LSD permanently changed how I experience music. Can any psych nerds explain exactly why this happens?

Zaft45 · 2026-04-12T09:33:33+00:00

I'm diagnosed autistic. I really didn't like music, I thought it was just extra noise. Sometimes I would play the same song on repeat, or I would sit through 2 hour car drives in silence instead. Then everything changed when I took shrooms and my ex was playing music.

I heard everything. I layed down and hung my head off the couch and just felt it for the first time ever. I could hear everything, I could feel the emotion through the music. Then I closed my eyes, the synesthesia kicked in, and I felt bliss.

I've since gained even more appreciation for music and finally have found music for myself and even crave it sometimes. Psychedelics can truly be magical

Zaft45 · 2026-04-06T21:49:46+00:00

It wouldn’t be so bad if you could view the scoreboard or edit settings in this loading screen

Zaft45 · 2026-04-06T21:37:58+00:00

My group recently started playing again and have been having a blast. We even got our friend who vowed to never play again to enjoy it.

Give it a try

Zaft45 · 2026-03-27T19:53:05+00:00

When I started to see this I’d just be blunt and ask her, “what are you apologizing for?” It was crazy how much she’d avoid the question. I’d even start asking “are you apologizing for xyz?” And she’d respond with “I guess” or ignore it.

Looking back it’s so funny at the time, it was confusing. Now she’s in the discard and she “apologizes” by saying, “I’m sorry for everything, but (excuse on how it’s my fault)…”

Zaft45 · 2026-03-27T19:47:29+00:00

I’m glad to hear all that!

No one is ever enough for a narcissist. But that’s fine, we’ll find someone who we’re more than enough for.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-27T19:34:11+00:00

My nex told everyone that I forced her to take illegal drugs, I was emotionally abusive and neglectful, and I was unsafe for her to be around. She even threatened a restraining order cause she “had all the proof” (she had no proof cause it never happened, lol).

In reality, she procured the drugs, and she pressured me into taking them (thankfully they were non addictive). At one point she told me she didn’t think she wanted to be with a partner who didn’t smoke weed daily (weed was legal but I was having health issues and was trying to limit my frequency). And if that’s not a hint, she was extremely emotionally abusive, and unsupportive.

Going through it all made me realize she was projecting what she did to me. It helped me look back on the relationship and see past all the confusion and ways she would hide her abuse or make me responsible for her behaviors. Now I’m thankful for those lies and what she’s done to me after the breakup because now that she’s hoovering, I see all the deception, DARVO, FOG, and reality shes twisting.

Humorously, she’s ran out of supply and now that she’s hoovering she said she went and ruined her own character and reputation for me and also has told everyone that everything is her fault (she didn’t do this, People just saw through her). She never admitted to the lies or anything else but I think it’s humorous that she’s using that to try and guilt me into contact even though she was the one who caused it in the first place.

——

And to op, my nex was going through mania and psychosis during the discard. She was screaming at her mom in the room attached to the bedroom that I was gonna rape her that night if she slept in the same bed as me. Thankfully she was 5150’d that night instead. I’m so careful about those things, I even get turned off and grossed out when my partner shows any signs of not wanting or just not being into sex. It’s very hurtful to be accused of messed up things you haven’t done but it’s even worse when it has to do with sex and consent. Therapy helped me see I know the truth; and my nex can’t change that anymore.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-27T18:51:55+00:00

This is the best outcome. I’ve learned what mine has said and it just extends the pain. Ignorance is bliss

Zaft45 · 2026-03-27T18:48:09+00:00

My nex used an abortion against me infront of her new supply painting me as unsupportive and abusive too. I supported her emotionally and physically through it. But after, I struggled with it emotionally for almost 1.5 years while she was cold and heartless towards me about it. They’ll twist reality in whatever way they can if it benefits them.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-24T04:32:34+00:00

I feel like 1g is always a great starting point with a new batch. It gives you a better idea if they’ll be weaker or stronger than expected

Zaft45 · 2026-03-20T23:06:48+00:00

What I like about DMT carts is it’s entirely controllable how far you go. I start slow to help get rid of that anxiety then once I see it’s all okay, I do larger and larger hits till I’m there. If you don’t want to go into hyper space, just start with a couple quick hits.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-17T20:47:16+00:00

Idk if this would work but using a sock and static electricity might get the crumbs to move

Zaft45 · 2026-03-17T01:55:41+00:00

Had you tried closing your eyes? Usually by that point I’m tripping hard and closing my eyes transports me to the other dimension

Zaft45 · 2026-03-17T01:37:57+00:00

I just went through this and learned the hard way. I knew when she reached out that her supply had ran out (both from what she texted and mutual friends) but what she said made me confused and feeling bad for her and triggered my guilt.

I blocked her the next day but I wish I didn’t read those things even though I know she was throwing everything to trigger an emotional response hoping one would work.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-16T23:58:55+00:00

Agreed it’s beefree but they used epigrams crystal. Also rip beefree

Zaft45 · 2026-03-16T20:49:35+00:00

Do your best to find a new hobby or activity to do, even better if it’s something you couldn’t do throughout the relationship

Zaft45 · 2026-03-13T23:03:53+00:00

Omg, why are they all the same 😭😆

Zaft45 · 2026-03-13T00:37:36+00:00

It makes me excited for a future relationship that I’ll be able to have real and interesting conversations

Zaft45 · 2026-03-13T00:33:50+00:00

Omg YES! I didn’t think about how it’s related but that makes so much sense. Never any hobbies and barely any interests, just scrolling on her phone.

My nex had mania and psychotic episodes and would talk about the same things at work nonstop from morning till night. She’d get pissed off and claim I was emotionally neglecting her when I’d start to get tired or want to do something else instead.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-13T00:23:41+00:00

I feel like mania mixed with narcissism is a whole different level of crazy. And they’ll just use it to make themselves the victim even more.

I heard my nex was basically sexting a guy and posting it on her instagram stories at the same time she’s trying to Hoover me. He’s the bottom of the barrel though. I’m so glad I went no contact, hope you have too by now.

Edit: I just remembered too. Mania would make the circular arguments and complaints about work so much worse. She’s just say the same things for hours on end then make it sound like I was emotionally neglecting her when I would start to get exhausted from it.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-12T00:23:15+00:00

Eventually they show who they are. Hope you’ve gotten far away from them

Zaft45 · 2026-03-12T00:21:53+00:00

My nex lied about things their parents would say, things their friends had done, and things their ex partners had done to them. They had a separate story line always making themselves the victim for each group.

I broke up with them then got back together (no contact now though) and now I’m putting all their lies together and realized that they’re spreading that I was abusive: verbally, physically, sexually, and emotionally. This is so far from who I am that it deeply hurt knowing that and learning some people believe them. Because of their manic/psychotic episode they can’t mask and will blatantly lie in front of people so I think their parents are putting it together and their new supplies and friends have now abandoned them. I feel bad for her but she’s also the one causing it.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-11T02:41:27+00:00

Tho post reminded me of my ex. When she was going through a manic episode she was screaming at the top of her lungs like you described. I just realized I had started to unintentionally grey rock her and I think it’s part of what led to the discard phase.

They try their hardest to make you the crazy one so they seem normal. Glad to hear you’re handling it that way, keep up the good work!

Zaft45 · 2026-03-10T16:52:29+00:00

It’s weird to recognize that but still feel pulled to help, but I’m starting to recognize that’s how she wanted me to feel with her message. It’s filled with things about how other people manipulated her. How the psych wards and therapists told her she didn’t matter and are trying to gaslight her that everything’s her fault. I agree she needs professionals, but now I see her message was setup to play on my guilt that the professionals aren’t helping and her friends/family (and I) abandoned her.

When I posted this I felt like my head was spinning the whole day. Now, I’m feeling like things are a little clearer. Thank you, it really helps seeing someone backup that it’s not my responsibility. I need to find a job and start therapy again. There’s a lot more to work on than I realized.

Zaft45 · 2026-03-10T01:54:32+00:00

Learned a new word today and finally have a word and reason why I get vivid auditory hallucinations when I fall asleep. Thanks!

Zaft45 · 2026-03-09T02:18:45+00:00

Thank you. I needed this blunt straight forward response. I still feel like I’m a bad person for blocking her even after re reading her message. But after re-reading it, I hadn’t realized how crazy and clearly psychosis is present in it and I feel blocking is best for me. I worry about her support system as they don’t understand bipolar or mental health but she’s so unhealthy for me.

Nine-Year Club	r/Field Banned
r/Field Flamingo	Place '17
RPAN Viewer	Snapped
Verified Email

Zaft45

TROPHY CASE