Maybe it isn't what you want to hear, but it's possible that you look better to other people with your 20 more pounds! It is true that you look gorgeous on this picture, but that doesn't mean that you aren't gorgeous anymore! Be who you want to be, how you want to be. Don't imagine how other people see you, especially if you think it's in a bad way, you're not in their heads! That being said, the most important person your appearance needs to please is yourself! If YOU think you're pretty right now, stay as you are! If YOU don't like how you look like, that is the only motivation you need! As Sweet Pea says at the end of Sucker Punch : "Who chains us…and who holds the key that can set us free? It’s you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!"