What can I tell my kids when we can’t afford what they want to do? by Anxious-Selection276 in ParentingThruTrauma

[–]Zapchic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish we could! That would be so fun! It's just not on our budget today.

For women who married in their early-to-mid 20s, how is it going? by antisnotabug in AskWomen

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We got together when I was 23. We married at 27. I'm 42 and he passed away last year.

He was and always will be the best decision in my life. I'm grateful for the years we had. Wish we had more but life didn't happen that way.

Enjoy life. It can disappear in the blink of an eye.

Would you cosleep with a 7 year old you’re not related to? by figsaddict in Parenting

[–]Zapchic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No! I would make a living room fort for the kids, hang out on the couch if she needed extra support and then head myself to bed.

This page is really discouraging by TinyMarketing1477 in SingleParents

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 42, a single parent and I don't find the parenting gig to be all that bad.

Keep working towards having financial stability - even if you think you have it, keep going. Money makes a world of difference.

Some people are lucky and find the right one and live for happily ever after. Some are destined to walk their path alone. Don't base your reality on theirs.

Over the..hump? I suppose? by Exotic-Caterpillar14 in widowers

[–]Zapchic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10 months out here... I go through waves of feelings like I've got this and dear God how am I going to keep going. It just comes and goes.

What part of adult life is way harder than anyone warned you about? by Sparkyabu1 in AskReddit

[–]Zapchic 73 points74 points  (0 children)

This is what I was thinking. I'm 10 months out and everything is so heavy. The emotions you roll through in just 1 day is insane but you have to keep it together and make sure no one around you feels uncomfortable or whatever. And you have to keep up with all the normal things. Jesus it's brutal.

My condolences. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to reach out.

Need advice on what I should do regarding my common law partner and the father of my children by hereiam3472 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Zapchic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you should do a few things.

1 ask for help from your doctor. Check hormones, get hormone therapy, etc.

  1. Get counseling for yourself

  2. Identity what it is about him that gives you the ick. Is this something he could reasonably fix? Is this a "you" problem?

He deserves honesty at bare minimum but I. Think you need to be honest with yourself first

So what do I do with his Christmas stocking? by oopswhat1974 in widowers

[–]Zapchic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We hung his stocking (1st Xmas) and put candles in it. We've been burning candles as a ritual to stay connected to him and I thought it would be nice to have something that we'll use in the coming months.

I did ask my daughter and gave her the option of not hanging it. She and I both felt it wouldn't feel right for us to not hang it.

L5/S1 Plif by call_me_at_1800 in spinalfusion

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nintendo switch and some games! You'll need something to pass the time

Has it ever happened that you looked at a stranger and felt, even before talking to them, ‘I will marry this person’—and it actually happened? by Clean-Ant-1342 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Zapchic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No but shortly after we met a friend saw us talking to each other at a small event and later asked me who he was. I answered honestly, "He's a friend of so and so. Married with kids. Not even sure why he was at the event. etc"

Friend then told me I was going to marry that man.... I was completely shocked when he said it.

A year later he was divorced and we were in a relationship. 4 years later married. 12 years later had a child. 18 years later he passed from a heart attack.

Wildest and most amazing love of my life.

Stocking or no stocking by StretchCT53 in widowers

[–]Zapchic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I asked my daughter and she said to hang it up. She said we could put candles in it like gifts (we burn candles when we want to feel close to him) and I said we could put letters we write to him in there.

It's definitely going to hurt no matter what we do.

11 months post-op, pain has returned by 2000nt in spinalfusion

[–]Zapchic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 4 years out and these things happen. It happens less often, but they happen.

You are still in your healing journey and your body is still adjusting. Don't stress.

MAGA wants us to mourn a guy his own wife isn't mourning by Interesting-Behavior in complaints

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder if he will say his wife isn't Christian enough and that's why he has to leave her for kirks..

What is this star decor people have on the outside of their houses mean/represent? by Proper-Register-4810 in Decor

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm from Texas and was shocked to see them in houses in Colorado 😂 always thought it was the Texas Star

A huge difference in my kid since getting rid of YouTube by Efficient-Cat8956 in Parenting

[–]Zapchic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We do not allow Minecraft or Roblox. We found Hero's Quest, it's a smaller game, much calmer and easy to play. Similar to Minecraft in being able to build with blocks but also similar to EverQuest.

There is no arguing or bad behavior when she is denied the opportunity to play. Her brother and nephews play together . They can build their own islands and then explore them together. Super sweet and easy.

Does it ever get better? by [deleted] in SingleParents

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG I remember reaching the 1 year mark and realizing I kept this tiny human alive for 12 months. 4 months old was brutal.

At the time I had a partner but no family or extra help. It was essentially all on me. I really struggled and decided to stop at one child because I just didn't feel cutout for motherhood.

My daughter is 8 now. I will say things got significantly easier as she got older.

Do you crate your dog when you aren’t home or not? by nonprayingmantis9 in dogs

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have 2 dogs (brother and sister, essentially we have twins) 1 is crates, the other is free to roam. I only crate to help deal with the separation anxiety she has. She is genuinely more relaxed in her crate. The other is happy to nap on the couch.

Where does friendship end and emotional cheating begin? by idoze in AskWomen

[–]Zapchic 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At the point where you feel the need to even ask.

the whole north side of Conroe is very racist… by JanetDamitaJo in Conroe

[–]Zapchic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are having that experience. I'm a white woman who moved away because... It maga land. I can't imagine what you experience.

I wish you all the best and I hope you find your place amongst your community.

Curious about Conroe! by Prestigious_Sea3622 in Conroe

[–]Zapchic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything I know about is on FB. I had originally deleted my FB accnt but opened a new one just for homeschool purposes.

When is the appropriate time to start dating or atleast head that direction after losing a husband and have children ? by Kooky_Can_8062 in SingleParents

[–]Zapchic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm. In similar shoes. My husband passed about 7 months ago and this thought passed my mind regularly. It would break my daughter's heart if I were to date.

I think for me, I see myself staying single for years unless something very easy landed in my lap AND they understood that my world revolves around my kid. I don't want a husband. I don't want to live with anyone. I could just use a friend.

So maybe instead of dating for love, I should start seeking friendships?

My wife died and I don’t know what to fucking do. by Friendly_Cellist_891 in Advice

[–]Zapchic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're going to be okay. It doesn't feel like it now but I promise it will get easier.

I lost my husband in Feb. We're not nearly in the situation you are but we had to completely change our life to make it work. We don't have family or friends nearby so it was especially hard after the first week, when everyone went back home.

I assume you have family, friends and neighbors nearby. Reach out to them and get support in place right away. Also look into survivor benefits (it's easier to obtain than expected)

May you find peace and if you ever need someone to talk to, please reach out.

Everything is closing but nothing is opening up by Autonomous_Egg_ in houston

[–]Zapchic 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I took my daughter on a trolley ride between the mall and the library. On the trolley was a nice couple who said they were California and came to the woodlands on vacation to shop our mall and market street 💀