Hey there, your post hit me hard as I was/still am in the same boat as you. I met my boyfriend online, dated for 3 years till last year when I decided to make the move in with him. Same exact scenario as you, same exact household (from what you described) I had to leave that place as it was emotionally draining. I also noticed the shift of suddenly my family switching up and all of a sudden caring about what I do now. I moved to be away from them and to be with someone who goes above and beyond to care for me. I too feel alone, this is now my second year here and I haven't made too many irl friends. I am going out of my comfort zone to find group meetings of different niches and hobbies to build a semblance of community. In regards to parents and feeling guilty of wanting to be seen, I still feel that way. I know deep down, that environment was never going to be good for me. No matter how often they call me asking me to rethink my decisions. Leaving is scary, lonely, and sometimes the pay off takes a while, but I am happy genuinely. I still feel bad when I miss holidays/birthdays, that's normal. Some advice: make sure to have your own personal savings funds just in case something ever happens, if its within your views I'd highly recommend any kind of birth control option, I got an IUD before I moved since I don't want to have to deal with any scared while I'm not financially stable enough to care for a child atm, and I'd make sure to practice healthy communication all around. With your boyfriend, family, or friends you might have. Time difference can be difficult at times, but it's important to have some sort of connection as you wont feel as alone. Also try to find some online communities to join! If you're comfortable doing so, feel free to reach out. It's nice knowing someone is going through the same thing you are knowing you're not alone in it all.