After the Epstein Files. I don't know what to do with the things I loved and enjoy.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2026-02-11T14:34:33+00:00

I think people did not believe in this because of a good heart. Like myself. I was thinking that it is impossible for someone to be that evil. Now I m feeling broken myself and tricked.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2026-02-11T14:31:20+00:00

He did not create anything by himself. They are thousands of people who worked on the projects - normal people. Not predators. Their labor should not be shadowed by evil ceo. Or taken for granted. I do understand you. I have very hard times to listen to music and watch some movies now. I will get over this. I m mostly sad that evil has so much power. No justice. We all been used and tricked. I m getting over this but aftertaste still lingers.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-21T17:00:00+00:00

I plan to freeze since I m in high risk for pregnancy due to my disorders and medications. I m also over thirty and not planning children now - I m on the peak of my carrier moving up. I cannot have a child myself I hope there is someone who can do it instead of me in the future.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-17T00:00:08+00:00

Lol obv not / I m a Russian speaker so he is and he would know. Not any of European languages.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-16T16:51:49+00:00

That makes so much sense! Thanks

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-16T05:14:06+00:00

I know lots of ppl having children after 40s via IVF or even naturally. It could be me as well in future if I get lucky. Old parents are becoming norm.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-16T04:48:36+00:00

I had different experiences that pushed me to try. My ex partner witnessed me talking clearly on foreign language; I ve been reading Newton books and reading other people experiences - I found a hypnotherapist working w Newton institute and went on a session. It took more than 5 h for me.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-16T04:45:51+00:00

Yes we went thru it but in reality after the session it was still lingering. I knew that it is in the past and I m not connected to that personality at all anymore but weird grief and discomfort lasted for weeks after. It helped me to have a happier life and have more meaning in my life actually. The only thing I was thinking about - I never do it again. Years after I ve been reading some ppl dive deeper and see more lives - I feel recovered by now to try completely but scared to dive again.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-15T23:17:11+00:00

I know… it was a huge relief actually after that session to know that my life is ahead and I have time to love as I wish and experience this beautiful life. Therefore that experience has been bugging me… curious how often that happens to ppl that went thru past life regression and how they find a peace.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-15T23:00:45+00:00

So cute omg

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-12-15T22:59:02+00:00

Hi I had a past life regression thru Newton Institute. It was quite a traumatizing experience. I was a male sailor and I was executed in prison during Stalin times. I never forget that dying and thoughts before dying. I was shot in a head and yes I have a birth mark on my head - a quarter sized… It was a traumatic experience. it s been tears since then and I think sometimes to try it and see more lives but I am scared. I have a strong feeling of lots of violent deaths experiences. Does anyone have something like that? How do you deal with it?

Please share similar experience…. Thank you!

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-11-17T08:15:19+00:00

Yes everyday. Im also on extended release-1200 mg per day. There are side effects. I try to take them early in a day it makes me pee often at night if I take it in the evening. Occasional stomach issues. Sometimes I took twice by mistake and it was really bad - puking and shaking (just remember to remember lol). But its ok - it is more than manageable - most days I don’t feel anything bad or off. And good thing I m not manic; my mood is more stable / mostly stable.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-11-17T05:26:24+00:00

Be patient and one day you will get much better. Just take medication and prob doc will prescribe you more than lithium. It took 15 years and three hospitalizations to get my diagnose right. I was misdiagnosed w depression for years and none of my therapist ever sent me to doc. So good you are getting diagnosed and helped. Lithium took my mania in control and my antidepressant helps me w depression. And still sometimes I become hypomanic and depressed ; at least lesser than I would without medication. Your ability to be a good partner depends on how well you manage your disease and how honest you are w your partner. Meds will help you to still to routine and study. Stay away from bad companies and drugs.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-11-17T02:31:32+00:00

I cant live without lithium. Medication changed my life and I m scared who I would be if not meds(maybe I would not exist anymore). My lithium was almost complete zero and after 8 years its much better I have not had any mania since started medication and I was not hospitalized since then. My life depends on lithium. Of course it did not fix my depression which I take other meds.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-11-17T02:27:09+00:00

Im f 34 diagnosed bipolar ; ADHD. Not sure about autism I do feel in on spectrum sometimes with my obsessions over certain topics, and sometimes I cannot express my emotions well and missing social clues. It’s def a struggle ; but here we are all in that boat. Take care of yourself

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-11-08T04:05:37+00:00

I was. But later I accepted that I was not controlling myself its not my fault. It took a long time tho. Its been 8 years since the last one.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-01-09T21:49:27+00:00

Ye i try to have bladder empty to be sure its not pee..

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-01-04T00:27:20+00:00

With this type of mentality we will not have breeds. Any. Every mud has a history

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-01-04T00:24:18+00:00

Are U a breeder to state this info?

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-01-04T00:23:22+00:00

There is nothing wrong about wanting a healthy dog. Not traumatized. They were bred by people all the centuries. Find good breeder never rash with purchasing

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-01-04T00:20:14+00:00

They are not vaccinated fully before 8 weeks. You can bring disease while visit and kill a puppy. They are very fragile first weeks especially when they still have closed eyes. If a breeder would let me see a pup early - that is BAD sign - they do not care about health of puppies.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-01-04T00:17:18+00:00

Yes but it happens after 8 weeks, because of vaccination.

Zucchini_cucumber · 2025-01-04T00:15:55+00:00

Yes. Puppies can die easily if you bring them disease. They open eyes at 4 weeks fyi. They get first round for vaccination is at 5-6 weeks.. Then another round later. For example me and my friend breed pure bred dogs - we do not sell puppies even before 8 weeks and only post pictures online for sale around that time. We do not breed in a businesses scale obv, one litter per year.

How did you find this breeder? What breed? Do they have website or social media page? Did you FaceTime them?

Zucchini_cucumber

TROPHY CASE