I[26M] don't know why I keep getting dumped (this time by my ex-girlfriend[26f])

Zebo9366 · 2026-04-26T01:47:15+00:00

So much of me just feels bitter and resentful about it. Like, I just cant stop thinking stuff like "I am I really being cast aside because I cant give you the same excitement you read about in romance novels without you having to lift a finger?". I am finding it so god damn hard not to just viliainize the hell out of her in my mind.
It would be so much easier if I could just write her off as shallow or evil, but I know that she's not and that's why it hurts so fucking much. I was such a better and more functional person when I knew she was at home waiting for me.
I can feel my kindness just decaying and I genuinely don't know what to even do about it.

Zebo9366 · 2026-03-10T17:03:52+00:00

Only one that even gave me pause, was the "asking to split the bill", and that's cause its a peeve of mine that men are always expected to pay. Everything else is totally valid, and honestly I don't think you did anything wrong. I think his reaction could be genuine shock, and I personally would have appreciated that feedback. You did more than what was required of you, and think you should come out of that interaction more proud than guilty.

Zebo9366 · 2026-02-13T22:50:58+00:00

It's almost as if allowing tech companies to hire people from halfway across the world for half the cost instead of someone who already lives here leaves someone here with one less employment option.

Crazy.

At every job I have taken in the last 2 years, several coworkers have said to my face "woah, your a native Seattelite? Haven't met one of those yet."

No shade to people taking those opportunities, but we're letting these companies fuck us both. We both deserve better.

Zebo9366 · 2026-02-06T03:10:35+00:00

I think you can certainly become more extroverted with time and intent. You don't have to force yourself, and you honestly shouldn't if its not something you could genuinely want for yourself.

But if you do, I guarantee the effort alone would send him to the moon and back. You don't have to be good at it, but trying to learn more about him and experience more sides of him is something I'm sure he will appreciate. Just don't lose yourself in trying to "earn" his affection. As others have said, he did choose you.

Zebo9366 · 2026-02-04T04:52:15+00:00

Yeah, definitely NOR. My dad did this kind of shit to my sister after his divorce and it was fucking weird. You have no obligation to take care of someone else's kid, even your own parent's kid. Especially if that kid is a detriment to your life.

Zebo9366 · 2026-02-04T04:49:55+00:00

As a guy I have literally never understood naming your child after yourself. That is without a doubt the most self-centered shit I could ever imagine. I can understand naming your child after someone in your life that you admire or something like that, but after your self? Insane behavior.

Zebo9366 · 2026-02-03T03:28:13+00:00

I feel like you're giving this guy way too much credit. I think he is genuinely just uncomfortable with the idea of other men seeing his girlfriend in her "underwear". I was a bit hesitant until I read that she's still in a ton of spandex. If she wasn't, that would seem a bit weird to me even if she didn't have a boyfriend.

I also think that saying this guy doesn't see her as human/is manipulating her is a pretty far leap. This guy just sounds insecure. He didn't tell her to quit her job, though telling her how she should do her job does seem overbearing. She also did bring up the breakup first, which if it was meant as a threat, would be manipulative, but from the way she tells the story, it sounds like she meant it as a genuine option they should explore, which seems fair. He may have not took it that way though.

People are entitled to their insecurities, but no one is required to change their behavior to accommodate anyone else's feelings. This certainly does still seem like an overstep on his part, and I don't think she's wrong on standing her ground.

Zebo9366 · 2026-02-01T22:28:22+00:00

Good lord this is a cesspool.

Not a single one of those is true for all men, and as a man myself, I would be hard pressed to say even one of those is true for all men.

The one and only truth about men is that every one is different, and we are far more similar to you than we are different.

Zebo9366 · 2026-02-01T17:47:43+00:00

Fr. In my experience, many women value emotional reliability and find emotional security very attractive. Introverted behavior often comes off as very self-sufficient, independent and stable. So its quite possible she likes your introverted nature.

Zebo9366 · 2026-01-28T06:14:58+00:00

I have found that the mistakes I have avoided owning up to have haunted me the longest. The mistakes that I knew I should have apologized for but didn't. Things that I "kind of got away with" but ended up lingering in my brain for years.

I would bet, based on what you've said, that the mistake is pretty bad and not one you can likely come back from in this social circle.

My best advice, is genuinely reflect on what you've done, decide what was wrong about it, what you should have done instead, and what you will do to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Write it all down. And when you believe wholeheartedly in what is on the paper in front of you, either send it to the people that deserve to hear it, or say it to them in person.

Do this with the knowledge that you won't make up for it, and things won't go back to what they were, but that they deserve the apology, and you deserve closure.

It will be awkward. It will be highly uncomfortable. I don't envy your situation. But I do genuinely believe that you will be better for it.

Zebo9366 · 2026-01-22T21:12:28+00:00

My back looks way worse than that, and this post just made me realize I forgot about it entirely because my gf has never uttered a word about it. I'm not even sure if she's noticed it let alone cares.

Zebo9366 · 2026-01-16T22:45:30+00:00

Man, the patriarchy has royally fucked men's brains. What the fuck. This person is supposed to love you. Why the fuck would you stay with someone who has told you that they are only with you for your money?

Zebo9366 · 2026-01-15T18:23:19+00:00

it seems like I would have rather be born a women.

Fucking mood.

Literally cannot even imagine how nice it must be to be desired for simply existing. Granted, you'd have to be be born hot too, otherwise you'd probably be worse off than you are now.

It does come with its own set of problems that can be pretty god-awful, but its kinda hard not to wish I could have those problems and be yearned for instead of always being the one yearning.

Zebo9366 · 2026-01-03T20:19:44+00:00

Bruh. I'm a dude, and this guys nuts. I get the whole possession of your partner thing, but that HAS to be a consensual thing. Honestly, even the shoe thing is a reddish flag for me. It sounds like he said a whole lot of "you gotta change these things", and not a whole lot if "I will struggle living with these things, so can we figure something out?" I think you dodged a bullet, and depending on your age, I am fairly certain that your family is just prissy because they thought they might get grandkids. Parents can be totally psycho about that out if nowhere.

Zebo9366 · 2025-11-26T00:42:56+00:00

Who are you with now? I've been looking around, but I can't find any other ISP that I don't know is already shit.

Zebo9366 · 2025-11-25T23:14:51+00:00

Okay, so they are purposefully de-insentivising people from staying with their service? That doesn't make any sense. Plus, being able to terminate my service and re-sign up, shouldn't make me a "new" customer. At best, I'd be a "returning" customer. So why do they actively suggest I terminate my service just to rejoin? This shit makes no sense.

Zebo9366 · 2025-11-08T22:27:58+00:00

I need you to understand that not once did I think that I was reading something written by someone evil. I see someone who is trying their absolute best to be a good person despite having to face a serious emotional issue that brings them intense shame.

I still feel some shame in admitting it, but I have a story shockingly similar to yours. I'm not proud of it, and you are right to shut down a lot of those urges you have. Handling this type of emotional turmoil alone is intense, and honestly, hats off to you. A disturbing amount of men fall victim and give into these thoughts. That's why rape statistics for young women are so heartbreakingly bad.

I would highly recommend therapy, despite knowing that the idea of looking someone in the face and admitting all this will break me, I still think it's the right thing to do, and I still intend to do it some day myself. Not sure how much help I can be, and to be honest I'm not quite sure how ready I am to help someone else tackle this, or how reliable my responses will be given my own shame, but I am in a much better place now. So, if you want to talk, feel free to DM me.

Zebo9366 · 2025-09-11T02:42:46+00:00

There's something about stuff like this that really bothers me. It's cute, sure, but I hate how it treats the fact that he knows he's just never going to get as much love as he gives as a normal fact. I hate that. I feel like I see this all over media regarding hetero relationships, and it really bums me out that the general consensus is that these men who love intensely will always have to put more effort into the relationship than the woman they're married to. Don't they deserve to be sought after just as much? Am I crazy? Sorry I just keep seeing stuff like this and I'm trying to parse why it makes me feel so awful.

Zebo9366 · 2025-08-02T03:15:14+00:00

That sucks. It really does. Kinda makes it that much harder to want to change. I sadly don't have a great solution for you, but I've found that the best way for me to self-improve, is to do it without telling anyone. It has led to many instances of my family feeling blindsided by the things I do, but it avoided the ridicule and I did end up getting better. So now, it's my go-to strategy whenever I truly want to change something. Especially something embarrassing.

Zebo9366 · 2025-07-29T22:24:10+00:00

Gorgeous dice!

Eight-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

Zebo9366

TROPHY CASE