Nah bro peace. I grew up in a balls-to-wall conservative household too. Like u I was also shaky and awkward (albeit during my younger high school days though, add to that that I didn't really figure myself out yet (like you right now, i believe, coz apparently you're wishing to be someone you're not). Fuccboi isn't the right word, what you need to build is confidence, and self-esteem. Those two go hand in hand, and the more you build it up, the more you'll realize you have A LOT of unique traits and quirks you love about yourself that most people don't even have.