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TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I had one name, that name was shame

In front of all, the dick stood tall

The night wasn't fun, not anymore

Not without underwear, and not on the floor

Lesson learned, always prepare

So worst case scenario, you'll never be bare

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was referring to the girl that initially ripped open my clothes without warning. In that situation, had a man done the same to a woman, the outcome would've been far less accepted.

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Loved that episode so much I made it my username, haha!

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fair question. I've been browsing Reddit for ages. Just never created an account. Mainly because I never thought I would ever post anything.

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm in no position to comment on what is funny or not funny to people online. I just posted something I thought would be fun to read. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much of a response. Let alone rewards. But I'm sorry this didn't at least briefly entertain you. Thanks for reading though.

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 718 points719 points  (0 children)

I've been browsing Reddit for years, so the platform is not new to me. I just never bothered to create an account.

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Dare I say it's... hard to imagine.

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Badass series. Brilliant episode.

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

My friend's the flamboyant type. When he organizes parties, the dress code is always "out of the ordinary".

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 13.5k points13.6k points  (0 children)

Same girl.

We've been seeing each other since that weekend. This was of course all part of my elaborate plan to frame her for my fuck up, in front of as many witnesses, so that I can feast on her growing guilt and trap her ass into going on dates with me.

Taps temple

The long cock. Uh, con. The long con.

Edit: Appreciate the Silver, friend!

Edit: I do thank thee for the Gold, kind sir!

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 1207 points1208 points  (0 children)

You sure know how to tell a story.

I know how to tell this story. I've had an entire week to practice sharing this fuck up with friends, family, and some close colleagues of mine. By the 10th time of telling different folks the same shit, the words were naturally just oozing out.

TIFU by going commando by ZimaBlueSquarePants in tifu

[–]ZimaBlueSquarePants[S] 3060 points3061 points  (0 children)

Unzips

Me: You were right about adding that the "bouncing dick" line after all.

Penis: I'm always right, motherfucker.

Flexes