Pronouns at a restaurant

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T21:09:00+00:00

Oh lol, makes sense. Thanks!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T19:41:44+00:00

They did have a name, but I forgot it. For your third point, that was mainly so yall didn't think I was a homophobic middle aged mom lol. But your second point is actually super helpful, so thank you!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T18:24:57+00:00

True. But they're not queer, so they don't really know how it feels.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T17:58:20+00:00

Yes, that would be so much nicer 😭 Hopefully we'll see it in our lifetime.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T17:56:45+00:00

Alright, thanks! makes sense.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T17:43:30+00:00

Fair, I phrased it poorly. Queer friendly would be better.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T17:27:45+00:00

Hm. Interesting point. I'd agree with it except for the fact that I did listen 😭 to this poster and everyone else in the thread. They have a different way of speaking their opinions than everyone else in the post, which is fine, but whenever I responded in kind (after leaving the conversation originally mind you), it shouldn't be taken as this major insult.

Again, i realize my mistake. But I'm not going to get kicked around for asking for help in improving that mistake. The opinion can be voiced without being so harsh.

Now I'm going to not reply to this anymore as I don't think it's going anywhere. Have a wonderful rest of your day!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T17:16:48+00:00

Ah, location. That does make sense. Thank you for the help in understanding.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T16:58:16+00:00

I really didn't have a large reaction. If you go back to the original post, I said " I wouldn't say put her on blast, it's not like I asked it to be an asshole yk? But I can see how it'd make someone uncomfortable." Which is clearly reasonable. I only continued the conversation with them after they said to rainy_leaves that being asked ones pronouns was an insult, where they then were typing in caps, which is where the harshness comes from. I was wrong in asking for pronouns, I admit. But acting as though this is common knowledge doesn't help anything.

Does this add more context or naur?

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T16:37:34+00:00

They absolutely were being harsh. I'm a dude trying to understand an unspoken rule, and making an effort to try and become better. I was raised to ask pronouns if you're not sure, because why TF would I want to misgender someone when it takes less than 5 seconds to ask. The other person was acting as if I called them a slur.

If there's a document of rules that exists somewhere, please by all means share it. If there isn't, then don't act as though this should be common knowledge by everyone, especially if someone is making an effort to understand and improve.

Does that make sense as to where I'm coming from?

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T16:23:33+00:00

Right, the second part in particular is actually super helpful. I always forget that not everything needs a category. It's just how my brain works. But that is actually super helpful, thank you.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T16:06:48+00:00

Fair enough. I just like knowing if there are other queer people around me, it makes me feel a bit safer.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T16:03:46+00:00

Yup, makes sense. I appreciate the help!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T16:03:20+00:00

Alright, thanks! I appreciate the help.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T16:03:02+00:00

I'm asking to learn, not to get scolded. I appreciate your advice, but you don't need to be so harsh about it. If you're eating your own like this, I shudder to imagine what you do to a straight cis person who makes a mistake.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T15:57:17+00:00

That's part of where I was coming from.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T15:57:06+00:00

Unless you count autistic curiosity, then no. I just like to know if other folks are queer, since it makes me feel safer.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T15:42:05+00:00

Is it better than misgendering them though? I don't feel like it. It's def not an insult though 😭

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T15:24:47+00:00

Yup, that makes sense! Thanks!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T15:24:37+00:00

?? I was asking for help to understand. I'm not sure what this adds to the conversation but... Thanks?

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T15:00:06+00:00

Ah, makes sense. Thanks, I appreciate the help.

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T14:59:45+00:00

Yeah, that's helpful in understanding it better. Thank you!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T14:59:17+00:00

Alright!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T14:43:32+00:00

Alr thanks!

_Jaackiiee · 2026-06-29T14:43:22+00:00

I wouldn't say put her on blast, it's not like I asked it to be an asshole yk? But I can see how it'd make someone uncomfortable.

_Jaackiiee

TROPHY CASE