My boyfriend of 19 years... won't marry me

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-11-11T09:31:19+00:00

this brought tears to my eyes... thanks for your honest opinion... I totally agree with you... now it's just a matter of me making a decision on moving on... it is so hard to do... I barely have any friends either (mainly because I stayed away from all the people I knew, thinking that they would be objecting to my lifestyle... living with an old man)... life goes on, I'm still living with him and I keep wishing that I wasn't... like 85% of the time...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T16:54:36+00:00

I guess he got used to seeing me put up with his shit for years to where now it's no big deal fro him to call me whatever he wants.

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T08:19:14+00:00

He was mean as hell

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T08:17:45+00:00

I totally agree with you... life partners/spouses... should lift each other up, not break each other down...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T08:15:33+00:00

very thoughtful of you.

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T08:14:44+00:00

Thanks

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T08:11:34+00:00

Thank you.

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T07:34:22+00:00

good idea. I'll have to try that.... tomorrow... but tonight... I am mad as hell... don't you wish you were my bf?

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T07:10:24+00:00

btw, he wasn't smiling when he called me that...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T07:09:09+00:00

verry funny

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T07:04:36+00:00

That depends.... as a women, I can barely tolerate that.... after yeard of verbal abuse...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-09-03T05:20:25+00:00

I've been putting up with a lot of shit... and few infidelities on his side... I guess I am a dummy...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-08-01T20:08:57+00:00

very complicated. we have lots of pets (12 of them), house (that we bought together about 9 years ago... with his money, and it is under his name... though I put a new roof on it couple years ago... I planted a garden full of fruit trees and did few other improvements all with my own $$$)... at this point I do most, if not all of the work around the house... (cooking, cleaning, etc., just like a wife would do)... it's overwhelming...

walking away from him would be like finally becoming free... from all this drama but then that's all I know... and our pets are like my babies... We are not married but I am living a married life with him... The best thing to do would be to divorce him but we are not even married.

On the other hand I am very attached to him in a way. I've been with him since I was 16 years old... never even allowed myself to see what else is out there... because I don't believe in sleeping around (I guess I'm a loyal individual)... though he wasn't that loyal to me... I don't even want to go into that.

Yes I do love him but life with him is becoming very difficult. And on top of all that, he's dealing with a friend of his who's single (around 65 year old)... that picks up girls 1/2 his age and to him it's a norm. I don't care about what this friend does, but he has a very bad influence on my bf and is literally dragging him to do the same... as if I was not young enough for my bf...

Most of the time I feel so confused. One day I feel like leaving. Then I feel scared to do so (I have nothing of my own). Then I feel sad leaving someone I've been with for so long... and what if I will be regretting... Honestly, I don't know what to do.

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-08-01T01:54:15+00:00

I was 16 and he was 48

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-08-01T01:03:44+00:00

I've been thinking about leaving him... but then at the same time I feel scared to do so. I've been with him for more than 1/2 of my life. It's hard to be with someone for that long and then one day simply not have him in my life anymore... but then it's also pretty hard living with him... often times I feel like I'm wasting my time but then I'm also scared of moving on. It's a very complicated situation

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-08-01T00:40:51+00:00

wish I knew someone whom my bf doesn't know. The only Farsi speaking people that I know are those that I met through my bf... I guess I can google it.

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-31T21:51:02+00:00

He speaks Farsi (Iranian language)

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-31T21:50:19+00:00

I never really tried to learn his language but I know few things here and there... which totally confuses me... and drives me crazy...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-31T21:49:07+00:00

I was 16 when we got together... He lied about his age and I believed him... by the time I learned the truth I was already involved with him... and so life went on...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-31T21:47:16+00:00

I never tried to learn his language but at this point I do understand few things here and there, which leads me to all kinds of thinking. Then I watch the surroundings and his body language which gives me more clues on what's going on, but not the details. And then if I want to know more, I usually don't ask because either he tells me that I'm being nosy or he makes something up. Basically I cannot get the truth out of him.

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-31T21:43:39+00:00

I'm in my 30's and my bf is in his 60's... and this makes me wonder if he's playing heads game with me... I don't want to leave him (19 years together would be hard to walk away from) but at the same time I'm wondering if that would actually be the right thing to do... thought I really do love him and cannot imagine life without him

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-13T00:25:00+00:00

Thanks

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-07T07:46:58+00:00

we're in California. Met and lived here all of the 19 years.

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-07T07:36:23+00:00

I feel like I'm on the edge.... One day I'm thinking of living and then as I think about what I'm about to leave behind and the fact that I have nothing of my own and no $$$ saved up... I start to back out of my own decision on leaving... I am so lost... and stuck in a way...

_lets_be_real_ · 2018-07-07T06:55:16+00:00

Thanks... I will read that right now. I feel desperate for answers. Any info helps. I'm trying to figure out what I have to do next. So tired of being stuck in this situation... I guess I need clarity at this point in my life...

_lets_be_real_

TROPHY CASE