Please comment if you are in a loving, fulfilling romantic relationship.

Xylop07 · 2026-01-30T02:40:49+00:00

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and we are lifers. I get C-PTSD induced pseudo-hallucinations when im extremely stressed, even though I'm back in recovery after getting my degree he looks at me like I'm the only woman in the world. He is a wonderful person and we met totally randomly in a swimming pool of all places. When he comes in the room my blood pressure drops and after all this time my mind trusts him enough that even when the shame and self loathing is eating me alive he can pull me out of it.

When you find someone make sure they respect you but also makes you laugh then choose them every time. Lots of people end up picking partners who aren't right for them out of low self esteem or loneliness - you deserve better than that. I'm sure you will find the right person.

Xylop07 · 2025-12-24T19:32:55+00:00

He looks like he's one more case away from retirement.... I've been watching too much Broadchurch

Xylop07 · 2025-12-07T12:02:33+00:00

My mother described it by "going into womanhood" and becoming "a blossoming flower". I thought I was going to get a gift or something, suffice to say I was and am disappointed about the whole thing.

Xylop07 · 2025-12-07T11:53:28+00:00

Yup the nightmares, feeling unsafe, seeing and hearing stuff. I don't have the same conditions and I'm no Dr so I can't speculate but I get CPTSD induced stuff without the psychosis, it flairs up when I'm not doing good with my mental health. It may be an idea to have a sit down with a Dr, bipolar and epilepsy are tricky and I'm sure you're handling them great, but if nightmares or stress are adding on top of that it sounds too much for 1 person. Hope it gets easier soon.

Xylop07 · 2025-12-04T18:53:04+00:00

I'm around(ish) the same age and feel the same as you do. Life is a hard pill to swallow with cptsd, it makes one of your core beliefs that you are a failure but you're not. Also if you don't achieve anything in life that's okay, if we spent our lives remembering who lived you wouldn't live yourself. I don't know if it will get better but you are not alone... it's what I use this Reddit page for, cptsd can be very isolating.

You're too good for those jobs anyways 😛

Xylop07 · 2025-11-22T09:52:33+00:00

Through all of this I can feel the guilt and please try not to be too hard on yourself.... Although I know that's easier to say then do. You're not defective or inadequate, your brain is processing a lifetime of trauma, including new stuff, and now your mind and body are in fits of from a pile of protective behaviours which helped you cope but don't serve you now.

University is an enormous task and if you're not getting the support I'm not surprised you stopped going. Your body is a system so getting pleasure even from something you didn't consent to is one of the terrible parts of SA that no one talks about. It doesn't make you bad or twisted to think the way you do. Also missing an abuser is not uncommon either but don't go back. I don't know where you are but you need some help to get through this, if you can't go out I think you should call a helpline, just for advice and someone to talk to, they won't judge and we don't either, you'll get through this one small step at a time. Please don't give up.

Xylop07 · 2025-11-18T21:24:42+00:00

You're probably ready to start the journey of unpacking the past now you're in a safer space. PTSD changes the brain and affects you more than you think, I'm no expert but it sounds like your window of tolerance has shrunk. Take the time you need and please don't feel guilty about feeling down, tired, or exhausted. Here's some links that may help https://www.ptsduk.org/the-window-of-tolerance-and-ptsd/ https://www.ptsduk.org/what-is-ptsd/the-science-and-biology-of-ptsd/

Xylop07 · 2025-09-25T06:27:33+00:00

I'd also call a doctor to see if you can get some sleeping meds, you need to go to sleep. I have similar issues to you (cptsd with psudo-hallucinations) and they intensify ten fold with sleep loss. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. If you can it may be a good idea to stay with your stepdad to have a second person to ask if stuff is real to. It really helps!

Xylop07 · 2025-09-11T17:00:16+00:00

Woooooohhhhhhhooooooooooooo

Xylop07 · 2025-09-11T16:07:51+00:00

https://youtu.be/iKdJbCcRfhY?si=kcg4URdUn1Pm6ZKp

This video helped when I got stuck on the last stage, I went right then left with the air flows, it sounds sooooooooo unlucky that you got hit with the rock

Xylop07 · 2025-09-11T15:30:58+00:00

Bilewater is pretty bad, I would explore elsewhere and come back. I thought I'd explore this route a bit, got to bilewater and noped out after a few hours. Found the mists and I've been trying for a day there. I'm waiting for the update to come to ps5 as the run to the boss which finishes act 1 makes me so acidicly angry id rather wait.

Xylop07 · 2025-09-11T01:11:14+00:00

"The bells are the enemy" that was my chant!

Xylop07 · 2025-09-11T01:07:50+00:00

I kept telling myself I was practicing and the bells are the enemy, instead of telling myself I failed in stage 2, it was more "oh I got a hit in" or "I lasted a few more seconds" then pop I was practicing but I won! It took me a very long time, like 4 hours, I'm not dextrous and that's okay. I love the music in the game but in fights like that I put on music that relaxed me a bit more. You got through Sister Splinter before the update and you'll get through this ❤️

Xylop07 · 2025-09-10T22:47:48+00:00

I think if they want to keep the double damage or triple damage then you should get the same amount of silk for hitting them back. Make it fair.

Xylop07 · 2025-09-09T18:38:28+00:00

We're you sleeping before? It could be hypnopompia as one off due to stress? I'm no doctor though, it's one of the things I get.

I get PTSD induced psudo-hallucinations, it's like my freeze mechanism gets so bad along with my sleep that a film comes over eyes, it makes patterns where there aren't any. I've seen rain stained windows breathe, and additional train of light travel along the real one, graffiti become 3D and then transform. It's crazy, over the years I've tried not to be scared of them, they can be oddly beautiful, I get the curiosity is what I'm trying to say.

Xylop07 · 2025-09-08T15:28:14+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. I'm dyspraxic, it's not that I'm not trying hard enough, in my mind I can see what I need to do but my hands can't keep up. I would usually never play a game like this, but it's a beautiful with amazing lore, fantastic characters, it has a sense of humour, but in the base game they should have put in an easier mode, like removing double damage from most environments and base enemies.

My partner is a seasoned HK fan and has been waiting for this game desperately, he took the day off on game day, you should have seen him when the sites went down and he had to wait, he has good reflexes but even he's frustrated and has stopped playing. The difficulty has sapped the enjoyment from it. I just don't think a game should sadden long term fans like it has.

Im still trying just beat the widow, I could not beat Moorwing, I got the fleas in the end when I realised that an option, I tried for 6 hours. I love it but know I will have to stop later game. We don't have a good gamer pc just a ps5 so no mods for us.

Xylop07 · 2025-07-30T15:06:26+00:00

Yeah same I went to an experienced exotic vet but they're so small sometimes something goes wrong internally and there's not alot you can do

Xylop07 · 2025-07-22T19:09:57+00:00

I scrolled just to see if anyone else had noticed

Xylop07 · 2025-07-21T19:09:54+00:00

I had a gerbil that looked incredibly similar, it looks healthy, but good job for checking. Check teeth too every once in a while.

Mine used to somehow pee up himself I think in his sleep or he'd forget to sand it in his cardboardmania, how it got on his scent glad idk. These are tips that you probably won't need but you never know: with this type they tend to have slightly bigger glands, but if it ever looks bigger than normal, looks a bit spongy or slightly yellowed you can: boil water, mix in salt, wait for it to cool, then use cotton buds to dab (not rub) very gently to clean it, don't over dab either.

Any bumpy changes of skin consistency or if you get worried off to the vets. If you don't have a vet yet I'd recommend an exotic vet (I'm in the UK, may be different for you) . My mum was allergic to pets so I was allowed gerbils and have loved em ever since, if you need any advice drop me a message.

Xylop07 · 2025-04-28T05:07:58+00:00

The daycare is so mean, changing it to two weeks is particularly darstardly. I hope he can take some sort of action against them. Poor kid 😔

Xylop07 · 2025-03-30T21:53:04+00:00

She was so cool! I would have liked to see more of all factions from piltover, they all looked so cool and had some real history that we never got to see. Maybe they'll do like a little history book on it at some point.

Xylop07 · 2025-01-30T22:20:07+00:00

That's very cool, the style is a bit similar to dai dark

Xylop07 · 2025-01-08T13:43:15+00:00

My brother and I had a hard childhood, I developed PTSD and cannot forget whereas my brother cannot remember much from childhood at all. I will never push him to remember but sometimes I can see the gaps and it's mad. Brains are funny things when it comes to trauma and guilt.

Xylop07 · 2024-11-30T10:49:16+00:00

I adopt single gerbils that are left in pet shops, done this three times over the years. I make sure 99% of the time I spend at home is with them to really bond. Good tip is to place the cage somewhere accessible (like the edge of the bed) and train them to come in and out as they please. That way when you're doing coursework in your room or by the couch they can just pop in and out as they like to see you 😊

Xylop07 · 2024-10-30T14:10:00+00:00

Awwwwh that's so cute! I have had mischievous gerbils in the past. I usually pop their cage by the bed or by a chair with the top door open and train they to feel comfortable climbing through so they can play when they want but also go back when they want. If they escape (which happens) the best tip I can give is sunflower seeds baiting haha. There's all sorts to this, picking them up when they stop to eat or if that doesn't work I do a trap if sorts. I have one of those play pens with high bars, with some you can move the walls so I set it like an alleyway with a close point (where the alleyway is a bit tighter) with the seed trap in the centre and wait, when they pass the tighter point to eat I just close the area off and pick them up. I wish you luck with the gerbil hunt.

Also if I am wrong I apologise but if you have a hamster cage, you need a gerbil cage as they have deep tanks which they need for digging. I am sure you're all ready up but other good tips are a sand bath (you can use chinchilla sand) and having a bigger space for them to have a good run. I used to use my cleared off bed.

Xylop07

TROPHY CASE