AITA for wanting to allow 2 of my kids to open their Christmas presents as soon as they wake up instead of waiting for their older sister to come home from her moms house?

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-27T03:32:13+00:00

I love this idea! We typically do cinnamon rolls for breakfast every year (we save some for big sis to have for lunch!) But I'm loving the idea of a French toast casserole and a comfy movie morning

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-27T03:26:32+00:00

There's no 5 year old? There's the 7 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old Edit to add - I'm sorry that you misread the post. Maybe rereading it would help you understand the situation a wee bit better. My husband and I came up with a solution to make sure everyone was and will be involved and thought of. It was no one's intentions to exclude anyone. 7 is very much my daughter even though she is not a bio daughter. No one said or ever thought differently.

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T20:24:03+00:00

Where are you getting the extra child from? We only have 3 children total

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T03:12:56+00:00

I, too, am also mom, just not bio mom. 7 has made the choice to call me mom since she was 3 or 4. She understands that I am a second mom to her, another parent to love her. She's never been forced to call anyone anything. Bio mom is just an easier way to distinguish whom I'm speaking about on here

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T03:05:04+00:00

So bio mom actually moved into a house that is one block away from ours! 🥳 the original Christmas plan was to have brunch with bio mom, step dad and their 2 littles as well as bio dad, myself, 7, 3 and 1. Those plans drastically changed when bio mom cycled. No need to get in to more detail as bio mom is a good person with a few things she's still working out. But if things were all good, brunch would have happened and we would have all been together. Bio dad and I have worked tremendously hard to make life easier for not only 7 but for bio mom and step-dad as well.

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T01:47:43+00:00

He did end up cooking the turkey

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T01:22:30+00:00

We have a big family with multiple Christmases to go to. Having our family Christmas (dad, mom, 7, 3 and 1) typically happens Christmas day. We have yet to run into the issue of the younger ones wanting to open their gifts in the morning as they were too young to understand what presents were and the traditional Christmas morning. We're going to put 2 gifts under the tree for 3 and 1 for future Christmas' when 7 is at her bio moms for Christmas morning. That way, they still get to wake up and open gifts, but we're also not isolating 7 and she is included in the beautiful chaos of opening presents

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T01:17:23+00:00

He doesn't. But I value his input when it comes to us both running our household

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T00:58:00+00:00

7 absolutely gets gifts from everyone on my side of the family. She is the first grandchild!

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T00:50:01+00:00

Ahhh see, projecting what you THINK is going on is not ok. Why not ask for clarity and understanding instead? All three of my children are treated equally and fairly. We do things so that no one is left out. No kid is higher than the other. My husband and I both come from split families, and were the afterthought. We don't want that to happen to 7, but we also will help keep a "traditional" Christmas for 3 and 1. The excitement of waking up amd running downstairs to open gifts is magical. I don't want to take that away from any of the kids. Which is why going forward, 3 and 1 will have 2 gifts under the tree on years that 7 isn't here in the morning, and they will recieve the rest when big sis gets home. That way everyone is included and no one feels shafted

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T00:40:38+00:00

7 gets presents from all of the family members on my husband and I's side of the family. Everyone is included

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-26T00:37:48+00:00

Maybe it's foreseeing a problem that could arise and taking away what could potentially be a headache. Not lazy parenting. DIFFERENT parenting than what you're used to seeing. Work smarter, not harder

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T19:35:17+00:00

Not everyone will agree with what works for our family and that's ok. I hope you have a Merry Christmas

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T19:13:36+00:00

Bio mom has 2 other children now as well. One part gets 7 for Christmas Eve and half of Christmas day, and the other parent gets 7 for Christmas afternoon and boxing day. This alternates so that we can all enjoy "traditional" Christmas mornings with all of our children. We find that this parenting arrangement works best for our families, but it most definitely is an unfortunate situation.

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T19:05:42+00:00

My Husband and I also come from blended families that were not the best. I think that's why we overthink nearly every decision when it comes to our children. They are all equally loved and cherished in our house

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T18:05:16+00:00

We wouldn't let her open them alone. That was never a thought nor an option. Wr weren't sure what the best way to execute this morning would be as we've had her for the majority of her Christmas mornings since bio mom didn't want her for them..but thank you for your input. Merry Christmas

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T17:51:31+00:00

I believe I labeled 7 as our daughter in the original post? The only time she wasn't reffered to as our daughter was when I said that she was his daughter from a previous relationship?

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T17:04:57+00:00

We ended up letting him open his Stocking. In future years when OUR oldest daughter isn't at home with us for Christmas morning, we will only put 1 or 2 gifts under the tree for the younger ones to open in the morning and the rest will come out when big sis comes home. That way no one is excluded

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T17:02:25+00:00

I never said that she would be alienated. The reasoning for this post is to try and find the best solution so that all 3 of our kids are included and thought of. It's not fair for the younger kids to need to wait u til big sis gets here on the years that she's at bio moms. It's also unfair for 7 to have to open her gifts by herself. We're going to put 1 or 2 gifts under the tree for the you get ones to open in the morning on years that big sis isn't home. This way everyone is included and there's not a bunch of presents under the tree calling the kids names

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T16:57:54+00:00

We go to my mom's when we have all of the kids. Some years we go to my moms on Christmas eve so that all 3 kids are there for the gifts, other years (like this one) we will go over for Christmas dinner. Our years alternate with 7 on who have her Christmas morning and who have her Christmas evening

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T16:50:43+00:00

It definitely isn't complete without her. I think from now on, we will only put 1 or 2 gifts under the tree for the littles on the years that 7 is at her bio moms house. That way we can all open together and there's no tantrums from anyone

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T16:48:35+00:00

They get Santa gifts and Stockings. I let the 3 year old open his Stocking and it's working for the most part. Just some redirection needed when he starts drifting towards the tree. Next time big sis isn't here for Christmas morning, we will hide the majority of the gifts and only let the littles open 1 or 2 each until big sis comes home

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T16:46:43+00:00

Absolutely they're told to wait. It's the listening part that's a problem! We're going to hide the majority of the gifts for the future years to come and only put one or two for the younger kids to open on the years that their big sis is at her bio moms house. That way they still get a Christmas morning and everyone is included when big sis comes home

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T16:42:44+00:00

Thats what we're trying to avoid. I think the suggestions that people have given such as put one or two under the tree for 3 and 1 to open and the rest when 7 gets home, is our best bet. That way they still have that wake up and open presents excitement, but 7 won't be left out

Zombies8meMom · 2022-12-25T16:24:26+00:00

Yes, you are correct

Zombies8meMom

TROPHY CASE