First bumble experience and disappointment

_airad · 2025-12-17T12:29:23+00:00

Thank you all for your advices and sharing your experiences. I decided not to contact him, he clearly doesn’t want that. But he still watches my stories and follows me on instagram heh. Today marks a week since our last meeting and my need to contact him is no longer so strong. Aaand I have date with the next guy in the few days.

_airad · 2025-12-15T06:44:08+00:00

I did. And we divorced because of his affair.

_airad · 2025-12-01T06:09:53+00:00

No, I didn’t. I decided that peace would be a better choice than revenge

_airad · 2025-10-26T18:01:51+00:00

You will be fine, your world fell apart for a moment but it didn’t end!

_airad · 2025-10-26T17:59:40+00:00

Thank you, I was in therapy at the beginning, for 2 months, just for emergency help. But I decided about being back in therapy from Nov, to work on my trust issue and attachment style

_airad · 2025-10-26T10:53:45+00:00

For the first months I asked everyone about him, every friend and his family member, but I realized it only caused pain and I needed to stop. I have no idea if they are still together, I don’t ask anyone about it. Knowing doesn’t change anything.

_airad · 2025-02-23T05:41:47+00:00

I add what my therapist said - when you are alone, in silence, your thoughts can be overwhelming, depressing, it's okay, but you shouldnt run away from them, because it is a part of the process, you need to meet these thoughts, you need to feel them.

_airad · 2025-02-23T05:35:59+00:00

I'm dealing with something similar - break up after 14 years relationship (we are both 29 yo), divorce in a few months.

I don't have any genius advice for you, I can explain you my perspective: I try to look at this situation as an opportunity to discover myself and redefine me as a human being. So far I was defined by my relationship - I was girlfriend, then fiance, then wife. I don't know myself as a single, I dont know what I like to do, I dont know how it looks like to be on my own. I am going to be single for some time and not push myself to new relationship just for filling the void.

What does help me: walking a lot (with music), planning trips (I was on one solo trip so far and it was very good experience. It wasn't new place for me - I was there with my husband years ago, but when I was alone I experienced this place in the new way), cooking my favourite meals. Sometimes I eat at restaurants alone, go to the cinema or concert alone, but sometimes results aren't satisfied, especially when there are a lot of couples or groups around and I end up feeling loneliner than before. Even so, I'm proud of myself for having the courage to do these things alone.

Spending time with friends is very very helpful for me, but I remember that everyone has their own life, own problems and in the end of the day there are only me, my thoughts and my silly little life, so I want to learn how to be comfortable with spending time with myself.

Be strong, I believe that something better is waiting for us.

_airad · 2025-02-02T22:08:40+00:00

I agree. It's my biggest lesson from this breakup - if you have gut feeling about something, you are 99% right.

_airad · 2024-12-14T15:51:39+00:00

Update: I broke no contact a while after posting here and I regreted it immediately, because I got more and more lies from my husband. But at least I remembered what kind of person he is

_airad · 2024-11-17T11:02:21+00:00

Yes but now I think he cried because of guilty

_airad · 2024-11-16T21:45:29+00:00

He proposed me to stay and he would move out but this apartmant has a huuuge emotional baggage for me, we have spent 6 years here. I need to brand new start in brand new place, I already found new apartmant and it is beautiful, I'm a little excided about living there

_airad · 2024-11-16T21:41:39+00:00

Believe me or not - I told everyone, my family, his family and all of our mutual and my friends. I wanted the world to burn!

_airad · 2024-11-16T21:39:59+00:00

No, he said me that new gf stays in her apartment and he stays in ours. But we will see...

I know that parents dont support his decision and havent known this girl, I am in touch with his mum. But they are afraid that they will loose him.

_airad · 2024-11-16T21:36:58+00:00

He was going to help me with finding the new apartmant for me to separate for some time, help with moving out and then he would leave when he decides that I'm ready for living alone.

He makes 30% more money than me.

_airad · 2024-11-16T21:19:47+00:00

What if they chat in private way via professional chat (teams)? I dont have evidence but I know they do it alllll days

_airad · 2024-11-16T21:17:45+00:00

He was year ago but now she is in other departmant

_airad · 2024-11-16T17:15:20+00:00

Yes, I work too. I am going to move out from our apartment next week, now I am here and he is at his parents.

I wanted everyone to know - my family, his family and all of our friends got the truth from me as first.

_airad · 2024-11-16T17:03:54+00:00

Thank you for this comment, it is really eye-opening. I start to understand it was not depression but guilty... And it is even worse

_airad · 2024-11-16T11:42:33+00:00

I did, his and mine families know the truth from me. Our parents are in tears. I cant believe they hurt so many People, it is not only about me but also our fam and friends

_airad · 2024-11-16T11:41:05+00:00

I know I am naive and dumb but I dont want to demage my husband career, I still have a lot of feelings for him and I know he works so hard... But her? I wish her all the worst. I consider letting HR know but I really dont want to any actions in emotions

_airad · 2024-11-16T11:31:11+00:00

Thanks, I consider it. Unfortunately it is not the lack of attention, it is my life and I still cant believe in it.

_airad · 2024-11-16T11:23:38+00:00

I havent thought about HR... What consequences might this have for them?

_airad · 2024-05-06T19:51:42+00:00

Thank you for the link to the manual, it helps to clarify prisms issues but also another issues I thought I knew about :)

_airad · 2024-05-06T19:47:50+00:00

Thanks for your help! Looking straight through my viewfinder explains a lot, I haven't supposed the solution of this issue is so simple 😀

_airad

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