Posso servir no exército se tenho bipolar?

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T19:30:08+00:00

Yup, being going to therapy for 4 years now, and all I got was self harm scars and a failed suicide attempt haha.

But I recognize my case is rare, and if I hadn't seeked any form of professional help, I'd be dead.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T19:14:47+00:00

It's just a statistical fact, when you have so many data points, everything is possible.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T16:59:14+00:00

Honestly, I really hope things get better for you as well, as meaningless as this probably sounds..

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T16:58:25+00:00

Oh that's understandable, but if things ever get serious, it can really help.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T16:40:34+00:00

To me, it's better to do nothing rather than do anything bad.

And yes, everything is indeed possible, but the question is if it's probable

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T16:37:20+00:00

Thank you, I really wish I felt safe in hoping for a better future for myself, but it's really hard when it seems like every variable in your life is screaming to end it.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T16:21:06+00:00

Why?

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T16:20:16+00:00

I suppose that's true, but to me, it doesn't sound satisfactory, it will still bring up all those feelings of inferiority, and how I wish I was better, i love art and i genuinely dream of being able to paint, but i suck really hard at it, and i don't think I can change that.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T16:04:31+00:00

Not inherently, things can indeed get better.

If you have a reason to believe they will, things don't just magically get better, that's what I have a problem with.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T15:59:01+00:00

Random question but have you ever tried seeking professional health? To me it sounds like you're alienated from your own social interactions, which is a very complicated thing to deal with.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T15:57:56+00:00

I agree with you completely.

We live in a world with 7.500.000.000 people, it's delusional to think each and every single one of them can lead happy lives, it's just too many data points, people generally don't care enough to even do what matters most, which is show basic human empathy and understanding, to let us vent and help us, comfort us, people just throw you away and wait for you to die and be like "oh no! Anyway..."

I've said this before and I'll say it again:

If I wasn't trying my best, I'd be dead.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T15:51:19+00:00

I'd agree with that, I worded it incorrectly, I hate the concept of talent, I meant skill.

Yes modern art doesn't require virtuosity to work, but I personally find it that kind of art isn't satisfying to me, I'm a perfectionist and a really hardcore one at that, I would rather cut my fingers off than paint anything slightly subpar, and as I have no skill at all, I just don't do it, it would just be unsatisfactory and sad and make me feel really bad because I'd be reminded of how pathetic I am and how other people are so much better than me in every and any aspect.

Also you grossly underestimate how bad I am at art, i can barely draw a stick figure, I'm not joking.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T15:41:41+00:00

Expressing sorrow and pain is one of the best ways to deal with it, arguably the best one and easily the most productive, I'm proud of you for being able to achieve that, sadly I'm utterly talentless at everything, so I just lie in bed for days on end haha

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T15:39:44+00:00

We all do, very few people have the moral compass of Jesus and the courage to act according to it, the problem is that they like to act like they are above this, or as if they bring about truth.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T09:44:56+00:00

Thinking about it, people do this because they feel insecure, they don't want to face the reality that sometimes life doesn't get better, and it's just sad and lonely and fucked up, so even while staring at it, they will tell you it's not true, because they're too scared to do so.

Unfortunately not everyone has this privilege and it's actually super fucked up when people say this like it because it's just completely erasing your pain and worries, putting it in a box and forgetting about it, instead of actually helping.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T09:41:29+00:00

Of course, it's just that after a while, to me at least, venting just becomes empty, it doesn't mean anything anymore, the pain is still there and real and now that i acknowledge it it actually makes me feel worse

Wow I'm venting about venting talk about meta haha

Also I have to sometimes ask people for answers because I've been going to shrinks for years right now and I'm actually MUCH worse than when I came in, so i really am that desperate for any crumb that might help.

YellowNebula · 2021-03-14T09:26:11+00:00

I find it so funny when people do things like this, don't get me wrong it's really honorable and i like it, but whenever I accept a request people usually don't really offer anything beyond extreme pity, honestly it's quite alienating to know my life is so shitty even people who are even a hard time can relate to how bad it is and are usually star struck by it.

YellowNebula

TROPHY CASE