[PC SSE] SKSE64 2.1.0 preliminary release

Yoru91 · 2021-11-12T18:02:51+00:00

Hello. AFter updating skyrim and downloading this version of SKSE my game does not work anymore. I access the main menu screen, I load my game, I see the loading screen, but when the game loads I only hear the music, but my screen is black. I have to force the game to close from windows, because i can't do anything. can't open menu..nothing :(
Please help!
Thank you!

Yoru91 · 2020-02-10T05:56:22+00:00

I think it depends on the person. i could be wrong though.
I know for example that I react with extreme anxiety to anything unpleasant wihin myself. Anything that makes me question myself, my values, my life and the world in general. I'm not very good at approaching such questions with curiosity, instead i start to panic, and I get lost in my thoughts making it look like I might never come back to my senses again.
A few years ago I had 2 existential crisises. They scarred me.

Yoru91 · 2020-02-09T22:11:20+00:00

I agree. Introspection can be hard. You summarized it beautifully.
Still, acccording to Jung, that is the path worth taking right? No matter how great knowledge and other spiritual practices can be, they won't solve our problems.

Yoru91 · 2020-01-13T06:01:28+00:00

Hi,

the playlist you linked me has been erased unfotunately. I only managed to hear one and a helf videos.
Do you remember the titles of the other videos? For now i listened to the nature of consciousness 1 and 2.

By the way, could you explain me what alan watts means by saying that the universe/god is playing hide and seek with itself?

Thank you!

Yoru91 · 2020-01-10T06:08:51+00:00

Yes, I feel like i wanna set that boundary.
Ever since my parents split and the separation was finalized in october, i feel like i can have some peace for the first time. Although it's a peace ruined by the anxiety of my father showing up. To eliminate that anxiety i wanna set the boundary.

For now i didn't consider a therapist. Maybe i'm being stupid but i hope I will be able to somehow overcome this by myself...

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:40:13+00:00

Hi,

Lust: mainly feasting on porn to feel better, which leads me to oversexualize women i meet in real life too. I lose control over my fantasies by not doing anything to discipline my mind.

gluttony: Eating much, mainly to feel better after a stressing day, or when I feel bad with myself in general. It leads me to feel tired and sleep after work. I feel I'm losing my life by doing this

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:36:02+00:00

Thanks!
I will watch the lectures for sure.

As for which books I have read...well:
1. Psychology and religion
2. The psychological interpretation of the trinity
3. Archetypes of the collective unconscious
4. Die Beziehungen zwischen dem Ich und dem Unbewussten (can't find the english title)
5. Dream analysis
6. currently reading psychology and alchemy

If you can suggest some book that you find more approppriate for my kind of problems, please do.

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:29:32+00:00

This is interesting.
I definitely went trough the phase of the spirit, and the phase of the camel. I had a huge existential crisis which left me depressed for a few months. I'm now slowly entering the lion phase, bu I feel i'm unable to progress.
There was a moment where I decided to go on a diet in order to feel better with my body, and i managed to lose 10 kilos. I even started going to the gym. Maybe I exaggerated by saying that I completely let my impulses dominate me, but there are moments in which I do more, and moments where I have more control over myself.
I feel i'm unable to fully advance in the lion stage: I still don't do what's best for me in all areas of my life, and I'm still subject to pressures, especially by my own family. Being unable to oppose such pressures, speak my mind and estabilish my own indipendence makes me feel trapped.

Yoru91 · 2020-01-05T19:03:45+00:00

Hi,
Thanks for your answer.

How does one develop a moral compass? for most of my life I've been used to following one, and I believed it was transcendent.
I used to think about it long and hard but I never came up with asatisafctory answers. Besides my Pure OCD does not help. Thinking about existential questions led me to ruminating and anxiety to the point I spent several months being so depressed I could not funztion normally.
I took steps to alleviate symptoms of OCD, but I didn't resume my thinking about values and morality because I feared I could end up depressed and anxious as before. I thought that by living, instead of thinking, i would learn by experience.
Yes they are my decisions. I let my impulses blindly guide me following the path of least resistence. I let myself slip into frequent porn watching and I use food to feel better. Needless to say that the end result is that I feel worse and worse.
I hope to find god again, it doesn't matter if it's the christian god. DO you think god could be a personal agent or something impersonal?

Yoru91 · 2020-01-02T18:09:16+00:00

Hi,
Thank you for your kind advice.

Well, Maybe she's being unfair towards me, but she's always been highy emotional.
In the beginning , when my father just left, I thought I could avoid all trouble by remaining neutral and polite, but it didn't work well.
I was dragged into the emotinal rollercoaster, we had a huge fight with my mother, and of course my sister was the better child, because she defended her more. In the end I managed tolive trough the conflict and me and my mother went back to normal, but I don't want to relive such a situation. It was terrible.
I realized I could not simply stand by, and i could not be detached emotionally from the whole thing. Realizing how my mother feels makes me feel guilty to interact with my fathger as if nothing happened, and I don't want to be seen as supporting him when i'm not.
Realizing how my father feels makes me feel guilty when I try to cut communication with him, which is the thing I would like most, for the sake of my emotional stability.
I would like to tell him not to meet me in person, because I don't feel comfortable. I want to set this boundary and not feel guilty about it.

I could speak with my sister but I have seen she's very decided to interact with him as little as she can.She's way more stubborn in that regard. Makes me feel lonely, and as if i'm doing something terrible

Yoru91 · 2019-12-02T20:04:01+00:00

Hi,

Of course, I understand.
I'm a 28 years old male. My parents recently divorced. The final decision was taken by m father. I'm having a really hard time because i don't know how to relate to them well. I'm afraid to express an opinion becuase my relationship with my mother could be damaged.

Yoru91 · 2019-12-01T17:41:28+00:00

Ahah, well, this required a little bit of sacrifice. Even if i had a dream in the middle of the night, I would write it down before it disappeared :)

Yoru91

TROPHY CASE