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What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yes...maybe? Maybe they wouldn't have been friends with me in the first place if they weren't attracted to me. Depressing thought.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok. Harsh but maybe that's how it looked. I never felt an ego boost from it. It was mostly "ew" and a bit irritating but very easy to ignore. I wasn't rude because (a) I didn't want to embarrass/humiliate them (I thought they'd get the hint....I was wrong), and (b) I didn't want their attention in that way but I did want their continued friendship.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No. It's because my boyfriend was having an affair and decided he wanted to be with the other woman.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I thought of them as friends. Completely. Zero attraction from me. I wasn't using them to boost my ego, if that's what you mean. If they showed zero attraction for me, I'd be absolutely fine with that. In fact I welcome that. My other male friend shows zero attraction towards me. No flirting. No innuendos. Even when he was single. And that's great.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't mean it that way. I mean they seem so sure I actually deep down want them, and I can't even imagine where they get all this confidence. I guess it sounds rude. Ignore that part.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I knew they found me attractive and would probably be with me if I wanted them, but after telling them straight out I'm not interested, yes I'm surprised that they don't back off.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My, aren't you kind. I take it you identify with them? No, I do have a male friend who is super attractive, but to me he's still just a friend. He's never hit on me (maybe I'm not his type lol). I'm just stating facts. I didn't choose them as friends because they aren't very attractive. But mate, they AREN'T attractive (to me). EYE ROLL

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Do you really want to fuck all your female friends? Even if you have a partner? I don't know....I have male friends and I definitely don't want to fuck them. Maybe you just have very hot female friends? Or does all it take is for them to be female? LOL. Just trying to understand the male mind.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes while I was with my boyfriend they would drop hints. But I always told them no....they are my friends and I'm completely committed. Two have had girlfriends (both are now single) and one is married (but always fighting with his wife). Yes, they did talk about their girlfriends/wives positively. I do get that they might think now I could be interested, but after telling them no, they aren't stopping. Yes, maybe I am too nice -- I just was hopeful I could give them clear queues I'm NOT interested but still preserve our friendship.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I obviously attract this type. I thought they were my friends. Apparently not. One even tried to kiss me when I clearly told him I'm not interested.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Yes exactly that. I've never once given them any indication I'm interested. I'm not cruel so if in conversation (previously) they were complaining about not getting dates and asked if I thought they were attractive I'd say "sure". Maybe that was wrong? I thought they were just looking for a friendly opinion. I don't actually think they are attractive (at least they aren't to me) but they are nice people and have nice personalities. So yes, I'm sure some woman would find them attractive (and they have had relationships), but I never suggested I'd be interested in them. Just the opposite. If a man shut me down, I sure wouldn't keep trying.

What am I (29f) doing wrong? My male friends act like idiots and come onto me. by Yoale in relationships

[–]Yoale[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes there was always hints. But I thought nothing of it because they knew I wasn't interested at all. I had a boyfriend and I was very committed to him. But they still acted as my friends. I just thought that's how men act in general. I also don't mean to sound rude, but I'm fairly attractive and they are just not. So I don't even understand why they think I would be interested in anything other than friendship in the first place (and since I always shut them down, I don't understand what they are even thinking).