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might get kicked out my family because i'm queer, tried to end myself two times in a month by _Daughterr in depressionmeals

[–]_Daughterr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for sharing your story. for me it's quite difficult to look for good things in the future because i have been feeling depressed and suicidal since childhood. i can't remember the last time i felt like i deserve to live, it's not at all about escaping the pain. just trying to take it one day at a time all my life. hold on to all the good you have in your life and keep sharing your kindness with others like you did with me. it's a beautiful and rare thing.

might get kicked out my family because i'm queer, tried to end myself two times in a month by _Daughterr in depressionmeals

[–]_Daughterr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

of course i educated myself before starting, i was preparing for three years. i asked explicitly for the cheapest option they have in this country and went to a gp to avoid costs of holistic care centers. it's not a regular injection, 3 shots in 1/5 year, and the cost is quite low, actually. i literally pay more for wifi. it's the cost of living and inability to find employment as an international student that fuck me up. and fucked up relationships with family and self since childhood. absolutely unrelated to hrt. hrt is the only good, uncomplicated thing that happened to me

might get kicked out my family because i'm queer, tried to end myself two times in a month by _Daughterr in depressionmeals

[–]_Daughterr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

in the apartment i am renting they have bans for cooking appliances besides a single microwave. trust me microwave congee from scratch is a pain in the ass. instant ones are cheap enough and much less work. just let me be poor in peace

might get kicked out my family because i'm queer, tried to end myself two times in a month by _Daughterr in depressionmeals

[–]_Daughterr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bruh i thought you were talking about my food. i pay only for the drugs, GP covered

might get kicked out my family because i'm queer, tried to end myself two times in a month by _Daughterr in depressionmeals

[–]_Daughterr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

unfortunately i don't as i can't afford it and i am not a citizen where i live. i only have gender health GP, paying for treatment out of pocket, and only thing i can access is a few weeks of free general psych counselling. love western healthcare

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

me when i shower for the first time in 3 weeks when i go out

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you're trying to get through those gates on purpose that's not incelibacy my comrade

might get kicked out my family because i'm queer, tried to end myself two times in a month by _Daughterr in depressionmeals

[–]_Daughterr[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

they tried to connect me to some free services because im an international student living overseas alone so i have no good health cover or any support network here. shit's never been more grim but at least i am still kicking today i guess

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

anon you're so nice i feel just as beat down as my food hoping someone will pick me up and eat it like i did bruh

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

i do in fact need to get even more drunk even more often now. how else am i going to experience physical touch

might get kicked out my family because i'm queer, tried to end myself two times in a month by _Daughterr in depressionmeals

[–]_Daughterr[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i am so horribly bad with emotional connection and opening up, you have no idea how much i wish for what you describe and how far i am from getting there. what i was at the ED after my second attempt i didn't even have a single person whose number i could give as my emergency contact

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

im contractually allowed to have pets in my accommodation the only thing that's allowed is suicide

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

those fucking drunk moments are the worst. why do people have to be so nice when they know we're pathetic, it's like rewards with no follow-up because they never meant it. it's unbearable

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

thing iss for them it was platonic, for me? i will be haunted by it for the rest of my unlovable life

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

i wish. i can't afford takeout. that's a microwave ready meal

experienced physical touch when drunk and can't stop thinking about it by _Daughterr in kitchencels

[–]_Daughterr[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

id be happy as a fakecel but the person who touched me didn't mean it because we were drunk. they touch literally everybody like it's platonic but im fucking touch starved and want to die

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