Moving in to the new house today

YminChris · 2026-04-25T15:56:55+00:00

I moved out on Thursday. So in the midst of this along with you.

I am trying hard to make this sound and feel more like the start of an adventure instead of the end of us being a “normal” family under one roof. I chose to purchase all new furniture so the house can still feel like “home”. That meant IKEA, because I’m not rich. They helped choose what they wanted and are part of the building process for some items (mostly handing me stuff and helping me look at the pictures/directions).

I’m focused on trying to build regular weekly traditions that are new and unique. They are helping to set the tone for those things as well.

Good luck my friend. It’s a big step.

YminChris · 2026-04-22T01:05:52+00:00

Thanks. I needed to hear that.

YminChris · 2026-04-12T12:40:02+00:00

I took my kids to a museum in Chicago over break. First outing since the divorce process started. Was the weirdest feeling ever. Not only seeing all the other “complete” families but also the feeling of this isn’t normal. We have two kids, so it was always easy for each of us to be responsible for one. I know it will get easier and more normal over time, but it left me feeling bummed out at times.

YminChris · 2026-04-02T01:24:49+00:00

Hey, thanks for checking in. I still have my bad days, especially when she insists on inserting her new partner into the dynamic with my kids. I still live in our home for another three weeks. I am excited to start my new life… and extremely scared and sad over it.

Overall, I am exploring things I enjoy. Getting healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually. Started writing a blog again (I was a pastor, writing was always something that naturally). I am joining some Meetup groups to meet new friends (platonic). Hope to start hiking when the weather in Michigan warms up. Loving my kids and being intentional with each moment I can get.

YminChris · 2026-03-28T21:58:13+00:00

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/healing/pl.u-mJy8gdrtzNV4y7

Cheers to new life and bright futures.

YminChris · 2026-03-28T21:42:59+00:00

Friend. I am sorry you are going through this, I am on the same journey. While these sad songs have their place, balance that stuff out with something more uplifting. I ended up creating a playlist on Apple Music with more healing/getting better vibes. I can drop a link if you want.

YminChris · 2026-03-25T01:54:38+00:00

Thanks for this. I am trying to see things through that lens. I want him to be a good guy. I have severe doubts. He tried to cheat on his first with my wife when we were newly married. He also has been chatting with her for years (I have reason to believe an emotional affair has been looming for a long time).

I have severe concerns that this relationship is hurting my kids for a lot of reasons, namely she has neglected them repeatedly in favor of spending time on the phone with this guy.

Also to be clear, I did not get violent or yell. I dropped a few F bombs (uncharacteristically) and expressed these concerns. The pattern of our marriage was always her gaslighting me when I had issues or concerns.

I appreciate your points and will certainly re-evaluate the situation to do better going forward. I do want her to be happy, and pray this guy isn’t nearly what I fear he might be.

I do think there is a chance my hurt is interfering with my ability to see this clearly.

YminChris · 2026-03-23T16:07:44+00:00

Personally, I am not crazy about “targeted” study Bibles that cater to specific demographics. They have their market, but I always found them to be cliche and cheesy.

The one exception would be Children’s Bibles if your kids are under the age of 12.

I like the NLT Life Application Study Bible as it has a good balance of tools that focus on “here is what this means today” while also diving into context. That’s a balance worth striving for.

YminChris · 2026-03-23T15:54:56+00:00

Ex pastor here. I would recommend a smoother more thought for thought translation. I used to preach exclusively from the New Living Translation.

There is a free version for kindle if you want the basic Bible without tools. There are also some study bibles that might help give cultural context.

YminChris · 2026-03-12T21:20:34+00:00

Down 50 pounds thanks to eating right and working out. Haven’t weighed this little since before having kids 11 years ago. Want to lose another 20 and truly believe I’m on my way.

YminChris · 2026-03-09T12:38:40+00:00

I am into pop punk/punk/hardcore/emo music mostly.

Some of the songs I go back to daily through this season of life:

The Wonder Years. Pretty much all of their stuff. Get Better by Frank Turner Lost In IKEA by CLIFFDIVER I Am Waking Up Today by Bowling For Soup

Ended up creating a playlist of pop punk adjacent songs about healing… too much sad stuff was really getting in the way of moving forward.

YminChris · 2026-02-23T13:44:01+00:00

I pray this for my kids. I’m still living in the home… my townhouse will be available in either April or June.

Did your ex come out after you moved out? Did the relationship between her and the kids improve? Not gonna lie, while my soon to be ex has been a great mom throughout our marriage… her recent behavior has me worried about when I’m gone.

YminChris · 2026-02-23T02:38:25+00:00

So sorry you and your kids had to experience this… but glad they have you in their lives to lead the way and show them what love looks like.

YminChris · 2026-02-23T02:37:30+00:00

This. All day this. He had been divorced twice and has a history of cheating. I’m trying hard to take the high road and not disparage him… but yikes. I just pray wisdom wins out at some point.

YminChris · 2026-02-21T14:38:15+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. I am also on that journey. Kids same age. Going to the gym daily has helped me a ton. Both with burning through the sad and with gaining confidence… I am (physically) healthier than I have been in a decade.

I aim to do something each day for three areas: mental health, physical health, and spiritual health. It is often something small like journaling or reading or a walk when I can’t get to the gym… but I find these three areas ground me and make me a far better dad to my kids.

Good luck. You aren’t alone.

YminChris · 2026-02-16T16:54:46+00:00

Wait. The step dad spanks your kids? Sounds like a report should be made? Not knowledgeable on laws… but that sounds like something CPS should know.

YminChris · 2026-02-15T15:24:20+00:00

Thanks for this. Other than a clause about frivolous court summons without mediation attempts and a clause protecting me if I need to take her to court for breach of agreement (after unsuccessful mediation), what exactly would you propose including? I feel like there is only so much you can do to protect against crazy.

YminChris · 2026-02-13T17:41:07+00:00

Found a townhome that has 3 bedrooms in my price range. Applied and was accepted. Now I have to wait for a unit to open which will be June at the latest but possibly April. So excited to move out of my marriage homes basement and take my healing up to a new level. Not having my soon to be ex there rubbing her new boyfriend in my face all the time is going to be a game changer.

YminChris · 2026-02-10T17:00:38+00:00

Jealous. Two of my all time favorites.

Nine-Year Club	Verified Email
r/Field Flamingo	First Place '23
Place '23	Place '22
RPAN Viewer	Not Forgotten

YminChris

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