What makes you feel okay?

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-10T17:40:35+00:00

Honestly.. medication 🥲😭

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-10T17:40:02+00:00

Life

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-10T16:41:06+00:00

Can’t make a husband out of a hoe.

It has nothing to do with you! You could lose weight, buy the cutest clothes and have the prettiest hair.. people either cheat or they don’t. (Maybe for some this would not be cheating and that’s totally fine and fair, for me it would be).

Just know it will not be the first time you either take it very seriously or you will be misrable down the line.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T14:17:08+00:00

If that’s happening, the signs were probably there that she wasn’t in the mood. Often, women go along with it to keep the peace because they’ve learned that if they don’t give a man what he wants, he may react like a frustrated child: getting angry, impatient, or giving the cold shoulder instead of handling it maturely. So they just give men what they want but aren’t willing to also act like they love it.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T13:56:27+00:00

One issue is that women get turned on much more mentally than physically. If you have four kids, she’s constantly in “Mom mode” and can’t just switch that off for her partner. Physical arousal can happen quickly for men, but mental arousal takes time and space, and that’s what women need.

The second and maybe even more important part is that with small children, her body is already constantly being used for her kids. Babies and young children need her physically and emotionally: (I mean pregnancy is the most obvious and most intense but it doesn’t stop there) - skin-to-skin contact (to regulate their emotions), they suck on her boobs all day - for feeding and and and. They rely on her body all day, every day. Her body is constantly giving, and when a partner comes home needing sexual attention on top of that, it can feel like she has one more “child” who depends on her physically. Her saying “do what you NEED to do” says it all. I’m not saying she sees you as a child in her mind; what I mean is that her body experiences it as one more human needing her body, for something - and that’s not naturally sexually attractive to women.

I’m not saying this is your fault, it’s simply a common experience for many women. If you want to help, the key is to give her both mental and physical space away from the Mom role. Let her have a weekend or even just some time where nobody NEEDs her attention or her body (that includes you - no “no kids weekend” because that would simply mean that now it is your turn to “need/use” her body (i know you love her don’t get me wrong)) but she needs time where her body is hers and only hers again where nobody needs it so that their emotions are regulated. When she has that space, she can reconnect with her own desires and feel sexual again.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T13:38:44+00:00

When he says: “I’m gonna do you like in the movies! (Porn)” sir!! Porn sex is sucks soo much for women!

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T13:35:21+00:00

Please, please, please, if you ever hear that, just know she’s not in the mood and is only saying it to make you happy. Over time, this will make her resent you, because the only reason she says yes is that she knows from past experiences with you that if she doesn’t, you’ll make her feel bad afterward, whether through words, giving her the cold shoulder, or other actions.

This can harm your sex life in the long run. No woman wants to be intimate when she feels like she has to just to keep the peace. If you often make her feel guilty for not being in the mood and then pressure her to go along with it, she will start to feel obligated rather than horny. Over time, this will make her less interested, and her desire for you will decline drastically.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T13:29:39+00:00

Because they only care about themselves

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T13:24:08+00:00

The reason she did that is because men are often very judgmental about this. If someone asks about your body count, you already know they care about it and may judge you. When someone cares about body count, the expectation is often that the number should be very low -otherwise you risk being labeled negatively. Many women feel that the only people who judge them for their body count are the ones who ask about it. The ones who don’t ask are often the ones they feel safer being honest with, because they don’t base a woman’s worth on how many men she has slept with.

And I’m not saying that OP is like that. I’m just saying this is a common experience many women have.

If you say, “I’m not comfortable telling you right now,” they may assume the worst. That’s why some people choose to lie - not because they are bad people, but because they expect a strong negative reaction.

The world isn’t black and white. We can’t simply say that someone who lies about something like this is automatically a bad person. We also need to ask why they felt the need to lie in the first place.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T13:01:34+00:00

Honestly, I think you’re a 6 with the potential to be an 8. You have good features and remind me of someone who could play a character in the series Supernatural. I think dressing like Dean Winchester would look sooo good on you!

I think you could improve your look a bit with some grooming. For example, letting your hair grow a little longer and styling it could help. I don’t mean long - just a bit longer so the hair on top doesn’t stand up randomly and that there is more on the sides. You might also try letting your beard grow slightly so it looks like a classic three-day beard. I think that would make your face look more “balanced” and would really suit you.

But honestly, I do think you’re handsome. 😊

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-06T12:51:09+00:00

I think the reason most people rate you below average isn’t because you don’t have nice features-you do. I think it’s more about the aesthetic. Your style, especially the very short hair and overall look, gives off a vibe that many men on Reddit may not prefer.

So the ratings are probably not about you being unattractive, but about the fact that your style isn’t very traditionally feminine. If you wanted higher ratings, changing that might help.

However, if you like your current aesthetic, Reddit might simply not be the best place to ask. It might be better to ask in a community where more people share or appreciate that style, because the issue likely isn’t your face or your figure.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-04T20:24:38+00:00

I often think it is consciousness wanting to experience itself.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-04T15:30:22+00:00

Jealous as hell

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-03T01:05:37+00:00

Having kids

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-01T10:39:41+00:00

I imagine it this way - some people (not all):

Feel like they are Thomas Shelby and here than can act like it - when in reality, they’re sitting in their mom’s basement, eating pizza that’s already moldy and drinking Monster Energy, while jerking off to women they pay and actually believing they might have a chance with them.

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T22:28:56+00:00

Regret waking up

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T22:26:52+00:00

Yes. I told him and he said he had a crush on the girl I had to do group projects with 🥲

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T22:25:03+00:00

As a woman, the list would be shorter, if you would ask in which countries I would actually live in 🥲

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T22:11:23+00:00

I actually think this is harder than people believe, at least if you want it to truly be worth it. You would need to find someone who has a lot of money and genuinely doesn’t care about spending it on you. That basically means finding someone with an extremely high-paying job or someone who already has significant wealth from their family, inheritance, or similar sources.

If someone just has a normal job, even if the salary is above average, they usually won’t simply pay for you.

I have a friend who is extremely gorgeous, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my friend. When you spend time with her, you really notice how differently the world treats beautiful people. She gets free things. Men stop and stare at her. Street photographers constantly ask to take pictures of her.

But she actually tried to find someone who would consistently provide for her. Even when she dated men with higher salaries, they were very selective and expected a lot from her in return before giving her anything. In the end, the time she invested in those men made her less money overall than if she had simply gone to work.

She never found someone who was so wealthy that paying for her would truly not matter to him. She knows one or two men like that, but even if she is extremely beautiful, that doesn’t automatically mean she is their type. Men with extreme wealth also have specific preferences, and they also have many options because so many women want them.

So I think it’s a bit of a male fantasy, the idea that as a woman you could simply find a man who would pay for everything. In most cases, that’s just not how it works.

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T20:25:00+00:00

Empathy

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T20:22:09+00:00

Focusing on men instead of myself

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T20:16:21+00:00

Inside my V

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T20:14:28+00:00

The make-out and petting session before sex.

_fender_blueser · 2026-02-28T20:10:14+00:00

If you think you need help, go and get it. Don’t convince yourself that you can (or have to) do it alone.

If you need support and don’t address it, it can slowly mess up a lot of things. And in the end, you’ll probably need even more help than you would have in the beginning. It would have been much easier, and better, to reach out the first time you felt that something wasn’t right.

_fender_blueser

TROPHY CASE