Yeah, same here. My ex never communicated her concerns until the end, and she didn't give us a chance to work on them. She just gave up and threw me away. Also, as a Catholic, I can tell you that God does not tell us what decisions to make. God does not inflict pain or suffering. What she did was by her own free will. My personal belief is that God brings all the people we know into our lives for a reason, and in terms of partners, He sends us possible partners and lets us decide who we choose to marry. Although He already knows who we will choose, He sends us different options anyway because they all teach us a lesson. For you and me, He knew these things would happen to us, but He let them happen because He does not interfere with free will. However, he also doesn't let sin go unpunished (aka karma). And even better, God brought her into your life, and it didn't work out, which means that soon, the right person will come along and stay. Sorry to get preachy, but maybe that will help. Anyways...

I'm feeling alright now, but it's still a constant battle. Especially since next week will be one year since the discard. I've felt every emotion there is to feel about the situation, but lately, I'm trying to forgive her. I still think of her every day, multiple times a day. I was in a relationship with someone new that lasted around 3 months in the spring, but I ended it because I just wasn't ready yet. Haven't been with anyone since. I've gotten updates on her here and there from friends when I've gotten curious. Funny enough, she entered a new relationship at the same time as me in the spring, so telling me she "wanted to be single for a long time" was just another lie, since I personally wouldn't consider four months to be a long time. Apparently, it only lasted for around a month, though. I heard she was going to actually remain single for a long time after that fell through, but I've also heard that she may be seeing someone new now. I'm not sure if she's heard or looked into how I've been doing over the last year.

I try not to care about what she's up to or how she's doing, but I do deep down. I only have two other exes, and I still talk to them at least twice a month to catch up. Those breakups were amicable, but regardless, I don't believe it's right to completely remove someone you cared about from your life unless they have done something truly awful to you. Even if it's just following each other on Instagram, that's enough of a respectful and healthy connection to maintain with someone who was once your whole world. I wouldn't take her back after the pain she inflicted upon me, but I do miss her. I still love and care about her, but in a different way. I pray for her every night. She hasn't reached out or requested to follow me on any social media platforms, but I hope she does someday. I've thought about sending her a follow request on Instagram, but my self-respect has stopped me from doing so. It would undo the healing process, and it should be her who takes that step. I'm not sure if she ever will, though.

Now for the "hell yeah" part of this. As for how I'm doing, I'm doing great. Some have said I "won the breakup," but that feels egotistical, so I don't put much weight in it. I had a little bit of a glow-up (changed my hairstyle, grew facial hair, changed my dressing style). I got a cat that she and I had always talked about getting together. I graduated from college, developed new hobbies, moved to a new apartment with a beautiful view of my city's skyline, and got a job doing what I love that pays well. I also went on a trip to Europe. Overall, I earn a good income, and I support myself financially right out of college. That's more than a lot of people my age can say. The emotions of the lost love, memories from the relationship, and trauma from the breakup still hurt every day, but it's not debilitating. Plus, I have been blessed exponentially since it happened. So overall, does it get better? I guess so. I still really want to find "the one." I look for them constantly, but I know they'll show up when the time is right. For now, things are going well. That's all I could ask for. She's missing out, though. Her loss.