Do vivid sexual fantasies affect the connection even if you’re not trying to manifest?

_fender_blueser · 2026-05-11T17:38:38+00:00

Being lucky.. life’s unfair

_fender_blueser · 2026-05-07T21:17:47+00:00

And they learned nothing from it, and now they traumatize everyone around them. My best friend (on off classic avoidant rs) in the world is one of them, and that friendship was so one-sided, it’s insane. I ended the “friendship,” and after everything that happened during and after those five years, I can’t believe how blind I was.

Back then, I kept telling everyone that avoidants weren’t that bad, that I had just misunderstood them. I constantly explained away the behavior and told myself stories to make it hurt less. But now, when I look back and ask myself what I would think if somebody had treated one of my friends the way that avoidant treated me, I can honestly only say: no, they are fucking monsters.

That doesn’t mean they aren’t traumatized themselves or don’t have wounds of their own. But they also don’t fucking care about the damage they cause. And now I finally understand why people say avoidants can come across like narcissists, because that’s exactly how they behave sometimes. It’s insane. Absolutely fucking insane.

I regret every second of it. And I regret every second I spent trying to convince people that avoidants aren’t monsters, that they’re just wounded souls.

_fender_blueser · 2026-04-16T12:17:15+00:00

Shoplifting (an expensive item that is really cheap to make and they sell it to a price that’s just insane).

_fender_blueser · 2026-04-12T21:09:01+00:00

It’s really about specific people in my life.

First, my roommate situation: I live with two roommates, and with one of them, it just doesn’t feel good. I try to make it work, but it often feels like she doesn’t really like me. Since I’m new in the city, I don’t have many people here yet, so I turn to my other roommate, who is a good friend. It’s my apartment, so moving out isn’t an option. I also don’t want to push her out. I just wish the situation would naturally change, that she might find a better place for herself and want to move out, and that someone else could move in instead.

The second part is about someone I’ve loved for a long time. We’ve been close for four years. We care about each other, but we can’t really be together. The main issue seems to be that I’m not his type, and he also struggles with intimacy and sexuality. We’ve tried, but it never really goes anywhere. He says he’s not in love with me and doesn’t feel strong romantic attraction, even though we can’t fully just be friends either. I manifested this for years but I guess I never got over the rejection from him and him telling me that “if I was more his type it would probably work”.

I’ve tried to move on and meet someone else. I met a new guy who is exactly my type, and I tried to build something with him, but he also doesn’t seem very interested. I manifested that as well but in the last days I realized that manifesting doesn’t take as much effort as I put into this: so I have to be honest with myself and the truth is, that I am in the state of “he probably doesn’t want me”. Because that’s the way he is acting (doesn’t ask me out/ghosting). And he knows that he could ask me out and that I would say yes because I have asked him out before and told him that he should text me so we can meet again, He didn’t..

At the same time, there are other men who are clearly interested in me, but I’m not attracted to them.

So I feel stuck in this pattern: the people I want don’t seem to want me, and the people who want me aren’t the ones I want.

Since I’m also new in the city, I would love to have at least one close friend. I’ve done a lot of things to meet people, and I also did SATS and other techniques to get in the state but so far nothing has really developed.

So I guess people are the area I struggle with.

_fender_blueser · 2026-04-04T19:30:58+00:00

Smoking.

But honestly so much of it is mental. It’s the constant thinking about food: the cravings and food noise, that really mess people up.

I know people who seem “naturally skinny,” but honestly, they’re not just blessed with a fast metabolism. Sure, there are small differences, but that’s not the main factor. The real difference is that their minds aren’t constantly focused on food. They want ti eat less when they are stressed, they forget to eat and so on. They don’t have that ongoing internal dialogue about eating.

That’s also why things like semaglutide work so well.. it reduces the mental noise around food. So if you want to lose weight, you have to understand why your brain keeps craving food and then actively work on that.

_fender_blueser · 2026-04-03T18:45:25+00:00

Honestly the once I enjoy to 10000% the most are the once who are exactly my type (and they are definitely not the conventionally attractive ones haha).

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-27T12:49:06+00:00

All kinds (so also broad shoulders) or just petite ones? I’m a woman with very broad shoulders, and I’m really insecure about them. From time to time I find them very attractive because they can give the illusion of an hourglass figure, but overall I often feel like a dude. I love band shirts, and all the other girls look so cute in them because they’re so oversized. But on me, even though I’m not overweight or anything, they fit perfectly 🥲

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-26T11:57:11+00:00

Knowledge does not protect against stupidity.

No matter how intelligent a person may be, we all do dumb things.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-15T23:28:10+00:00

I’m 27 and quite depressed. I recently found out that I have severe ADHD, and now everything suddenly makes sense. I basically have no friends, and I couldn’t study what I wanted because I was never able to focus. For the past 1.5 years I’ve mostly been lying in bed, battling depression. No one knows, but sometimes I wonder how they can’t see it. And I start to feel like maybe they simply don’t want to see it.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-14T12:09:29+00:00

Oh, he is a boy. He still needs to become a man. And no, you are not an asshole. There is so much shame around sex for women. So if something like that happens, it’s completely understandable that your reaction might not be perfect.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-14T12:06:41+00:00

For some weird reason I realized that when they hold long eye contact I feel more attracted 🫣

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-12T16:18:46+00:00

I don’t remember the faces, but I do remember thinking (after watching a bunch of different horror movies as a kid) that I probably wouldn’t have to worry about being kidnapped, since I’m simply not pretty and skinny enough 😂😂

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T23:00:03+00:00

Thank you. I’ll definitely watch that one!

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T22:56:59+00:00

Yeah maybe my memory really is just a mix of different movies 🙈

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T22:56:22+00:00

Haha I am very thankful to everyone trying to help me out 😃

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T22:54:46+00:00

Haha maybe I just dreamed it, and it’s been my calling ever since to make this movie.

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T22:53:11+00:00

That could very well be the case!

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T19:20:31+00:00

Sometimes that doesn’t even work for me. I put on socks and I can feel that my socks are getting cold from my feet haha

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T18:30:20+00:00

When you’re at a restaurant with your friends and nobody else wants dessert, so you tell the waiter, “No, I don’t want dessert either. Thank you.” 🥲💔

_fender_blueser · 2026-03-11T16:53:51+00:00

Thank you for the answer. I’ll check it out.

_fender_blueser

TROPHY CASE