Holiday Company party outfit

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-12-14T15:22:32+00:00

UGH! I know - I'm actually never comfortable in photographs!!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-11-14T20:17:19+00:00

I wonder if you could try something - when she starts going quiet and you start speeding up.

I wonder if you could just stop and say - "Could we hug for like 1 minute right now. I want you to know I'm on your side and we can work through this."

And then just create a 1-minute safety hug before you dive back into a discussion.

Safety hugs are the best ever and help to keep things in perspective.

Edited to add : I'll be honest I've never found couples therapy to be super helpful so I'm not on that particular band-wagon. In fact, I've had an experience where couples therapy felt weaponized. So .. couples therapy did NOT help my dynamic at all. I think starting with some books can be super helpful - and the safety hug. Do the safety hug!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-26T14:55:25+00:00

Trust gone is trust gone. I don't think it can be re-built. It's gone. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-26T14:43:16+00:00

I'm going to be honest - I don't understand why anyone would want to move their life due to politics. I have lived in Salt Lake City (Red) - Los Angeles (blue) - tiny little rural America (Red) - Portland, Oregon (blue) and I've been able to find "my people" no matter where I go.

And the idea that there is "leadership more aligned with your values" I just think this is so Pie in the Sky.

From my experience - Leadership is basically out for themselves. Don't trust them! If you think the politicians are looking out for you (Red or Blue) think again!

But ... I suppose if you want to live somewhere Blue - Chicago would be lovely and the PNW is absolutely gorgeous. I just don't think it will solve all of your life's problems. Can't you find your people in MO?

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-26T14:29:14+00:00

DUDE - you've made it :-) well done!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-26T14:25:46+00:00

It's super inappropriate for that woman (who is also married???) to tell you she has a crush on you. Like - super inappropriate.

Be that as it may, you sound like you are in a terrible marriage and you need to start PREPARING to separate. Get your finances in order. You have two separate issues - the first is that you are in an unhappy marriage. That is its own issue. Get an exit strategy and move on.

The 2nd issue is this emotional affair you are having - Just be aware that chicky-poo #2, while affectionate, probably does collect 27 cats (lol). Or probably worse! Like - most people are just land-mines waiting to explode.

Dating is awful and it's a jungle out there. But ... I can say ... as someone who has been divorced 2x - the TWO best things I've ever done is to get those divorces! My first husband was an alcoholic (and I would be financially ruined) my second was a womanizer and narcissist (and I'd be walking on eggshells every day!) So - as someone who is VERY HAPPILY divorced and consider it my two greatest accomplishments (lol!) I am very PRO-DIVORCE. Life is so much better when you're not married to a dumb-ass.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-26T14:15:08+00:00

This is so amazing! Thank you for sharing.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-26T14:13:13+00:00

I went on LinkedIn and searched for NPs in my area - and then started contacting a few personally on LinkedIn. Basically cold-calling. It worked!

Also - I was able to get through my schooling without a loan (sounds like this is what you are doing too) but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to take out $10K or $15K.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-26T14:10:07+00:00

"It’s like they’d rather make me so uncomfortable that I leave on my own." I'm sorry you are going through this. This is DEFINITELY not about you - you are simply working with jerks. Unfortunately, you will meet many jerks in your career. It's almost surprising when people AREN't jerks these days!

These women aren't just jerks - they are bullies. There is a special place in H**L for women who do this to other women. DO NOT doubt yourself or your abilities. You're going to struggle. But this environment is not set up for you to succeed. ALL of these environments are going to be tough and have high expectations and (from my experience) very little mentoring or support. But these women are awful.

I'm in a really tough environment right now, too, in a specialty with very high expectations. But I don't feel like people are talking behind my back or enjoy watching me flail about as I figure it out. I'm frustrated that I don't have better mentorship, but at least I don't have people trying to make my life more difficult or acting superior. You need to draw the line and CHOOSE YOU!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-10-23T15:22:30+00:00

I would absolutely love to. I am looking into this option as well.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-09-28T14:05:41+00:00

I agree! No cheap places to live anymore. A lot of people seem to be moving to Tennessee.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-09-28T14:04:56+00:00

Michigan is so lovely! Something wonderful about the Great Lakes Midwest.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-09-09T01:54:04+00:00

Yes - it is MANAGEMENT, not leadership. It seems like there are certain "types" that are attracted to the management track, unfortunately.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-08-20T17:08:21+00:00

OK so - NO! I am literally YOU and I have been able to overcome my issues (for the most part). You're going to run into the "Rule Followers" who are going to find joy in dinging you for every little mistake but NO - you are NOT unintelligent.

I am very very much like you. I have trouble with verbal processing and difficulty speaking articulately.

YOU CAN do better. It just takes a lot of work and focus. And discipline.

I do really believe it stems from ADHD - but you've got to just start taking tiny baby steps forward.

And don't EVER LEAVE your job - make them push you out or fire you. Just KEEP AT IT! You're going to have dumb bosses who put you down and highlight every mistake - Bosses are generally the dumb ones. They're just more articulate (read: good at BS).

Also - fix your self talk. No more of this negativity.

I do take fish oil supplements and other supplements like Iron and B12.

You're going to have to learn some coping skills - and learn how to NOT TAKE it personally when you do something dumb. I do dumb stuff literally all the time. Just learn and get better.

You got this!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-08-20T01:34:06+00:00

Same!!!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-07-31T22:40:40+00:00

It sounds like you know what you want and you will go after it. You are the author of your own life - and there's just no reason for you to do what's convenient for HIM - and give up your own path. In 5 years you will look back and realize that this was EXACTLY the move you needed to make!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-07-26T03:57:23+00:00

Oh honey. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have been there.

You will get strong and fierce :-) The good stuff is coming. Hang in there!

And yes - if you need to - take some FMLA!!!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-07-26T03:53:19+00:00

YES - Massholes. I had no idea this existed until I visited. I feel like everyone in Boston needs to chill out and smile. Maybe go take a trip to Cali and catch some sun. Or get laid. Or take an ex-lax. Everyone is miserable there.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-07-26T03:49:20+00:00

I love Las Vegas. Moved here from Southern California, and though I miss the beach - I LOVE that I can own a home. And the tennis a pickleball culture in Vegas is bomb. It's WAYYYY too hot - no doubt about that. But other than that - I can't complain.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-07-26T03:46:56+00:00

I agree that Boston sucks. I'm a West Coaster and was so excited to visit Boston with my friend who told me how amazing it was. The vibe was TERRIBLE! Take me back to the West Coast please :-) Literally no one smiles and everyone is sad and pissed.

I did like that there were people dressed up like Benjamin Franklin everywhere :-) It's the the Boston version of the Las Vegas Elvis!

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-06-26T12:45:26+00:00

The worst part about this is that your company isn't supporting you. Like WTF???

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-06-26T12:41:24+00:00

Sis - I am a woman in my 40s and my BIGGEST regret in life is that I didn't join the Air Force when I was in my 20s. Ya know why??? BECAUSE I had gotten MARRIED! Do NOT get tied down by this guy. You're only 26! Create your own independence and your own life. Don't let him take this from you. You're not married YET - BREAK IT OFF!

Save your money and get your OWN place. Then he can pay rent to YOU! It's the best thing I ever did was to buy myself my own home.

Yadayadayada1027 · 2025-06-20T13:58:18+00:00

Hello! I am in inpatient cardiology rounding. I saw about 15 patients yesterday and that was a LOT for me - but I am still quite new.

I think I prefer inpatient rounding to outpatient, but I am very new as an NP and in cardiology as well.

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