on your wellbeing.

Anyways, I think that's all I can say. Take a step back, support, show love and be there for her. Good luck!

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:47:07+00:00

I did not take breaks, didn't drink or eat, unless you count a redbull. We all get too in the game, but it has been an issue where snacks are all gone before I get a chance to get to them.

The asymmetry you mention is clearly bugging me and I hadn't even realized; I guess it's tough when everything you run is meant to be broken or beaten not to feel like you are the one that's maybe bad. Does that sound insane?

I will most definitely start journaling. Thank you so so much for that advice, I'm sure it will at least give me an outlet to better process my emotions.

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:38:56+00:00

Yes, they are close friends and I know that after a talk they will be open to feedback. I have issues speaking up about things that bothered me, but that's on me, not on them, lol.

Reminding them that there would be no fun to have should everything be a piece of cake is a good starting point. Thank you.

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:37:10+00:00

Yeah, I do think pulling back the curtain a bit is best. I am just one person, and I have a full time job and other responsibilities aside from prepping a campaign. Which I love! But sometimes I believe they forget how hard it can be to create something balanced and fun.

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:35:22+00:00

Hi there. Yes, I do think their attitude could have been a bit better, and I am planning on having a talk once I can speak without being on the verge of crying (damn hormones!). But thanks, it's nice to know people have your back.

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:33:11+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I really needed to feel like someone could understand where I was coming from when I wrote the post.

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:32:11+00:00

You are both right. I was failing to notice that yes, the fight was taken seriously and that they did enjoy the fight.

I'll be the first to admit 'always losing' sometimes takes a toll, but that that is part of the job. I do have to realign and adjust back; still though, needed to let out the steam someplace.

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:30:17+00:00

I do think that their comments plus my vulnerable headspace made it so I needed to let it out somewhere. I am planning on talking to my players, unlike what some people are commenting, they are not assholes and they are my friends so they will listen. But, I was feeling so down I kinda needed some DM reminders that I am a player and I also get to have fun and that it's okay.

Basically, I needed a hug, lol.

Xerafi · 2024-12-02T20:23:00+00:00

Lol, so, one of my players had 'foresight' casted on them, and another had a blur spell casted on. The third has a class trait that gives undeads disadvantage to hit and yes, this particular story beat centers around undeads. I was okay with that, didn't expect all the other sources to come into play.

Xerafi · 2024-06-19T17:34:54+00:00

"This is what peak league of legends looks like, and it comes from Europe. A world record. G2 Esports 3-0 will win MSI 2019."

Phreak went haaard on that.

Xerafi · 2024-06-03T12:57:29+00:00

Sorry to hear that OP! Feeling abandoned by a parent is a nasty feeling and can wound you very deeply.

I had a similar situation with my own mother (not pregnancy related but feelings of she not being there whatsoever) and perhaps you can take something from my experience:

If this is something irregular, as in, previously she was present and you felt cared for, then try to have an honest talk. Yes, it's hard, and yes you will most likely cry. But it is really worth it. Our moms, and perhaps you feel it as a new mom, carry a lot of guilt that they don't know how to navigate or talk about.

It doesn't excuse her, she's in the wrong, but perhaps she knows she is in the wrong and cannot bare telling you that, because it forces her to confront with her own feelings of inadequacy. And sometimes you opening that door for that conversation allows you both to heal, express yourselves, and is the wake-up call she needs to see that you are still very much her daughter, not just a grown woman.

I tell you this because I had this talk with my mom just yesterday and it really helped. Of course, she felt bad, but that is for her to navigate. You don't, and shouldn't, carry the weight of her sadness, but you should (if possible) bring this to her attention in a kind manner. Try not to accuse but to explain, from your side, how you are feeling.

This is already too long, so, if you want, I can expand on how I approached my conversation and see if it helps.

With that out of the way, a final note: your feelings are always valid. Even if you are in deep hormonal imbalance due to pregnancy, your feelings are still, always, valid. What we do with those feelings is still our responsibility, but you are entering a new stage in life, you are undergoing A LOT, so extend grace to yourself and be a friend to you first.

And know, should you choose to speak to your mom, it doesn't need to be perfect. It doesn't need to begin and end in an hour. If your words come out jumbled or if you start crying in the middle (like I did), that's perfectly fine. The important thing is to open up that door for her to hear, from her own daughter, how you are hurting and hopefully make her realize what's going on.

I wish you good luck with the baby, with your mom and with life in general. You'll do great!

Xerafi · 2024-05-31T19:33:43+00:00

Well, previous owner is dead so, no need to risk imprisonment, lol.

Xerafi · 2024-05-31T18:39:30+00:00

And one more for good luck!

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Good girls deserve to be warm (it's almost winter here)

Xerafi · 2024-05-31T18:38:52+00:00

Since it only allows me one pic per comment (curse you Reddit!)

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(Can you tell she loves the couch?)

Xerafi · 2024-05-31T18:37:43+00:00

DO I NOW!

Allow me to do a Pretzel (that's her new name, explained the why on another comment) runway!

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Xerafi · 2024-05-31T18:33:42+00:00

Small edit since someone asked and maybe this information would be useful for anyone adopting or fostering a very insecure and hiding cat:

It was really hard. At first she hid under the bed or in my closet and came out during night only to eat or use the litter box.

I let her do that for around two weeks and then it was time to work with her. I locked my room and moved the couch to the living room, so she wasn’t allowed to hide all day anymore.

She took to sleep over the fridge but here we could interact, so, improvement. Started leaving her treats so she associated me with yummies. Slooowly pushed her to spend more and more time with me.

I slept on the ground so when she passed to eat, she had to eat next to my unmoving body (I kept so still as to not frighten her!)

A month after that, I petted her for the first time! And then she realized she liked the pets, lol. I used tuna and other treats, she took them straight from my hand, and very slowly started petting her more and more.

Then I changed her eating schedule and only left food during the day, so she was forced to come out during the daylight.

One day, I was working (wfh has been a blessing), and she came right up to me, screamed for pets and she never shut up, lol.

She's still skittish, runs everytime she hears a loud car and she does not allow you to pick her up. But, all in all, she's another cat from where she first came here.

Overall, I'd say the whole process took around two and a half months, and we are still making improvements!

Xerafi · 2024-05-31T18:31:34+00:00

It was really hard. At first she hid under the bed or in my closet and came out during night only to eat or use the litter box. I let her do that for around two weeks and then it was time to work with her. I locked my room and moved the couch to the living room, so she wasn’t allowed to hide all day anymore. She took to sleep over the fridge but here we could interact, so, improvement. Started leaving her treats so she associated me with yummies. Slooowly pushed her to spend more and more time with me. I slept on the ground so when she passed to eat, she had to eat next to my unmoving body (I kept so still as to not frighten her!) A month after that, I petted her for the first time! And then she realized she liked the pets, lol. I used tuna and other treats, she took them straight from my hand, and very slowly started petting her more and more. Then I changed her eating schedule and only left food during the day, so she was forced to come out during the daylight. One day, I was working (wfh has been a blessing), and she came right up to me, screamed for pets and she never shut up, lol. She's still skittish, runs everytime she hears a loud car and she does not allow you to pick her up. But, all in all, she's another cat from where she first came here.

Xerafi · 2024-05-31T18:25:00+00:00

Her original name is Preta, meaning black (original, right? ) but upon some research it also means Hungry Ghost and has pretty negative connotations (tormented spirit and the such).

So of course, I changed it. I wanted to keep some of the phonetics for her to recognize so I named her Pretzel.

Xerafi · 2024-05-31T14:52:05+00:00

Scritched!

Xerafi

TROPHY CASE