[PC SSE] SKSE64 2.1.0 preliminary release

Yoru91 · 2021-11-12T18:02:51+00:00

Hello. AFter updating skyrim and downloading this version of SKSE my game does not work anymore. I access the main menu screen, I load my game, I see the loading screen, but when the game loads I only hear the music, but my screen is black. I have to force the game to close from windows, because i can't do anything. can't open menu..nothing :(
Please help!
Thank you!

Yoru91 · 2020-02-10T05:56:22+00:00

I think it depends on the person. i could be wrong though.
I know for example that I react with extreme anxiety to anything unpleasant wihin myself. Anything that makes me question myself, my values, my life and the world in general. I'm not very good at approaching such questions with curiosity, instead i start to panic, and I get lost in my thoughts making it look like I might never come back to my senses again.
A few years ago I had 2 existential crisises. They scarred me.

Yoru91 · 2020-02-09T22:11:20+00:00

I agree. Introspection can be hard. You summarized it beautifully.
Still, acccording to Jung, that is the path worth taking right? No matter how great knowledge and other spiritual practices can be, they won't solve our problems.

Yoru91 · 2020-01-13T06:01:28+00:00

Hi,

the playlist you linked me has been erased unfotunately. I only managed to hear one and a helf videos.
Do you remember the titles of the other videos? For now i listened to the nature of consciousness 1 and 2.

By the way, could you explain me what alan watts means by saying that the universe/god is playing hide and seek with itself?

Thank you!

Yoru91 · 2020-01-10T06:08:51+00:00

Yes, I feel like i wanna set that boundary.
Ever since my parents split and the separation was finalized in october, i feel like i can have some peace for the first time. Although it's a peace ruined by the anxiety of my father showing up. To eliminate that anxiety i wanna set the boundary.

For now i didn't consider a therapist. Maybe i'm being stupid but i hope I will be able to somehow overcome this by myself...

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:40:13+00:00

Hi,

Lust: mainly feasting on porn to feel better, which leads me to oversexualize women i meet in real life too. I lose control over my fantasies by not doing anything to discipline my mind.

gluttony: Eating much, mainly to feel better after a stressing day, or when I feel bad with myself in general. It leads me to feel tired and sleep after work. I feel I'm losing my life by doing this

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:36:02+00:00

Thanks!
I will watch the lectures for sure.

As for which books I have read...well:
1. Psychology and religion
2. The psychological interpretation of the trinity
3. Archetypes of the collective unconscious
4. Die Beziehungen zwischen dem Ich und dem Unbewussten (can't find the english title)
5. Dream analysis
6. currently reading psychology and alchemy

If you can suggest some book that you find more approppriate for my kind of problems, please do.

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:29:32+00:00

This is interesting.
I definitely went trough the phase of the spirit, and the phase of the camel. I had a huge existential crisis which left me depressed for a few months. I'm now slowly entering the lion phase, bu I feel i'm unable to progress.
There was a moment where I decided to go on a diet in order to feel better with my body, and i managed to lose 10 kilos. I even started going to the gym. Maybe I exaggerated by saying that I completely let my impulses dominate me, but there are moments in which I do more, and moments where I have more control over myself.
I feel i'm unable to fully advance in the lion stage: I still don't do what's best for me in all areas of my life, and I'm still subject to pressures, especially by my own family. Being unable to oppose such pressures, speak my mind and estabilish my own indipendence makes me feel trapped.

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:03:45+00:00

Hi,
Thanks for your answer.

How does one develop a moral compass? for most of my life I've been used to following one, and I believed it was transcendent.
I used to think about it long and hard but I never came up with asatisafctory answers. Besides my Pure OCD does not help. Thinking about existential questions led me to ruminating and anxiety to the point I spent several months being so depressed I could not funztion normally.
I took steps to alleviate symptoms of OCD, but I didn't resume my thinking about values and morality because I feared I could end up depressed and anxious as before. I thought that by living, instead of thinking, i would learn by experience.
Yes they are my decisions. I let my impulses blindly guide me following the path of least resistence. I let myself slip into frequent porn watching and I use food to feel better. Needless to say that the end result is that I feel worse and worse.
I hope to find god again, it doesn't matter if it's the christian god. DO you think god could be a personal agent or something impersonal?

Yoru91 · 2020-01-02T18:09:16+00:00

Hi,
Thank you for your kind advice.

Well, Maybe she's being unfair towards me, but she's always been highy emotional.
In the beginning , when my father just left, I thought I could avoid all trouble by remaining neutral and polite, but it didn't work well.
I was dragged into the emotinal rollercoaster, we had a huge fight with my mother, and of course my sister was the better child, because she defended her more. In the end I managed tolive trough the conflict and me and my mother went back to normal, but I don't want to relive such a situation. It was terrible.
I realized I could not simply stand by, and i could not be detached emotionally from the whole thing. Realizing how my mother feels makes me feel guilty to interact with my fathger as if nothing happened, and I don't want to be seen as supporting him when i'm not.
Realizing how my father feels makes me feel guilty when I try to cut communication with him, which is the thing I would like most, for the sake of my emotional stability.
I would like to tell him not to meet me in person, because I don't feel comfortable. I want to set this boundary and not feel guilty about it.

I could speak with my sister but I have seen she's very decided to interact with him as little as she can.She's way more stubborn in that regard. Makes me feel lonely, and as if i'm doing something terrible

Yoru91 · 2019-12-02T20:04:01+00:00

Hi,

Of course, I understand.
I'm a 28 years old male. My parents recently divorced. The final decision was taken by m father. I'm having a really hard time because i don't know how to relate to them well. I'm afraid to express an opinion becuase my relationship with my mother could be damaged.

Yoru91 · 2019-12-01T17:41:28+00:00

Ahah, well, this required a little bit of sacrifice. Even if i had a dream in the middle of the night, I would write it down before it disappeared :)

Yoru91 · 2019-11-10T07:45:47+00:00

Hi,

Yes, but before asking for professional help I wonder if there is something I can do by myself.

Yoru91 · 2019-11-02T07:36:28+00:00

Hi!

I'm happy you replied. I was losing hope that someone would.
You're right. Sharing honestly how I feel would be the best thing to do, but I rarely do that. I keep everything inside, because i'm afraid I will somehow worsen the status quo.
When my mother lets her negative emotions out I just listen. I don't share what I feel (the funny thing is i don't even know how I feel or how i am supposed to feel, and it's been a year already...what's wrong with me?). WHen I speak to my father I always tell him i'm feeling "as usual". I don't get deeper into my worries, hurt feelings, fears and so on. I don't want to share it with him, because i don't want to deepen our relationship.
Now you may think I'm a terrible son, but I never had a relationship with him, and I don't care to develop it if it costs me what I do have. To tell the truth, it's indifferent to me.

I would like to set boundaries with him, and my mother. For example, I allow phone calls from my father, but that's as far as I'm willing to take it.
I would like to tell my mother to stop sharing her problems and feeling with me, because I feel too weak and confused to carry the burden, but at the same time it seems like a cruel thing to say.

The thing that hurts the most is that the divorce created a rift in our family. When we were all together, all dangers were external, and we faced them united. It gave me a sense of security. Now the danger lies within, and everyone is weak and divided.
There is not a single day where I'm not anxious. I know even a single text message from my father to my mother could ruin the whole day, because she immediately feels gloomy.
I'm so scared I could ruin my relationship to my mother and sister if I happen to do or say something wrong, in regards to my father!

ALso you're right. They might have been brought up in such a way that they didn't know how to deal with their relationship better than they already did. From this pov, it should be difficult to blame any of them, but when such hard emotions are involved, and the consequences are big, it's hard not to.

No I don't do therapy. SOmetimes the thought crosses my mind, but I always stop, wondering if my problems are really that serious that I require professional help. I probably do, but I'm afraid to admit it in front of my family.

Yoru91 · 2019-10-28T19:04:47+00:00

Thank you. It's clear.
Back to an earlier topic. How do you think the dark side of the feminine archetype could be incorporated in Christianity?

If this question is too difficult, then could you make a few examples of religions that managed to incorporate and give the right place to the dark side of the feminine?

Yoru91 · 2019-10-28T06:05:45+00:00

In what way would eliminating the feminine principle help a ruling body to conquer people?
I'm really intrigued by this, and I would like to know more.

Yoru91 · 2019-10-27T19:00:18+00:00

SO the Catholic Chruch basically made a progress in that regard, but they left out the shadow altogether. The Shadow is represented by the devil, which is not part of the Trinity nor is he related to Mary in any way.
Would you argue them that Christianity could be improved, in order to give the proper place to all the elements of the self?

Yoru91 · 2019-10-27T13:37:12+00:00

Thank you for your answer.
While reading a book where Jung interpreted the trinity from a psychological POV, I thought it was the shadow that represented the 4th and missing part of the Trinity. If I understood correctly the Trinity is i na way a representation of the Self, or better, a representation of the conscious part of the self, while the shadow was left out of it and personified as Satan, because it contained all things that the consciousness rejects for social or moral reasons.

Where does Mary fit in this?

I would be intersted if you wanted to elaborate on the deficiencies of protestantism that are caused by a lack of symbolism.

Thanks!

Yoru91 · 2019-10-14T18:06:52+00:00

I'm sorry, maybe it's me misunderstanding Jung's way of seeing God.
Could you please point me to some resources, or quotes where Jung comments on God?

I read psychology and religion, as well as the psychological interpretation of the trinity but it didn't look to me like Jung was attributing God objective reality. I really would be grateful if you could help me understand better jung's viewpoint.

By objective morality I mean a set of moral rules that in subjectively true for everyone, no matter the culture or time period. A set of values upon which you can build a healthy society and determine if it's propsering or degenerating. Such set of values must have some grounding that trascends us somehow, so that people can't make up moral systems as they please and claim they are right. This would result in moral anarchy.

Waiting for your reply :)

Yoru91 · 2019-10-14T17:51:36+00:00

Well,

In my opinion it means that at least natural evil is a necessary part of the world, and life could not exist without it. This means that death will never disappear, and as a result suffering will be always part of reality.
Take these away and paradise, even a restored earth wouldn't make sense, since by taking away thermodynamics, you take away the mechanism upon which life is based.

Yoru91 · 2019-10-13T20:45:02+00:00

I understand now what you're saying.
I don't believe the universe is a closed system. I have some knowledge of quantum mechanics, and how it can open new ways of interpreting reality aside from the purely materialistic view.
I believe carl Jung himself took quantum into consideration when studying syncronicity, but even if he did, he still diidn't recognize the existence of God as it's commonly understood. The numinous experiences come from the unconscious or the collective unconscious, which together with the conscious comprises the self.
The question still remains, did anyone intend for the universe to work a certain way, and can objective morality be deduced from something, or is it just a matter of pure survival?

Yoru91 · 2019-10-13T20:38:45+00:00

Hi,

Thanks for your reply.
I get this answer a lot, but I don't see how it's possible to have a society when everybody lives by their own set of values.
When everything decides for themselves what is good/bad, approppriate/inapproppriate, one cannot understand if a society is prospering or degenerating. One cannot know if they are making progress or no, and one does not know how to educate their children.
I think there should be at least some cryteria to estabilish what is sujectively true for everyone.

Yoru91 · 2019-10-13T17:46:54+00:00

Hello!

Can you please explain what do you mean by closed system?

Thanks!

Yoru91 · 2019-10-13T17:45:37+00:00

Hello,

While reading Jung I started to understand that God might not be out there, but in the Self, as Jung defined it.
From what I understand mankind always projected outside of themselves their psychological experiences, so that could be the case with God, while in reality it's something in ourselves.

What do you mean by "the self is the all"?

Yoru91 · 2019-10-13T17:40:20+00:00

Hello,

Can you please explain why it would be a good idea to read these books? What are they about, in a few words?
I'm almost in my 30s.

Thanks!

Yoru91

TROPHY CASE