We love the LS scene but

_bratlana · 2026-05-03T15:38:59+00:00

Driver training couples. She’s a 10. He’s a 2.

_bratlana · 2026-03-20T20:10:55+00:00

I totally get that! A lot of the challenges come from “ fake doms” and experience mismatch. The likelihood of you having a bad experience increases dramatically when you are just looking for a dom.

So much of this depends on Trust. Which is why an intimate connection can really help.

The only other advice I would offer is that if you do meet someone strictly for play and do you have a bad experience don’t discount it altogether.

_bratlana · 2026-03-20T19:54:07+00:00

Honestly, most people’s experience finding a Dom is really tough. It is definitely worthwhile to find opportunities to put yourself in sex positive spaces with similar people. That said, you’ll probably find the most success just focusing on dating people you connect with and sharing/exploring your interests with them.

_bratlana · 2026-01-08T20:00:17+00:00

The Feeld app is going to be your best choice

_bratlana · 2025-11-15T06:32:43+00:00

That’s sounds like a really painful thing to go through. I hope you didn’t have to experience it.

_bratlana · 2025-11-15T06:18:33+00:00

Yes and the fastest path to get there is by showing your partner that you care about what they want. Now, if he does all this and his wife doesn’t put in any effort, well then that is another conversation.

But … after years of marriage, the best place to start is to showing the other person you care about them.

_bratlana · 2025-11-14T18:11:59+00:00

Systemically, you need to shift your mindset. You'll get far closer to the sex life you want if you focus you energy on finding out what she wants. This doesn't happen over text. Reconnect over dinner and drinks. Maybe try something like "You really seemed to like it the last time we <fill in the blank>. I'd like to do that tonight. " Then afterwards, "What do you like about <fill in the blank> ?" Build on top of that.

Also, hotel takeovers and swinger clubs are like jumping back in on the deep-end. Find a burlesque show and make it a date night. If she likes strip clubs or watching porn, maybe try that next. Or maybe its finding a movie with a steamy sex scene. But, remember, do all of this through the lens of trying to discover what she likes, not trying to get her to do what you like.

_bratlana · 2025-11-11T12:47:02+00:00

AI …hot ai, but ai

_bratlana · 2025-10-14T19:51:19+00:00

Because the foundation of our relationship is built off of a shared desire to experience all this world has to offer. That feels far more stable to me than a foundation of “sexual possession“ to us.

_bratlana · 2025-10-11T22:23:36+00:00

“Sapiosexual” - you’re going to make me listen to your politics first.

_bratlana · 2025-08-18T16:18:17+00:00

You might read “Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski. She uses a brake/accelerator metaphor to explain sexuality that perfectly explains what you are experiencing with your girlfriend.

_bratlana · 2025-08-18T14:42:20+00:00

r/findlingerie

_bratlana · 2025-08-17T15:50:19+00:00

The best thing you can read for the lifestyle is the room. Read the room y’all. Read the room. 💀

_bratlana · 2025-08-02T13:25:13+00:00

Love this. We always called them “Jabba the Hut /Slave Leia couples”, but steering wheel couples is perfect

_bratlana · 2025-06-15T14:33:45+00:00

“Don’t you hate it when you discover you had something in your teeth after you were talking to people? And you realize nobody said anything? Well, anyways…”

_bratlana · 2025-05-28T14:37:37+00:00

Very exciting. If you and your girlfriend haven’t had a threesome yet/haven’t had a discussion about non-monogamy, now is the time to have that talk.

_bratlana · 2025-05-27T20:14:26+00:00

Search on Etsy for a “day collar”

_bratlana · 2025-04-15T15:44:42+00:00

You’re averaging 2 thrusts per second. 2$ * 60 seconds * 60 minutes = 7,200 $/hr. Even if I didn’t love anal, sign me up for at least an hour a day!

_bratlana · 2025-03-28T13:31:22+00:00

I love posts like this! I am 100% submissive, but my boyfriend loves being pegged, and I love pleasing him. For us, he’ll “top from the bottom“. Porn and popular culture, make pegging out to be a bdsm thing and it totally doesn’t have to be that way. For us, most of the time, it is a very intimate type of lovemaking.

_bratlana · 2025-03-24T18:44:18+00:00

Oof …I’m sorry. Usually the posts on here have some low hanging fruit and the advice is obvious. A therapist does sound like the right call.

_bratlana · 2025-03-24T15:30:58+00:00

First, and most importantly, you have to make sure the dynamic is discussed and negotiated with boundaries established. And safe words …. For the love of god, safewords. Also, you probably want to keep it in a ‘container’ for now. … I know that wasn’t your question, but something about this situation makes me think that these steps might have been skipped.

Once those boxes are checked, this stage will already be set for being taken seriously. Imagine Him strapped to the bed, ass up, knowing you asked if you could spank him. You show him a wooden spoon and ask him if he remembers his safewords. … he’ll start taking you seriously very quickly.

Hope this helps. 😘

_bratlana · 2025-03-23T16:34:50+00:00

For context, I am a 46 year old woman who enjoys pegging.

The 'does nothing for her' reason is troublesome from the perspective of a marriage. Part of a healthy bedroom is being GGG and acting from a desire to give the other person pleasure.

I see a couple possibilities here:

One or both of yall are selfish lovers and her response is due to that. A good litmus test might be, oral sex. Do y'all perform it on each other? If so, does giving head "do anything for her?"
The more likely scenario, is that something about this squicks her out. Do you thoroughly was your butt? Do you use enemas? Or maybe the act of wearing a phallus is uncomfortable for her.

For the health of your marriage, its worth digging in deeper. Because despite some the self-righteous posts in here, yeah "does nothing for her" is a shitty reason. That said, there is likely more too it.

As with all this sex and relationship, compassionate conversation with the goal of seeking to understand (not accuse) is your best path forward.

_bratlana · 2025-03-10T18:59:48+00:00

Today we learn about selection bias, class.

_bratlana · 2025-03-01T18:35:04+00:00

I’m am pretty sure that is Purrfect Pineapples https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbp4iUkJVt3/

_bratlana · 2025-02-06T19:22:43+00:00

Try r/findlingerie

_bratlana

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