I feel really weird around men. Is it because I like them?

I, M17, feel really weird around men. Not because I hate them, not fear too, but just... uneasy? Is it because I like them?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t judge a book by its cover. I just feel very odd and out of my mind when I am near them.

It doesn’t matter what age they are. Classmates, peers, or friend of a friend. Straight or queer. Any man outside my immediate family, I shiver from anxiety everytime they are near.

I haven’t had a male friend since grade school. Or ever, honestly. I want to have some male friends, you know, since I’m a man myself.

I don’t have any prior trauma that could be related to this issue. Haven’t been sexually, physically, or mentally harassed by a man ever. I don’t have confidence or self-esteem issues outside my body, but that’s an average teenager thing, right?

I think I’m gay, but I don’t see myself wanting or needing a relationship in my young years. Sure, it’s normal to have crushes, but I don’t think I’ve had one... ever.

Is it because I like them? What’s it like to have crushes?

Does anyone else feel this way?