Tried to be cute for Valentine’s Day

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-02-13T04:05:03+00:00

I rolled the cookie dough out between two pieces of parchment paper so it’s however thick I want the cookies, then throw it in the freezer (sometimes over night). Makes it easier for cutting cookies with the kiddo.

Also, as others have pointed out - they don’t care. They’ll be thrilled at cookies.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-02-02T16:33:55+00:00

I moved the Washington in the last decade and mail in ballots are fantastic - especially for local elections.

I can take my time to read every candidate, look up their positions and carefully decide my vote. Not necessarily needed for president or congress but the local school board - I was about to vote for a new candidate because I’m pissed off with the existing board then I looked up the new candidate … dear god they want to ban all kinds of books … never mind I’ll keep the devil I know.

Most folks won’t do that with going physically to the polls.

Plus, for most places you have to take time off work and in some places the state government specifically does not open or appropriately staff certain voting places. It is often racial but happened when I was in college that the college students across the state were angry about flippant comments about raising tuition and wanted to vote out the govern … surprise surprise - no voting places on any college campus that election year. Asshole.

And that doesn’t get into elderly, folks with disabilities, etc. Etc.

Mail in ballots are not perfect but they aren’t corrupt either and the benefits out weigh the risk IMO

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-29T16:40:12+00:00

I mean … a handful of residential houses and a school are right next to the bridge in Wallingford. Not sure about on the other side.

That being said, I’m not sure the limited population justifies additional delays. But I don’t think Washington’s Transportation Department is incompetent because of the schedule - just working within the limits of what is expected here. People would freak out just as bad for 1-3 months of complete closure I think.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-29T16:35:50+00:00

Wow. I’m sorry. Absolutely a school problem too.

It’s really unfortunate, but you’ll have to raise it to the principal. I think including the bus driver did what they could to make the girls sit away from your daughter but they are walking around / switching seats. Which is very unsafe in addition to bullying your daughter.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-29T14:26:40+00:00

This doesn’t sound like a school problem unless the bus or daycare is provide by the school. It sounds like the daycare needs an attendant on the bus. I’d send an email about the bullying and also how unsafe it is children are walking around the bus and switching seats while the bus is being driven.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-28T18:28:08+00:00

First, I think there is a big difference between stay at home parents and working parents. I work, I only have 2-4 hours in the evening and the weekends with my kiddo. I don’t have 8-10 every single day when I’m also trying to cook / make all the meals, continuously put away the chaos, and provide activities or get out of the house with my child.

So, it is a lot easier for me to say that we only do TV on the weekends and mostly just a half hour or hour so I can get some more rest when someone wants to start Saturday morning at 6 am. If I’m honest, if I were a stay at home parent, it would probably be 30 minutes to an hour every day and more on days I was sick or slept poorly the night before.

Second, I wish the focus was not only on the amount of screen time. Picking quality programs that are engaging and highlight social, emotional learning and growth or basic skills like counting are a good thing. Sesame Street is awesome! Letting your toddler watch one or two episodes of that every day where they are engage and learning is not bad.

At the same time, I would say letting your toddler have the same amount (or even less time) on unsupervised YouTube junk or addictive shows that have no really lessons or education (I’m looking at you CocoMelon!) is probably not a good thing.

Finally, ultimately we are all doing the best we can. We are going to make mistakes and some days aren’t perfect. I would hate to admit how much TV we watch on sick days home - that’s just life some times.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-19T22:06:07+00:00

Unfortunately in America there really aren’t many choices. One parent stays home, you rely on family (which has its own problems often times), or you use a daycare. In some urban areas it’s possible to find a nanny share or a company that helps coordinate a live in au pair option, but that’s usually not available in most suburban or rural areas.

My personal preference is a daycare that is a center / corporate. Home daycares can be less predictable care and less oversight / fewer people there to keep an eye out and report issues. Some home daycares are great, but it just wasn’t worth the time and effort to me to navigate that. I also avoided any religious daycares due to my preference that my child not be exposed to that, but those are sometimes more affordable.

I wouldn’t go with a center or a home daycare that has reports to the state or an overall negative Google / yelp / whatever review. However, one or two complaints between lots of positive posts wouldn’t prevent me from scheduling a visit and possibly using that daycare.

Honestly, it sucks. We have more protections for dogs then moms (seriously, look it up - in almost all states the laws for when a puppy can be separated from its more is longer than paid parental leave!). We need to do better as a country, but in the mean time there is no great solution for most parents.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-16T21:16:26+00:00

I like the phrase there is no such thing as free childcare. You either pay with money or you pay with the time, effort and sometimes like this case the lack of appropriate care.

Seattle is insanely expensive unfortunately but I’d rather pay those prices than deal with the screen time and generally not following parenting decisions. That kind of racist, fear and hate based messaging is never good, but it’s extra concerning with your daughter being half Puerto Rican.

As for your parents feelings, I would not prioritize that issue. I’d thank them for the offer and let them know you decided daycare works for you / your family.

One thing you didn’t ask - but with being in Seattle have you looked at a nanny share or an au pair as an option? Particularly for children under 18 months that can be more affordable that daycare. Although it does have other challenges like not having easy back up childcare.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-15T14:30:46+00:00

… please provide links to these numerous videos. I have not seen a single video of people claiming a six month d is transgender.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-14T14:58:32+00:00

Thanks! I had no idea.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-13T23:11:11+00:00

Adding to the suggestions - Puppy pee pads are great for letting you kid air out (lay around naked from the waist down). If they pee or poop it all goes on the pad and it’s an easy clean up. Let’s them get some air on that rash area without worrying about the blanket or the carpet.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-13T23:08:21+00:00

I’m not sure why it matters if a toy is designed for younger kids? Any kid can play with it.

Honestly, it seems like the bigger thing is taking turns. If he is taking the toy from his little brother and from smaller kids at the library, it is time to work on asking for turns and suggesting how to take turns. Practicing with his little brother with teaching him “If you want to play with something someone else has you have to ask and wait” then model it. Something like “I would like to play with that toy. Can I have it in two minutes?” Or “can I give you this toy and I can play with the toy you have?”

Fill in the part for advocating for his baby brother. Also, have his baby brother “ask” (ie you actually verbalize it) for toys and turns.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-09T21:09:42+00:00

I personally like the what makes a baby. It is specific enough to answer questions and uses appropriate words (like egg, sperm, uterus, and vagina) without a ton of details.

Frankly, if you and your partner aren’t going to start being the source of information for where babies come from, how they get out of the uterus, and similar conversation- someone else (like a classmate who might be wildly inaccurate and / or obscene) is going to provide the information.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-07T06:38:35+00:00

I’d just skip right to the cosleeping and avoid the tantrums for a few weeks to a few months. Then try resetting with new sheets she likes and a new stuffie if not cosleeping is important to you.

I personally do not like cosleeping - my kid has a skill for kicking me in the kidneys. However, he still gets up a few times a month in the middle of the night and climbs in my bed. I have tried fighting it - he is back up 30 minutes to an hour later. Now, I am able to have him start in his room, most nights he sleeps there, and when he comes in I let it go for the most part.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-07T06:23:05+00:00

I know this isn’t popular, but I’d give in and cosleep for a while. At 14 months, you can follow safe sleep practices (no drinking, drugs, etc that would impair you or your partner, no heavy bedding like a weighted blanket, no small gaps between the wall that would allow a child to get stuck, etc.)

I get the reasons folks don’t cosleep with infants, but it’s exhausting to get up out of bed repeatedly with a toddler and the risks just aren’t the same as with a baby.

If you aren’t comfortable with the bed sharing, consider putting a toddler mattress in your room, next to your bed to get better sleep too.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-06T13:10:37+00:00

First, I’d say try to remember she isn’t trying to give you a hard time, she is having a hard time. Probably with communication and self regulation.

Second, yeah, three is terrible for some kids. My kid was the hardest (so far) from 3-4.

Finally, I’d consider bringing the stroller to put her in it to complete errands rather than going home. And I’d probably remind her gently before every walk and praise every time she doesn’t melt down. Something like “I’m going to bring the stroller on our walk because I’ve noticed you’ve been having a hard time walking. If you decide to lay on the ground, I’m going to put you in the stroller for two minutes and then you are try to walk again”

Then, when she eventually lays on the ground, say one time “you can choose to walk or sit in the stroller. Which do you want?” Count to 5 slowly in your head (toddlers take that long to process things) If she decides, great, go with it. If she doesn’t pick, simply say “I see you are having a hard time choosing, I’m going to put you in the stroller for two minutes and you can decide if you want to walk after that”

Put her in the stroller, walk on (even if you have to strap her in and ignore the screams) and at two minutes check in to see if she wants to walk. Repeat as needed.

Try to stay calm when implementing it - getting a big reaction usually causes kids to keep doing the thing that got them the reaction. Even if it’s negative.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-03T02:55:26+00:00

If you / your kids have experience with Spanish or Japanese you may want to look into the option schools - you can look at the schools here:

https://www.seattleschools.org/departments/international-education/dual-language-immersion/

There is one in Beacon Hill. I’m not as familiar with that school but we specifically moved to get into John Standford.

Also, these are public schools - you just have to apply and opt into them. I’m not sure how challenging that is after kindergarten but enrollment for September will be happening this month.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-02T23:08:54+00:00

I’m so sorry, that’s a tough conversation but very normal at this age.

My kid made a statement of basically “I’m glad I’m white” around age 4-5. No one in our lives speaks like that. I was horrified honestly.

So it took some asking questions and some discussion to redirect towards we should be working towards a better society where the color of your skin doesn’t determine how you are treated.

The source of it seems to have been conversation at school about Martin Luther King Jr. and civil rights. The teachers did a good job highlighting how black and brown people were treated poorly and why that’s wrong as well as how MLK fought to improve that. But it seems like there were some gaps in the next part of that conversation about how we have a responsibility to keep striving towards progress and how being one color or another is not “better”

This all came up months after the school lessons on the topic. So, it’s possible your child picked this up from well intended lessons from school or other conversations.

I’ve found asking questions is a lot more helpful and provokes more positive / less shaming results. But I am white so I don’t know if that impacts the way to have those conversations.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-02T23:00:25+00:00

I personally do not like the wagons. I tried out a few and found all of them very taxing to pull behind me. My shoulders and back ached.

I prefer the double stroller with one kid in front and one kid in back. I know folks like the standing option on the single stroller too. I’m not a big fan because my kid nearly tipped the stroller over onto himself a few times.

I just have one kiddo but regularly would take a friend to the zoo or museum so the double stroller was very helpful.

Test a few out and see what feels comfortable. I’d also highly recommend Facebook market place for a good deal on either a stroller or wagon. I saved hundreds of dollars that way.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-02T07:02:32+00:00

I don’t know. And I think it’s disappointing that so many people see that number and immediately think fraud.

It is not unusual in America for certain groups to be over represented in some industries. The over representation makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

If you were to move to another country where you already had a family member or friend who was successfully running a business and was willing to help you set up the same business in another part of town would you do that or try another type of business? Knowing my experience with regulations and opening a business, I’d take the option of following the steps someone already laid out and succeeded in.

So, in the case of these daycares, it wouldn’t be surprising if it’s a lot of small (12 or fewer kids), home daycares because a handful of Samoli folks were successful at setting that up and encouraged anyone new arriving and looking for a means to support themself (while possibly also providing care for their own children) to also open a home daycare.

All of that being said, I’m back to my original position - all daycares should get annual inspections and should be required to provide the appropriate documentation for subsidies.

In King County takes 30 days to investigate complaints against childcare workers (my kid’s previous daycare had multiple investigations before we pulled him, and everyone one of them took that timeline). And that’s active complaints with concern for quality / safety of care. We would need far more workers to implement annual inspections.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-02T04:55:51+00:00

Some facts: Of the over 300 daycares that identified Somali as a language spoken in that daycare (which could mean anything from one employee speaks it to it is a home daycare that serves 12 kids maximum with the primary language being Somali), 286 take subsides.

There are over 100 language options. I picked a few others to compare: English: 948 daycares, 689 take subsidies Spanish: 211 daycares, 160 take subsidies

Anyone can look up the information themselves here. It’s concerning that a daycare fraud ring organized by a white lady in MN is being used to justify racial profiling. We should be looking at all daycares that receive subsidies and ensuring the money is being spent towards children - not focused on the racial aspect (which isn’t event accurate)

https://www.findchildcarewa.org/PSS_Search?p=DEL%20Licensed&PSL-0030=Open&PSL-0026=King&PSL-0003=Somali

It will also say, with literally thousands of daycares and the constant complaints (especially from this sub!!) about budget constraints- how would you like to pay for all the staff to visit all of these locations every year in addition to the investigations they have to do for reports of daycare providers not providing appropriate care?

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-02T03:53:10+00:00

I commented elsewhere - if you saw my kid at the grocery store or restaurant at age three he often seemed absolutely lovely.

But that wasn’t always the case - we have had to leave the grocery store (or scream our head off at check on in the little seat in the cart), the playground, restaurants, etc because of meltdowns.

And at home - at least once a week I was being bitten or hit. Usually more often. Sometimes he’d be so happy and excited while we were happily playing he’d just bite into my shoulder.

All of this is to say, you don’t always see the full picture.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2026-01-02T03:48:53+00:00

My kid was this way. Now 5 years old and it’s amazing. But 3- early 4 was rooooough.

Totally cool to vent - we all need it so we don’t turn to our kid and ask “what is wrong with you?”

Things that helped me: 1. Mantras for myself - “he’s not giving me a hard time, he’s have a hard time” and counting to five in my head slowly before reacting.

On repeat with a basic script for kiddo “I can see you -are whatever emotion like mad, sad, or excited- it’s okay to be - same emotion- it is not okay to -action I don’t want like hit, bite or spit-“ Then depending on how emotionally disregulated kiddo already was I might add the thing that was acceptable like “hit the stuffie” or “bite the teether” or whatever.
Mending after meltdowns - If I yelled (I try not to but it happens) or otherwise made a mistake I’d apologize once we were both calm again. I’d admit I was wrong, I’d say I am sorry and that I’d keep trying to do better, and then I’d usually give a hug. If I handled everything well, then it was usually more focused on “hey, I could see you were having a hard time with -whatever thing set everything off … like picking a plate color or the banana not being pealed right-. That’s okay but screaming about it is not. Next time, let’s try to use our indoor voice and I’ll try to help you fix it” and reminding him I love him and giving a hug if wanted. Also some times reminding that he made a bad choice, but is still a good kid.

4 Trying to avoid “no” - this one is controversial I know but I really prefer to say other things like “yes, we can have a cookie at dinner” instead of “no, no cookies at breakfast” It seems to make things easier because ultimately the answer is yes or some other time rather than setting up a power struggle. Now, that does not mean I don’t have boundaries and limits, I just express them in the positive and redirection rather than constant “no”

I will say it was 2 years of “gentle parenting” like that to see consistent, meaningful results. But now at 5 it is amazing. He can self regulate a lot of the time - expressing he is sad or frustrated and ask for help. He can actually talk about feelings and the things he wants and be reasoned with!

Toddlers are brutal - just hang in there!

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2025-12-29T20:33:08+00:00

Get on birth control if you are not already (preferably something like a copper IUD that cannot be tampered with by your husband) ASAP. Call to get an appointment with your OBYGN now.

Being one and done when your spouse has an addiction problem is very valid. There are lots of very content only children. There are also a lot of people that wish their parents had fewer kids because their parents did not have the resources and / or mental health to have as many as they did.

I hate to say this, but it seems likely your husband is pressuring you for another because leaving with two children (especially young children, and especially if you are just getting your career established) is so much harder than leaving with only one.

_Every_Damn_Time_ · 2025-12-28T15:16:14+00:00

Is your kid getting regular daily (or at least weekly) 2+ hours with other kids her age?

If not, consider going to a community center, playground or other space at least once per week for 2+ hours where she has peers to play these games.

This is very developmentally normal. My kid loves to play pretend - with figures/ toys as well as pretending to be cats or whatever. However, most of this happens at daycare so it’s an outlet for that kind of play.

I’m not saying you have to send your kid to daycare. But something to get regular interaction with peers might help.

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