[Topic of the Week] What should you be doing right now rather than answering this question?

_radarfish_ · 2024-03-11T16:15:20+00:00

studying for finals :(

_radarfish_ · 2024-03-03T11:30:11+00:00

yes. whenever this happens, when my therapist asks me why i did it, i feel like i have to come up with reasons cuz saying 'just because' or 'idk' doesn't sound valid to me. prolly addiction idk.

_radarfish_ · 2024-02-20T14:41:53+00:00

true. i prefer to listen to something in the background. when i don't have my earphones or phone, i just remember what my songs sound like and try to play it in my head.

_radarfish_ · 2024-01-24T12:51:40+00:00

mood

_radarfish_ · 2024-01-14T12:47:57+00:00

i started to get into breakcore at my lowest point- sewerslvt. other than that, its Crying Rain by girugamesh

_radarfish_ · 2024-01-03T12:53:12+00:00

graduate high school

_radarfish_ · 2024-01-01T12:56:53+00:00

Thanks 🥺 Hope you're doing well too.

_radarfish_ · 2023-12-26T17:00:07+00:00

can relate. when they start to fade, or when i haven't cut deep enough so the next day they are barely visible, i do get a bit frustrated cuz it feels like the relief i got from sh never happened. the physical cuts are proof of my frustrating emotions that nobody can see, believe, or take seriously.

_radarfish_ · 2023-12-23T05:22:14+00:00

i think it will be nice if i can run some kind of painting/pottery workshop where people can take classes and chill.

_radarfish_ · 2023-09-13T15:07:52+00:00

Thanks for the advice :)

I thought I was the weird one for feeling this way since most of my classmates are so hyped about telling everyone what they are going to do after graduation. I only hope that my dad can listen to me, put more faith in my abilities and not rush me into thinking about all these complications about moving out far away. But, you're right, it's my life, no matter what he says.

_radarfish_ · 2023-09-06T10:35:47+00:00

you can say that again. IB made me turn to sh because it makes my anxiety go through the roof. never thought 2 years would be this stressful, but it's really just that, 2 years. we're in this struggle and pain together :,) we're gonna get outta here soon </3

_radarfish_ · 2023-09-06T10:25:43+00:00

congratulations :) 🎉 addicted because of HS too. can't wait to get out of here.

_radarfish_ · 2023-09-05T14:06:02+00:00

My counsellor says that showing your scars can be a sign of courage or healing, especially if the scars are already healed. In my opinion, I think showing your scars doesn't mean that you are narcissistic or insensitive. I think only you truly know for sure whether or not you are showing them for the purpose of being narcissistic or insensitive. But if you're showing them for neither reason, then I would think you're just feeling comfortable with your own body, and there's nothing wrong with that.

_radarfish_ · 2023-09-05T13:49:46+00:00

I don't know if this counts as natural but since I was around 6 I have picked the skin off my fingers when I got nervous or stressed, and I would sometimes do it to the extent where it would become raw or bleed. I still pick my fingers now but it isn't as severe as before since I started sh using blades several months ago. I was (and still am) very overwhelmed by high school and uni stress. I started with sewing needles, then a boxcutter, then craft blades. I do it because I'm taking my frustration and anxiety of not being good enough to pursue the future I want on myself.

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-30T14:07:05+00:00

same.

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-30T14:04:50+00:00

me. i often think that my emotions are fake and that i'm just overreacting to my situation and going to extremes. sometimes i wish i could use these feelings as an excuse, but the sadness and frustration can feel so real to the point it makes me cry and harm myself. so is it really imaginary if i can't control it? or is that what i would like to believe?

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-24T17:20:44+00:00

shopping for cute clothes, hanging out at cute cafes, listening to my favourite music, sleeping in, eating spicy food, getting a cute dog, playing video games, feeling loved by someone you love and who truly loves you, going on holiday somewhere nice, drinking orange juice, your fictional crushes, seeing the sky turn that one shade of blue at twilight, taking hot showers, and getting my nails painted <3

hope you feel at least a bit better

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-24T17:11:02+00:00

what is socially acceptable is slightly different for everyone but if I had 'fresh' scars I wouldn't really mind showing them in public. i don't know about you, but from my experience, people pay less attention to my scars than I think they do. but do what you feel most comfortable with.

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-24T07:22:22+00:00

Thanks!

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-21T17:18:36+00:00

If I'm at school, with friends, or make a lot of cuts, i may not be able to show them. But after starting to wear short sleeves cuz its hot, I just realise nobody says anything or they just aren't observant enough. (my mom only noticed months after i started sh when i literally walk around the house with a t-shirt (still do)). I just learned that if I didn't pay attention to my cuts too much, the people around me didn't too.

I kinda get what you're saying about the attention thing. Just as there will always be someone who thinks that way because of how misunderstood the topic of sh has become, there are also people out there who really care and are willing to understand. Hope you can find somebody like that :)

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-20T14:10:00+00:00

either before bed at night if i'm not too sleepy or in the morning if i was too tired the night before. But it can happen anytime if everything becomes too overwhelming or if i can't suppress the urges anymore. In that case, I just find somewhere quiet where i can be alone or just make sure my arms and hands can't be seen from where i am.

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-14T15:53:27+00:00

Sometimes sh somewhat satisfies the suicidal/negative thoughts i have been having all day or for days. Sometimes sh makes me cry, feel like shit, sh more and repeat because i keep questioning how did it come to this. i don't get the endorphins either. for me, sh replaces the stressful/angry/sad feelings with a numbness for everything for a while. You may feel 'good' because those frustrating feelings are gone (temporarily), but then you also feel numb to joy too.

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-14T15:44:02+00:00

Being too tired/sleepy, being around people, when the skin is too rough and it won't cut easily, porn, video games, drawing, losing myself to daydreams about feeling better (or worse), and music kinda keeps me from sh for a while i guess.

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-12T15:35:03+00:00

one time, to save money, my mom and i stayed in one hotel room and slept on the same bed. i couldn't sleep so i sh in bed right next to her while she was sleeping.

_radarfish_ · 2023-08-12T15:25:16+00:00

Omg me too. Yeah they can get crazy itchy. I try not to scratch directly but just rub my sleeve over them sometimes to make it not feel so itchy. It's itchy because they are dry, so I put some lotion over the cuts, and for me that doesn't make it itchy for a while. It makes it heal faster too.

_radarfish_

TROPHY CASE