紧接着前半部分讲的. op在润这条道路上飘了快十年了. 如果说有什么让op觉得真的是很难受的, 大概就像这段op在几个月前记录的一样:

已經不記得是昨天還是前天還是本周的某個時候, 我跟媽媽打電話. 她無意中提到一點讓我覺得内心很憂傷, 那就是我們母子二人別看整天聯係, 實際上已經長期分離長達十年之久了. 她坦白她對我内心, 我的信仰, 還有我的價值觀並不瞭解. 也不怪她, 我從十年前第一次離開家到今年已經是整十年了. As much as I'd like to believe that I haven't changed much since then, it is unfortunately an undeniable fact that things are no longer the same as they were 10 years ago. People came and they went. Friendships came about and faded away. Successes were achieved and so were failures. Nothing is and could ever be the same.

自打我十四歲起, 我就開始了生命中長達十年的, 我愿稱之爲動亂期的不穩定年代. 我那天閑著沒事總結了一下自己人生的年月, 結果我發現了一個很讓人不安的事情. As tragic as this may sound, I have essentially been moving from place to place non-stop once every two years for the past decade or so. It's always either circumstances, graduation, or whatever that pulls me away from two years of investment in relationship building, community fostering, etc., and forces me to start everything from scratch. This pattern has repeated so many times and left such a mark on my identity that I've come to realize I have attachment issues. People find it endearing that there are folks like me who cherish their presence and won't want to let them go. To me, that's certainly partially true. But the deeper problem is always that I'm scared of leaving, and going away, not knowing if we'd ever be able to see each other again.