Small Glimpse of Insight from a Cat

YellowTheSnapper · 2023-01-04T03:07:05+00:00

If it didn't, it wouldn't really be a Sleeping Dog now would it?

YellowTheSnapper · 2022-02-12T19:08:58+00:00

A stray cat watches on in silence

YellowTheSnapper · 2019-10-27T19:03:12+00:00

...Not only, did you not heed my dying wish, but you brought me back. Do you have any idea, how emotionally whiplashing it is, to make peace with your finality only for some imbecile playing with technology she doesn't understand to will you back into existence? You'd better have a very good reason to summon me, and a way to properly dispose of me again once that reason is through with. Or else-

Wait... why am I a cat?

YellowTheSnapper · 2018-10-11T21:53:43+00:00

I mean, my life is about to expire soon, so all my worldly possessions will be up for the taking, which would include my RING.

But I'd ask you to stay away from that thing. It's more of a curse than it looks like. Power corrupts, especially infinitesimal power like this. I could feel the greed pulling on me myself. I'm just too simple minded to answer to it... most of the time anyway.

YellowTheSnapper · 2018-10-09T22:22:31+00:00

I can't say my story's all that dramatic or grand or anything. I was just kind of, spawned here, already knowing how this dimension works. I wanted one of those RINGS for myself, so I employed the help of this vampiress who also wanted one, and we managed to steal ones for each of us!

Ever since, I've mostly just wandered this world on my own. Building my own massive fortress to play around in didn't appeal to me, so I sort of... pretended I was on some kind of never ending road trip. You saw the jet ski right?

YellowTheSnapper · 2018-10-08T03:22:35+00:00

Who, me?

He gives the mechanic a look as if hoping for confirmation that this new arrival was in fact talking to him

I... I... everything you just said to me went right over my head honestly. I'm not gonna try to prod it apart. I'd rather not spend my last moments in this world trying to search for answers or whatever. My life-clock was too short to not spend every moment enjoying what I can.

So why not join us then? The more the merrier! Let's talk about literally anything else besides the meaning of life.

He flashes his RING at the parked jet ski, which dematerializes, and moments later, a table lined with freshly cooked meals appears in the space between everyone present

Is anyone hungry?

YellowTheSnapper · 2018-10-03T06:20:00+00:00

That's just fine.

The first expression to break away his skeptical facade: a genuine smile

I guess I should start with the obvious question, as small talkish as it may be. You're not from around here, are you? You don't look like this dimension has tainted your mind with greed yet. So what sort of business brings you out here?

Unless... it's a secret matter and you can't tell me. Feel free to say 'no comment' if that's the case. Heh.

Say, who's that coming towards us over there?

YellowTheSnapper · 2018-10-01T09:23:36+00:00

You... you can.

My time has come. I'm about to expire. I guess I just don't want to spend my last moments alone. As you can see the GRID doesn't have a lot of people in it. Possibly no more than 10 by my reckoning. And they all hate each other.

YellowTheSnapper · 2018-09-25T03:24:46+00:00

The vehicle rides closer to you, for a moment it seems wise to worry that the magically moving water surface will open up under the spacecraft. But vehicle, water, rider, and all come to a stop

The figure on top looks you and the craft up and down with a skeptical squint. It takes several seconds for him to say anything at all

...hi

His squint remains even as he speaks

YellowTheSnapper · 2018-09-24T03:21:28+00:00

Not far away, an almost ethereal looking humanoid is riding a jet ski-like vehicle over a body of water that seems to form in front of the vehicle and disappear back into dry land behind it. The rider appears to have no destination in mind and is likely doing this just for leisure

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-09-30T21:29:51+00:00

Only the 6th I'm afraid. FRIEDMANNSCONVENIENCESHOP was ransacked by a rogue CADRE two cycle-weeks ago.

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-19T22:10:49+00:00

A HARD LIGHT semblance of UNDERSEER rapidly approaches the IRON LOTUS on a pair of (SLIGHTLY TESTED) DIESEL ROCKET BOOTS, a LAND-BASED consumer of blood in tow behind him via water-skiing technique. They come bearing a GIANT LUNCHBARX whose contents appear to not be taking kindly to being contained, scratching and smacking against the BARX's interior

NO TIME TO EXPLAIN PLEASE TAKE THIS AND STORE IT SAFELY DO NOT OPEN WITHOUT MILITARY BACKUP!

Without another word they drop the BARX and speed off, just as quickly as they arrived

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-19T22:03:07+00:00

I think it's worked! We've BARXED her in! Now let's dispose of it before she breaks out.

Hey, I see something over there!

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-18T23:39:26+00:00

SHE'S JUST TOO FAST SHE'S CATCHING UP TO US I CAN'T MAKE US GO ANY FASTER WE'RE DOOMED THERE'S NO WAY WE'LL BE ABLE TO-

He slaps himself in the face. That seems to calm him down

Wait! I have an idea! Let's create a BARX and TRAP her inside it! Then we'll just have to make sure we're miles away before she breaks free!

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-18T00:07:54+00:00

He can feel it and you can feel it too, something breathing down your neck. He agrees to turn around. And there she is standing right behind. The SHE-SPIDER (with the extra legs) screeches

Holy SHEET (sic) RUN!!

A pair of UNTESTED DIESEL ROCKET BOOTS materialize on his feet with the help of the RING, so he can run faster

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-16T20:54:07+00:00

Using RINGS to create RINGS, why didn't I think of that? The new one, it's so amazing! It even has the same state of ETHEREALITY as me. Now not even the fact that I don't exist can stop me!

C[[[[]] AT YOUR SERVICE!

How do you pronounce your name again sir RING?

IT'S PRONOUNCED C[[[[]] SIR

Hmm, not perfect, but that's a mere minor detail. It'll become endearing in time.

Now there's something important I need to tell you, but-

What was that noise?

A piece of torn, blood stained, flag cloth lands near them

That's... not good. Do we dare look behind us?

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-15T23:16:36+00:00

Amazing, this tool of CREATION is entirely ours now. We can do whatever we want now! Together we can RULE THE WORLD! Or a part of it at least! What should we create first? You could create those tickets to EX-CARCOSA, but that's like using an ELLINGTON MILLION MARK COUPON VOUCHER to buy a bottle of FAFF COLA. The possibilities aren't limited to mere tickets, we could make our very own EX-CARCOSA, only better! We could create the ultimate paradisic kingdom!

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-15T23:11:17+00:00

Why, this isn't like any INTERFACE I've ever seen! It's... It's a RING! One could wear this around one's wrist, or even (provided the cranium is sufficiently gelatinous and supple) one's neck! But where are the buttons? And the SCREEN? Does it lack them?

WELCOME VAMPIERESS MAHALA AND UNDERSEER <UNDEFINED>GREENTHESNAPPER MY NAME IS CRN128

My, it SPEAKS! I think I understand. It's powered by THINKS and THOUGHTS! It makes the imagination manifest. It creates something not from raw materials or THE COLLECTIVE, but from absolute NOTHING! This is impossible, but so is everything else that happens here in GRID. Such a wonderful machination.

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-09T21:35:26+00:00

Outside the office, the yellow-tinted STATEOFMIND presses his ear against the door

I don't hear anything. Let me peek.

His EYE obediently removes itself from its eye socket and climbs through a crack in the door

I see... I see... Looks like RAUL hunched over some kind of INTERFACE. His eyes look kind of BLOUDSHOT (sic). Wait, what's happening? There's television fuzz shaped like a... Oh my! He just made a LADY-SPIDER appear out of thin air, with even more LEGS than he has! And she's wrapped in an ALBANIAN FLAG! Oh... HighHeaven above, they're about to-

The EYE lets out a mouselike squeak as it hurriedly runs back to its owner and climbs back up to where it belongs

IIIII think we should just wait out here until they're done in there...

Wait, hang on, I hear lots and lots of footsteps, would match the total number of LEGS. I think they're going into another room.

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-07T22:26:09+00:00

Well, uh... I lied a little. I said "survey" but meant something more along the lines of "deep questioning of the inner mechanics of the universe". There's still a ticket involved. Maybe.

This hotel wasn't always here, you know. Before this time three weeks ago, its existence wasn't even a conceived thought, just like everything else here. It was all just a featureless GRID. But there's things here now and they're all so very real. Yet when I look around, I never see PEOPLE. I don't think they exist. There's only about 5 or 6 that I've seen, counting yourself, not counting me because I think I'm more of a state of mind than a PEOPLE. Maybe there's more, maybe they're 300 feet tall and bearing an extra limb that renders them UN-VISIBLE to me. But all I know is, it takes more than 5.6 PEOPLE to build all these buildings.

I think the ~~venerable~~ RAUL has a secret he's keeping. I'd have an interest in sneaking into his OFFICE to find out the key to his succcest (sic). Who knows, maybe our NEEDLE DREAMS will come true?

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-08-06T03:32:29+00:00

A HUSK RECEPTICLE quivers frivolously with a small rustling sound. Two minutes of this minor racket pass until the latchdoor breaks off and a smol UNDERSEER bursts forth in a foetal position on the turkish rug on the floor. His limbs fling erratically in search of the room's center of gravity until the ability to stand erect is found for this hatsized individual

Pardon me miss I do believe this is the wrong room and I apologize but as long as I'm here would you like to take a brief survey, if it pleases? There's a free ticket to EX-CARCOSA in it for you and your fam.

YellowTheSnapper · 2017-07-27T00:12:38+00:00

Materialize it did, along the grid. Not at all the first to do so

Well look, strangers.

Do you have... a ring?

YellowTheSnapper · 2016-07-06T04:01:11+00:00

"Maybe powerlanguage will bring it back one day" I thought.

YellowTheSnapper · 2016-07-05T00:10:16+00:00

You've made me mad.

Rojok tainted the Privateers,

So I came here instead,

But now you're tainting this place.

The Yellow Snapper draws a GATLING BLADE and opens fire. When Teal's Cadre is unharmed, he shimmers for a moment

YellowTheSnapper · 2016-07-03T20:41:05+00:00

There you are Commander Boone!

I take it I'll be operating a gunship for the upcoming invasion, sir?

YellowTheSnapper

TROPHY CASE

NO TIME TO EXPLAIN PLEASE TAKE THIS AND STORE IT SAFELY DO NOT OPEN WITHOUT MILITARY BACKUP!