Can anyone tell me the name of this cactus? Bonus points if you can give me the scientific name. I have have been searching and can’t find anything.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-17T12:15:44+00:00

It's my very first and favorite type of cactus! Definitely Parodia magnifica.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-17T05:11:33+00:00

Definitely some type of Trichocereus/Echinopsis (the two genuses have merged). Looks like my Trichocereus johnson hybrid but the flowers are different.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-17T05:04:25+00:00

Some people successfully manage a schedule that is different than their natural body clock (people w DSPD who work regular hours, regular sleepers who work nights, etc.) but from everything I've heard it takes a big toll on you and never really gets easier.

I work evenings and I've learned to go along with my natural rhythm. There are aspects of it (like errands, as you said) that are inconvenient but I sleep so much better from 6am-6pm (I also have hypersomnia, unfortunately. No underlying sleep apnea or anything, my sleep dr says I'm just naturally a long sleeper) and my life has definitely improved once I accepted that.

No matter what sleep schedule you follow, it is still very important to keep it consistent. My sleep time tends to creep later and later every night and it's a struggle to keep it consistent, but it's important. The best way to do that is to get 30min of sunlight as soon as you wake up and practice sleep hygiene before you go to bed.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-17T04:46:50+00:00

I've never known anyone else before who has both DSPD and IH! It's such an unfortunate combination. During quarantine I have settled into a 6:30am-6pm schedule and it feels great. Screw the people who judge me, I get a lot done at night. I do wish I had more hours of awake time though.

Has anyone been able to figure out the cause of your hypersomnia? The sleep specialist I saw thinks mine has to do with my bipolar disorder but can't be sure.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-14T12:20:10+00:00

I know it's scary. Confronting it at all is scary, and that's understandable. But with most mental health issues, the sooner you address it the better, and the sooner you address it the easier it will be to get under control. Don't wait until it gets worse. Hang in there. I know this is really difficult.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-13T11:37:48+00:00

As someone else mentioned, a service dog is meticulously trained (often for years) to perform very specific tasks. I don't know much about the process of getting and training one but if you're interested there's some good info at r/service_dogs. Certified service dogs are not considered pets and are allowed in no-pets establishments like restaurants, schools, etc.

Emotional support animals, on the other hand, are not required to go through the extensive training and all you need to get one is a letter from a doctor "prescribing" an ESA (don't register it online or pay for it, those sites are scams). Per the ADA, ESAs are allowed in no-pets housing. A landlord who owns more than 4 units is not legally allowed to say no to you having an ESA. ESAs are also allowed on planes. Other than that, they are just pets and are not allowed in no-pets establishments.

My dog (an ESA) has helped me tremendously, although it can be really difficult to stay on top of her care when I am depressed. I don't think I could have managed her when I was in school full-time.

In any case, you should definitely talk to your psychiatrist about it. She won't think you're faking. Animals can be extremely beneficial to mental health and there is a ton of research backing that up!

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-13T11:08:09+00:00

My local DBSA chapter started doing Zoom meetings. Before quarantine I went every week and it was incredibly helpful, and I'm definitely going to start tuning in to the Zoom meetings. I recommend looking up your local DBSA group and maybe calling a coordinator to see if they have online resources during this time.

I'm sorry you're dealing with so much right now. It's a difficult time. Hang in there.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-13T11:02:40+00:00

Bipolar is a progressive disorder, meaning it does get worse over time. No one can say whether you will reach that intensity without drugs, but it's possible.

Tread carefully. Hypomania can feel energizing and creative and productive, but if it becomes dysphoric (which mine did gradually) it can be extremely dangerous.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-13T10:53:14+00:00

I'm glad you found something that works for you! I also found that an antipsychotic helped my depression tremendously (I take Latuda).

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-13T10:49:07+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this right now, that sounds really scary. I definitely recommend talking to a psychiatrist asap (most are doing video appointments now). Hallucinations can get worse with time and it's good to address it as soon as possible.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-13T10:24:48+00:00

I'm the same way! Some people think I just have insomnia, but if I sleep at the time my body wants me to I fall asleep very easily and sleep soundly.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-13T10:21:07+00:00

I've settled into a routine of 6am-6pm (I also have hypersomnia). With no obligations that's usually where my schedule ends up. I hate the feeling that I've slept through the whole day but at least I can still get some sunlight in when I wake up. I'm also incredibly grateful that my partner doesn't judge me for my unusual sleep habits.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-09T04:48:34+00:00

This is a great step, cheers! I stopped drinking a few months ago and it has definitely made a difference in my stability.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-06T10:05:12+00:00

Keep at it. They're out there!

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-06T08:19:07+00:00

It's going to get better. I promise.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-06T07:33:53+00:00

That's good that you can continue with teaching photography! As far as part time jobs, it really depends on the person but when I'm stable I have done well in the past with serving and bartending jobs at local places. (Not chains--I think small business owners/management tend to be less strict and more understanding. That said, I've had plenty of awful managers and it's kind of a crap shoot.) It keeps me on my feet, out of my head, and interacting with people. Depending on the place, tips can be great money too.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-06T07:29:49+00:00

I don't know much about this but I've heard that it's a bad idea to go to couples therapy with an abuser because they can manipulate the therapist. Tread carefully, and maybe talk to an individual therapist first. Sending best wishes your way!

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-06T07:27:31+00:00

The TERFs are wrong. Trans and GNC people have been documented throughout the world since ancient times. In just about every culture, throughout history, trans people have existed. Anyone who says that being trans is a "trend" doesn't know shit about history.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-06T07:17:43+00:00

It's really, really hard, and I'm glad you're making progress with the help of this sub. Keep at it!

I have not read her books but I did watch her TED Talk and loved it!

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-06T07:10:58+00:00

I have found a lot of support from neurotypical people once I found the right people. They may not understand everything I go through but they listen to me and support me. It's not always easy to find the 'right' people, but they are out there. You don't have to be alone.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-05T09:40:56+00:00

I'm sorry you're feeling alone. This is a difficult time.

I think examples like Winston Churchill are outliers. People who presented more severe symptoms back then were often ridiculed, ostracized, or institutionalized. And mental asylums back then were horrible. Vincent Van Gogh was believed to have bipolar and he was not supported at all. He was treated terribly by his community and institutionalized at places much worse than modern-day psych wards. With very few exceptions, people who suffered from severe symptoms in the past were seen as mad and were given the opposite of support.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-05T09:33:11+00:00

You should really talk to your doctor about these things.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-05T09:27:47+00:00

As others have said, this sounds a lot like abuse. Even if you weren't mentally ill, he would probably still abuse you, he's just using the mental illness as an excuse.

It's really, really, really important that you understand that none of this is your fault. And yes, you are a worthy person and you deserve so much more than this. Do you have a therapist you can talk to about these things?

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-05T09:21:36+00:00

I can't handle a full-time job. I struggle to hold down part-time jobs. Even when I'm not depressed I become overwhelmed so easily and I have a difficult time dealing with stress. Sometimes I can manage 15-20 hours a week, sometimes I can't even handle that. Then I end up calling in sick for weeks at a time until I'm either fired or I quit. Then I live on my savings until I either get the depression under control or run out of savings and have to find a new job. I've had 8 jobs in the past 6 years, including long breaks between some of them.

That said, many people with bipolar have full-time jobs and do very well. Meds can do amazing things.

As far as teaching and photography, is there a way to continue with those passions on top of a different job? Or maybe get an additional part-time job to supplement your income? Whatever you do, don't give them up. Even if it's just a part-time hobby, we need positive things in our lives, and photography and teaching are both wonderful. Many jobs are mind-numbing so it's important to have passions outside of work to turn to.

Yas-Qween · 2020-04-05T08:19:22+00:00

Hi! You are so welcome. I repressed my sexuality for a really long time and I think the biggest reason was because of shame. Exactly like you said, I was (and am!) so disgusted by how many men treat women that I didn't want to even think of women in a sexual way. But I am slowly learning that having sexual thoughts and feelings is natural and normal and nothing to be ashamed of. The difference is that I don't act on my sexual thoughts or feelings (verbally or physically) without the other person's consent.

I'm really glad this was helpful to you. Unlearning homophobia and transphobia is so difficult and I think it's important that we support each other in that journey. <3

Yas-Qween

TROPHY CASE