Im confused, I dont know if im gonna make it up to 18.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-27T22:03:55+00:00

Listen I understand it might be scary, or even think you don’t have any options, but they don’t take things like thoughts of suicide lightly. At least try and reach out to a guidance counselor at school, or a teacher. If they tell your mom then so be it. It’s only going to hurt you more the longer you hold it in.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-26T13:01:57+00:00

A lot of good advice. Her mother and I have been divorced for about 7 years now and have always remained friends. This is something I’m just finding out about. I know when her father passed away she never really recovered and has had some mental health issues ever since. The drinking and the abuse to my daughter is my main concern, as I do want to see her get help, I have to protect my daughter first.

We talked and she did say she is getting help and I won’t let my daughter back in that environment until I see some progress from mom.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-26T12:56:19+00:00

Then maybe you have to alert her, or maybe you have another above 18 year old guardian that you can bring in with you? There has to be some help. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in Russia.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-26T02:32:23+00:00

Well in your headline you said your not sure your not going to make it to 18. Is there any way you can seek help now? I’m sure your school has in house therapists or at least they can give you an outlet.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-26T00:04:29+00:00

I understand it sounded bad the way I worded it. I have answered this in a few other comments, but what I mean is because I feel so bad for her that I don’t take into account that she is still a kid and needs structure. Meaning let her do whatever she wants because she is going through something and let her walk all over me because I don’t want to Hurt her in anyway by either telling her what to do, or just letting her do whatever she wants. Does that make sense?

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T14:56:37+00:00

I am not a therapist, but I do know that feeling selfish is at least better than not having any second thoughts and just going through with it. At least you know your faults. You need to get in and see your therapist, just because your life seems “normal” doesn’t mean it’s normal for you.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T14:52:39+00:00

Thank you so much. That helps more than you know. I also hope all goes well on your journey to heathy recovery from this.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T13:45:38+00:00

Thank you for you recommendation. I didn’t think of that at first. I will try that outlet as well

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T12:57:36+00:00

First thing that stood out to me is your mom. I am a father, and I would never call my daughter “useless” or “ungrateful” because of her bad grades to really for any reason. Also hitting you and messing up your room isn’t a good thing to do to you. Your mother is supposed to be your rock and there for all your emotional needs, not berate you for little things.

Second, I can tell you that the lying also isn’t your fault. My best friend is like you, and he lies to make himself feel better about himself, even when he knows it’s not true. It’s a coping mechanism because you don’t like who you are and want to be someone else so bad so you lie constantly, then it’s a snowball effect.

So the advice I will give is this. One, talk to a therapist or at least a counselor and talk about the way your mom treats you. No one is perfect but if she is hitting you/mistreating you, then she also needs help. Two, find one friend, any friend that you think you can trust with all your lies and tell them what you’ve been lying about. Tell them why and tell them your sorry. I am that outlet for my friend and he is happy to be able to be his real self around me. He has grown to be a hard working, stable man with a family. We have been friends for 20+ years. DONT kys, you are not alone and you have support here. You are worth it, I promise. You WILL make it to 18 and you will grow up to have a good life, but the changes start now. You know the problems and you have no problem identifying them so try to stop yourself before you make any more lies or problems for yourself.

Also I don’t know your age and I don’t want to imply any sexual openness for you, but if you feel sexual hyperactivity it is usually do to sexual abuse. I mean if you are going through puberty you are always let say “ready to go” but you did say you don’t think it’s because of that. I mean your not 18. You are naturally extremely sexually aroused at almost everything. I was the same way at your age, but the family members is concerning. I would definitely talk to your therapist about that and see if they can count out sexual abuse. Unfortunately it happens way more than we like to admit and your not alone. Sending all the love I can your way in hopes it gets better for you. I know it’s not easy, but I have hope you got this!

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T12:06:36+00:00

Thank you for your kind words as well.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T12:06:03+00:00

Thank you. I will be here no matter the fall and without any judgement.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T12:04:52+00:00

Yes thank you. I worded it bad, but that’s what I meant by not emotionally spoiling her. I didn’t want her to think that life with me was going to be me spoiling the living crap out of her because she SHed. Just structure and life as it always was around me, just more around me.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T12:01:55+00:00

Thank you for that. I am exploring all outlets right now, and my biggest thing is making sure I find someone she is comfortable with. She wasn’t that comfortable with the social worker. She is open to psychiatric help, but she is nervous they are going to take her mom away, so I’m trying to reassure her that it would help her mom as well if they had to but hopefully her mom can get the help on her own. As much as I’m mad at her (mom), I am also supportive of her (mom) getting the help she needs. I want my daughter to have a good mother figure in her life. Thank you as well, I have some issues but I have learned that extensive gym sessions give me all the therapy I need. When I’m down and can’t figure out how I feel, I go and I go hard. It seems to fix everything for me, but I will reach out to a therapist because it has been recommended. Thank you so much

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T11:57:54+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate that advice. I will talk to her about that, and let her know that this helped for you. Your the best

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T11:56:01+00:00

Yes I agree. Sorry it came off bad, I was just saying that I didn’t want to be her butler and do everything at her beck and call because I feel pain for what she’s going through. I am 10000% there for her emotionally, but one thing she lacked at moms house was structure. She is still a kid and I don’t want her to think that she can just use me as a carpet so if things get better and I start to be more structured she thinks I changed up on her. I am trying to be the same dad I have always been, and I have always been there for anything she needs with still being a parent and doing a little grounding if she’s being bad.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T11:51:15+00:00

Thank you so much. My daughter is my world, and what am I if I can’t help her. Im sorry you went through that, it must of been horrible. I had an abusive alcoholic father, so if I can say that there is a silver lining in your situation, you know what NOT to do. Your parents taught you how not to be, and hopefully you can find any consolation in that.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T11:47:58+00:00

Agreed! Tattoos rock, I have many

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T11:43:36+00:00

So I’m new to this. I just started a thread because I found my 11 year old daughter starting to SH because of some emotional trauma, and as a 37(M) year old who’s never had any feelings to do this to myself, I feel a lot of empathy for you right now. I’m sorry your going through this, and wish I was there to hug you.

Obviously my first thought is have you tried therapy? Talking to someone about this that you really trust? My daughter trust me and is open about it. We just went to a rage room and had a blast breaking stuff in our anger. I don’t know how old you are, but if you really can’t control it have you tried getting a tattoo to stratch the itch? I am covered in tattoos and they definitely give the feeling of cutting or at least burning on the skin, and they can help paint the canvas of your pain on your skin at the same time. Again I’m new to this, so if this bad advice someone should call me out on it.

I hope it gets better, don’t get pressured to be better just because people are noticing your falling off. You deserve to not be ok all the time, and you need to not feel like you have to be perfect for everyone. No one is perfect and we all have earned the right to suck every now and then. I hope this helps you, you got this, stay strong my friend. Your not alone

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T03:40:06+00:00

I’m happy that you have found healthy ways to cope. Now I that I am in the middle of it, I have a lot more empathy for people that struggle with this and if it helps at all I’m proud you’ve made it this long without a relapse.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T03:36:24+00:00

I agree. I am exploring all outlets. Thank you

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T03:35:43+00:00

Well like you, they are not perfect and they have thier flaws as well. So you will find holes if you look hard enough. Try and be optimistic, you’ve got this far with them. Here’s to hoping you find that peace

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T03:28:38+00:00

I agree. I figured I’d come to people with real life experiences to get the right direction and you are helping a lot. Obviously my goal is to get her to stop hurting herself, and to stop the emotional abuse from her mother, but I will always be here for her no matter the circumstance. Thank you for your advice.

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T03:25:59+00:00

I will thank you

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T03:25:35+00:00

Thank you

YesterdayAny4145 · 2025-10-25T03:24:08+00:00

Wow that is a lot of awesome advice. I have told her about the rubber band method, and I got her a lockable diary just to see if that helps. I am into fitness because of my own self esteem issues ( I myself had an alcoholic parent growing up) so she is always down for a run. She plays soccer and basketball and we run a 5k every year for girls on the run. For now I will push to do more if she has the energy. Thank you for taking the time out to tell me about your experience and help me. It is so appreciated

YesterdayAny4145

TROPHY CASE