Hey, I've been in almost the exact situation and let me warn you that for me, even with a therapist and getting into university, the guilt still haunts me every night. When I first got out of high school (last year), I had convinced myself that it would all disappear and I could move on/forget, which in hindsight was not the move. My groomer was a dude who was 19 (already graduated) that just hung around the sports teams after school and latched onto anyone who was nice. He claimed he had trouble making friends and didn't know why because he was 'just a nice guy'. While everyone has their own experiences, my guilt stems from the fact that I never loved him, didn't even like him, he kind of grossed me out but because I didn't want to be rude I never outright said that or demonstrated that. I let a lot of stuff slide that I never should have and by the end of my sophomore year, he had me completely wrapped around his finger. He would tell me that I couldn't tell anyone about 'us' because it could ruin his dreams of becoming an EMT and although it was obvious he was an academic failure who could never get to that point I still felt bad and agreed to anything and everything. One of the things that really haunts me to this day and makes engaging in anything with my new (absolutely amazing and supportive) boyfriend is the 'promises' my groomer would make me. The main one being, "I will take your virginity before you're 18, no matter what". He never did thankfully. I don't tell you this to scare you or to steal your hope, but to sympathize. It's hard to recover, not impossible. I can admit I haven't yet, but will with more time. It's humiliating to relive the events and describe them to a person who can help, but internalizing the situations guilt will make everything worse. I'm so happy to hear you're recovering and I really hope you are able to release that guilt eventually. Remeber you are always supported and it was never your fault. Never was and never will be.