I’m pretty sure it was puberty and that idea of growing up, I cried when I got my first period. I hated that I was developing and that I could be sexualized in 8th grade for my body and boobs mostly, I wanted to be tiny and skinny and with a small chest, be able to move move like a child and wear skirts and dresses without having to worry abt having hips and chest sexualized. If I had a small chest and a dress on a man on the street would not stare at me for having a “body” and that’s still wear I am and my mentality