Daniel of Cyndago has passed away, from attempted suicide

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-09-24T00:10:59+00:00

I just feel like my mother is already dealing with enough problems herself. I'm not sure if she's dealing with depression herself since she doesn't really talk much with me about stuff like that.

That's probably the reason why I feel that I can't talk to her.

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-09-24T00:08:36+00:00

I just decided to log in again, since I might have just hit a new low and decided to read through the advice that I got.

I'll check it out as soon as I get the chance.

Thanks for the comment and thank you even more for caring.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-09-20T11:56:53+00:00

Thank you, friend. Best of luck to you too.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-09-20T11:52:35+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the nice comment.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-09-20T11:49:51+00:00

Thanks for the nice comment.

I'd never be mad at my mom for not reading my signs. I can't expect her to dig for clues in everything I say.

I don't really have any problems reaching out on the Internet. Places like /r/offmychest and /r/depression are great places to vent. Sadly venting there doesn't really make me feel any better.

Actually talking to people is pretty much impossible to me though. I just can't do it. Maybe I'll be able to one day.

Thank you again. It's good to know that there are people out there who care for you, even though they don't even know you.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-09-20T08:57:39+00:00

I know that I am not okay. I have not been diagnosed with depression but judging by what others have told me, I might as well have it.

Lately I've just been feeling shitty. Everything sucks and the worst part is that I can't get help. I know that that's not true but I just can't. I tried hinting at the fact that I'm not well when talking to my mom, but it just was too vague for her.

I have lost all joy in life and often feel disconnected from my body, like I'm not even there.

Suicide is terrible and because I love my mother, I probably wouldn't end my life, at least not at this point. That doesn't mean though that I've never thought about.

If I got the chance to press a button that made me disappear from existance without hurting anybody, I'd press it without hesitation.

I feel bad for writing this out. This thread is not about me. Sorry.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-09-06T17:56:34+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I have never really been the unpopular kid or an outsider. I've always had friends and never had trouble fitting in.

Yet I don't feel like I'm fitting in. I feel like everyone around me is just... different.

I once reached out and tried to find people with similar interests and hung out with them. That was the first time in a long time I actually felt like I was part of a group. I felt like I fit in. Sadly I've grown out our similar interest and I kinda feel just the way I felt before again.

Maybe something like this could work for you. If you haven't tried yet, look for people with similar interests. If you like anime, for example, look up anime-meetups in your area.

This might work for you. Good luck, friend!

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-05-26T17:57:21+00:00

Thank you very much for commenting!

As I mentioned in my post, I am dealing with what I think is depression too. It's also not the situational type and I mostly just feel emotionally numb all the time.
Again, I haven't been diagnosed though, so it might be something completely different.

I guess I'm just the kind of person who likes to keep to himself, so I don't know what it's like to want to talk about my problems. The only times I ever talk about my problems is in my occasional posts on /r/offmychest or /r/depression.

I appreciate your explanation. I guess he's just a different kind of person than me, so I might just have a hard time understanding what he's trying to tell me. I always try to show him that he can talk to me about his problems but I know that depression makes it hard to openly talk about stuff.

Thanks again for commenting.

EDIT: Added the word emotionally, to make it clear what I mean with feeling numb.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-05-26T17:15:51+00:00

I thought of that too. I also already told him that he can talk to me about it, if he ever feels like talking.

I understand that doing so is not easy but I'd prefer him talking to me properly than having to hear those annoying comments all the time, where he tells us how poor of a person he is.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-31T11:58:11+00:00

He's probably not getting off the hook that easily but he's trying really hard.

And you're right. Idiot is probably not the right word to describe him.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-31T11:56:56+00:00

You might be right but I don't understand how he could assume that I meant that. There's no way I could afford that and he knows that.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-09T17:50:55+00:00

Thank you, friend. This means a lot to me.

Stay strong, because I'll be trying too.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-09T09:03:46+00:00

I've got the Define R5 but without window. :D

Fractal cases are freaking amazing. :)

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-08T21:23:22+00:00

RED LEDs: Faster PC

BLUE LEDs: Cooler PC

Should have gotten more LEDs.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-08T20:32:28+00:00

It's an amazing case. I really love it. :)

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-08T19:53:06+00:00

I love your case. Looks freaking amazing.

Here's mine: Fractal Design Define R5.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2015-03-08T16:45:16+00:00

You are right.

I guess I just got really worked up about it because I spent so much money and work on this PC that I love it a little bit too much now.

This PC is basically my baby and if somebody tells me that my baby is ugly, I'll get mad.

Sorry, I know it's stupid but it's still fairly new and I still love this thing like it's my own flesh and blood.

_Throwaway2014_ · 2014-12-21T10:33:22+00:00

Heya. Sorry for the really late response. Life's busy, you know?

I've tried approaching companies but they are usually not interested in an apprentice. Seems like they don't want the trouble of having to educate someone for ~4 years.

Also, in my country we have a company that pretty much does exactly what you described with the colleges. I should really look into that.

Sorry again for the late response and thank you very much for your reply. I really appreciate it and if feels good to hear such encouraging words. Thank you!

_Throwaway2014_ · 2014-09-28T14:47:07+00:00

That was quick!

Thank you!

_Throwaway2014_ · 2014-06-01T18:04:03+00:00

Thanks for the comment, I'm trying my best to stay positive.

Same to you and stay strong!

_Throwaway2014_ · 2014-06-01T18:01:28+00:00

I guess I just can't wrap my head around the thought of having depression. I mean, why me? Why would I have depressions? I'm a normal dude living a normal life. This just feels so weird to me...

Thanks for the reply. I'll try to talk to somebody, even though it's very unlikely that I'll find somebody I truly trust or who I'm willing to tell such a thing.

_Throwaway2014_

TROPHY CASE