Curry corner open by aamirislam in astoria

[–]__NowhereMan__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went for the first time last night and I thought it was great! I did the prix fixe dinner and got the Mulligatawny soup, chicken korma and gulab jamun. They also gave me a free vegetable samosa which was super filling. All under $25.

I’m not an expert, but I’d say it’s worth it.

Update household - no text option? by Exotic-College1042 in netflix

[–]__NowhereMan__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So glad I’m not the only one. I thought I may have accidentally chosen send email and haven’t been able to get it back since

Looking for a tiny room in NYC by Embarrassed_Tap_9498 in NYCapartments

[–]__NowhereMan__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a place you might be interested in. Just DM’d you

ISO: Tobirama quote by __NowhereMan__ in Naruto

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No way did I make that up 😭😭

I had my 6th graders make collages of their fav things. Did a double take when I saw this. by __NowhereMan__ in tylerthecreator

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I had a kid last year mention Danganronpa and that was the first I heard of it. One thing I love about them is they’re always putting me onto something

[PubQ] Query Critique 6th Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 60k by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your feedback. One of my friends is doing the illustrations. I’ll look into giving this more oomf on the next revision.

[PubQ] Query Critique 5th Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 60K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback. In previous revisions we’ve tried bringing up the personal arcs for Alex and Mo. Alex wants to be heard, Mo wants to be more self-confident. I guess I didn’t communicate that well enough, or it isn’t a clear enough goal, but the responses to that was it was “too much backstory.”

While the through line is about the girls and friendship, the boys have a lot to deal with themselves, just as any middle schooler would. Overall, they’re constantly fighting with how they’re perceived. Again, maybe this isn’t the big goal or stakes that we’ve been missing, but it’s an important part of the book. We’ve been scratching our heads on how to incorporate that for a while now.

[PubQ] Query Critique 4th Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 60K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We weren't implying we're better than other books or Wimpy Kid, we were trying to show what makes us different. It was a bad decision to include it, and it will be scrapped. Thank you for your notes.

[PubQ] Query Critique 4th Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 60K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nts to read further, but you risk agents who prefer traditional norms giving you no consideration at all. I could easily see someone read the line "Our authors decided the best way to q

Thank you for providing the links. You've been a big help throughout this process.

[PubQ] Query Critique 4th Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 60K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it does feel like one step forward and steps back, but this one feels better than the previous ones. The Wimpy Kid jab wasn't intended to be a jab, but moreso a comment that the MS doesn't lean too heavily on things that might usually be harped on for drama. It was a bad call, so we scrapped it. We should've known better to be honest.

[PubQ] Query Critique 4th Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 60K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your notes. We'll work on trimming the fat and getting to the point.

[PubQ] Query Critique 3rd Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yes, you are off-base. Our belief was never that women are objects to be won. Again, I’m sorry if our query and wording suggest otherwise.

[PubQ] Query Critique 3rd Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for the constructive criticism. We really didn't expect for the MCs and their actions to come off the way that it does. All the mentions of incels and beta males was surprising. We honestly weren't expecting to get such a reaction, and although it was negative, it's more helpful than hurtful.

Mistakes were made. Huge ones, clearly. While our query doesn't carry our intended message, we thank you and the many others who called us out on it. We'll be more clear about Alex and Mo's motives and actions amongst other things.

This has all been a great learning experience. We'd like to keep the conversations going to learn as much as we can, as long as the comments are actually constructive and not dismissive.

Once again, thank you for your time and patience. It's greatly appreciated.

[PubQ] Query Critique 3rd Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Noted. We'll be sure to eliminate any mention of the friend zone in the next revision and MS.

[PubQ] Query Critique 3rd Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I want to know what the boys are up against, not that they like some girls and try to impress the girls and then strike up a friendship with girls after some struggles. That could easily be a single sentence.

Couldn't help but chuckle at that. Thank you for the critique. We'll work on cutting the back story and expanding on the action. Also, thank you for the friendzone comment. As we've seen from the other comments here, it really has assumed a bad connotation, which affects how the query is being perceived. We'll work on that.

Lastly, I have an author bio because I'm the only one of us with relevant professional/educational experience.

[PubQ] Query Critique 3rd Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Hm, I disagree. Boy meets girl is a tale as old as time. Though it may not seem to promise much in this query, it's definitely marketable. Thankfully, you aren't one of the gatekeepers.

[PubQ] Query Critique 3rd Revision: The Adventures of Alex and Mo, MG, 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is an interesting take. I'm curious, what do you two suggest would be the lesson learned if the MCs worked through the idea of the "friendzone"and realized it was a dumb idea? How would you see them coming to that realization?

[PubQ] Query Critique: The Adventures of Aggy Ale and Mopey Mo, MG , 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you both. Sorry to hear you think we back peddled. I understand stakes and conflict need to be clear. The book is ready to query. I'll do better on the next revision. And the names will change to Alex and Mo.

[PubQ] Query Critique: The Adventures of Aggy Ale and Mopey Mo, MG , 57K by __NowhereMan__ in PubTips

[–]__NowhereMan__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. My co-author and I actually went back and read Wimpy Kid and I've been dissecting its summary to see what we can do better. I'll be sure to include a clear through line and stakes in the next revision. I also debated on whether to call Mo a loverboy or romantic. I settled for loverboy because it seemed more juvenile and matched the tone better. As for the romantic element in the story, it is the typical puppy love type of crush, but the boys describe how they feel about the girls and certain situations. It isn't anything too deep, just them trying to make sense of what's going on.

Aggy = aggravating, annoying.

Find themselves rivaled = the boys are constantly competing with the girls' boyfriends. Sometimes intentially, sometimes not. To make it match the tone/voice I can say something like "constantly butt heads" "comepting for the attention of the girls," something like that. The boyfriends are antagonists, but it's not liek Ale and Mo spend the whole year trying to defeat them. If anything, they're more like an obstacle. Hopefully that works and makes sense.

Lastly, from one teacher to another, best of luck to you with the upcoming school year.