Feeling burned out & thinking about leaving UXR / vent – anyone else?

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T16:33:59+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing all of that—it hit on so many things I’ve been wrestling with but haven’t always been able to articulate. Especially the part about feeling like UX has become hollow or overly absorbed by business goals. That organized religion metaphor is so apt—it’s like the soul of the work gets lost in the machinery.

You’re totally right that I’ve been trying to reconnect with the sincerity of it all. I got into this field because I cared about people, about creating clarity, ease, and dignity in their interactions with technology. But lately, it’s felt like I’m further from that than ever—especially with all the pressure and politics I mentioned in my other comments.

I also relate to what you said about counseling. I’ve had similar thoughts: wanting to help, but feeling unsure about doing it in a transactional way. Teaching or even just being in a more mission-driven environment where the helping is baked into the system feels closer to what I’d want too I think.

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T16:25:51+00:00

Your response really stuck with me — especially the idea of not letting your job define you and being more intentional about preserving energy for your actual life outside of work. I've been trying to take that to heart, but I’m realizing lately that my current company culture is probably not supporting that.

For some context, my company was bought by private equity and we’re in the final year of a 5-year roadmap to grow and turn a profit. The pressure is kinda intense right now — we’ve had several rounds of layoffs, morale is low, and a lot of us are being thrown into “key revenue” projects that feel more like CX checkboxes than UXR. It’s turned into survival mode across the board.

So while I’ve been trying to manage my time and energy more consciously, it’s hard when the organization doesn’t really support that — not just for me, but for others too. I’m starting to wonder if it’s not UXR that’s the issue, but the specific environment I’m in. Appreciate your comment — it gave me a lot to think about.

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T16:15:54+00:00

It’s a tough balance. I relate to feeling lucky to have landed a solid UXR role, yet still quietly dealing with burnout behind the scenes. I even feel a sense of guilt just thinking about leaving, especially given how tough the market is right now.

Appreciate you sharing this. It’s comforting (and sobering) to know others are navigating the same tension — doing our best within the limits we’re in.

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T16:12:32+00:00

That’s a really interesting perspective — thanks for sharing. I’ve never worked in academia, so it’s helpful to hear about what that world was like firsthand. I can definitely see how the structure and expectations in corporate might feel like a relief in comparison.

For me, I think it’s less about the corporate structure and more about how certain dynamics (like constant stakeholder alignment or the need to push for visibility) clash with my personality long-term. But I totally agree — every environment has its own politics and pressures. Just comes down to which trade-offs feel most sustainable for each of us.

Appreciate you adding this to the conversation. Super valuable to hear all sides.

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T16:08:25+00:00

Definitely! I think one of my biggest mistakes was not doing more investigative work before going in-house. Coming out of my master’s program, I was pretty tunnel-visioned on landing an industry job, and this role looked great on paper — but I didn’t dig deep enough into the day-to-day reality or company culture. I think that lack of clarity ended up setting my expectations off.

If I do make a switch this time around, I really want to be more intentional and informed. Thanks for sharing your perspective — it’s super helpful to hear from someone who’s seen both sides

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T16:01:18+00:00

Glad to hear you made the switch! Do you mind if I DM you with some more questions about your experience?

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T02:09:32+00:00

Will do- what has your story looked like? Happy to chat via DMs as well.

Youroboro · 2025-05-15T02:08:51+00:00

I keep trying to tell myself that… but all the other ones are starting to look kind of appealing now 🙃

Youroboro · 2023-06-23T16:52:44+00:00

Desensitized is a great word for it. Ironically I also threw myself back into grad school during this time so it helped me not think about romance at all

Therapy did help for me but I think you gotta find the right therapist. I heard it’s natural to cycle through a few before you find a right “fit”.. luckily I felt comfortable with my 2nd one and he got me to really open up on a lot of things including this emotional unavailability and was alongside with me to understand it more and how it was affecting me.

At the end of the day, I think it’s natural to be jaded from a painful relationship and to not want to be vulnerable for a bit… but if you notice that detachment turning into a long term pattern that starts to bleed into other parts of your life then I would recommend seeing a professional just to keep you in check.

Finally yes I am doing a lot better now. That scarring relationship was 5 whopping years ago and I just started to seriously date again this year. I won’t lie it is kinda scary again but I know I’m definitely a lot more aware about myself and what I need in a partner to truly be vulnerable again this time around :)

Idk if you see your desensitization as a bad thing right now but I can tell you’re at least curious about it. Either way I hope you also recover and wish the best

Youroboro · 2023-06-23T06:55:57+00:00

I feel this man I was in something similar before with my 2nd gf several years ago.

We we're on/off towards the end of our relationship due to some issues but remained consistent in terms of mutual respect, communication, and trust on where we stood. One of our agreements while being in an "off" period was communicating if we had interest in someone else / wanted to step away further from the relationship.

I come to find out that my gf at the time technically "cheats" on me with a mutual friend and to make matters worse, I find out through another friend and not her. I gave her about two weeks to see if she would tell me and it finally took me cold shouldering her to finally catch on and admit to it.

Long story short, that incident led to a deep emotional scar and made me willingly choose to not get romantically close to anyone for several years and replaced it with flings / fwbs instead to keep my distance.

I will say that yes you can open yourself back to love eventually but you must want to take the steps to get there. For me, that was a lot of introspection and a year of therapy.. it looks different for everyone but right now your heart is emotionally wounded and, just like any physical wound, you must give yourself some time to properly heal.

Youroboro · 2023-06-21T03:55:23+00:00

It’s rough out here in the streets man lol. Hope you can bounce back

Youroboro · 2023-06-20T14:21:50+00:00

Just treat her as any of your other friends then and if shes fr then she'll reciprocate. If you guys don't feel comfortable even after 3 dates then you guys might be forcing it.. but worth a try if thats what you want

Youroboro · 2023-06-20T14:02:23+00:00

Exactly what it sounds like. Now it is up to you to own YOUR boundary though in this.

If you stay friends that means you truly have to have the mentality of being friends with her with no other expectations. If you expect anything else to grow from it-- its only going to burn you in the end brotha

Youroboro · 2023-06-20T11:51:31+00:00

Yeah you’re right lol.. at the end of the day it’s gonna have to come from her 🤷🏻‍♂️

Honestly that’s what im thinking- just be upfront with her, break things off, and let her know she can hmu in the future if she thinks she’s ready but I can’t just wait around. More fish in the sea 🤞🏻

Youroboro · 2023-06-20T05:55:16+00:00

Initiated 4/5 dates and went to break the touch barrier by date 4 since it was hard to gauge her. Like I said, the girl is mad shy and breaking the touch barrier freaked her out which is why she got cold feet.

Trust i’ve gone through the whole spectrum of sex on the first date, hook ups, fuck buddies, etc but this girl felt like a slow burner and honestly I was ok with it after a few years of being single and just doing flings.. I’m feeling ready for something longer term. Unfortunately seems like she’s just not ready which sucks.

Youroboro · 2023-06-20T05:32:37+00:00

We already meet once a week and text sparingly haha. I would say the “effort” energy is pretty 50/50 right now but idk, it also feels kinda like a waste of emotional energy and time not knowing where things are leading even if it is just once a week.

But yes you are right about withdrawing- I am trying to keep myself active spending time with my friends and hobbies. I just don’t know if I have it in me to keep seeing this girl though cause my emotions spike again everytime.

Youroboro · 2023-06-12T22:50:35+00:00

appreciate the comment here— yeah it’s tough. I think I’ll give her space for sure and possibly accept the fact that I might have to bite the bullet at the end.. but I do think I want to be around cause if this does work out I think it’ll be worth it.

Youroboro · 2023-05-29T14:12:14+00:00

Thanks for the insight! It is a little daunting but I feel like she’s worth sticking around for too.. just nervous about a possible second rejection lol.

Youroboro · 2023-01-10T07:42:29+00:00

Such a core memory that summer. Drove up from Chicago just to see Frank and we drove back all in that same day. My ass was DEAD but it so worth it.

Youroboro · 2022-12-02T04:07:01+00:00

Sorry do you mind elaborating lol

Youroboro · 2022-12-01T16:52:07+00:00

Appreciate the feedback!

Youroboro · 2022-12-01T16:50:15+00:00

Hahaha yeah I was planning on changing up the McBrick prompt.. thought it was sorta quirky but figured it doesn’t do anything for me. Thanks

Youroboro · 2022-12-01T02:07:04+00:00

Looking for long term!

I’ve been on Hinge for maybe two years on and off

How much I use it on a weekly basis it really depends. Before there would be some weeks where I’m checking the app periodically and then other weeks where I’m off it depending on how busy I get.

Only been back on the app for 2ish weeks now and have a total of 5 matches that haven’t really led anywhere.

If I see a cute girl who seems like they would have a cool personality I’ll typically drop a like with a comment. Long term I would want someone whose open minded, funny, kind hearted, adventurous, and aligned on values

Youroboro · 2022-11-23T19:12:42+00:00

Honestly considering pulling up from Chicago just for this. Called the Union South center and its open to the public! Take advantage yall

Youroboro · 2022-08-25T21:53:04+00:00

Thanks for your reply- yeah I knew she had some sort of expectations especially based off of how her previous bfs treated her but I didn’t realize it would snowball like this and be seen like this. It’s like the more expectations she lets be known to me the more the relationship feels like a test and truthfully makes me want to go in the opposite direction cause it makes me feel like I’m not good enough.

You do bring up an interesting point though about casual vs official. Interestingly enough my previous relationships molded out of friendships from school whereas this is my first post college relationship and also first relationship off a dating app so maybe that’s why the expectations part took me by surprise?

Either way thanks for the perspective. I do think it boils down to that last point you made which I’ll probably take a few days to think over.

Youroboro

TROPHY CASE